General Discussion

CTyankee

(68,015 posts)

279. goodness! thanks ever so much for enlightening me about what feminism is...

Wed Jan 15, 2014, 08:41 AM

Jan 2014

But let's see. you frame this as feminism "explaining human relationships" and I prefer to say feminism provides context for human relationships just as you might say humanism does. or progressivism. or liberalism. They all have underlying concepts that inform the way we conduct our lives. Presumably, that includes human relationships as well as many other areas. pretty simple idea, no?

You seem to have such a crabbed view of what feminism can do FOR men and that is sad. Yes, feminism is interested in preventing "men doing things it doesn't like." You might just as well say that preventing slaveholders from owning human beings was an "interest" of abolitionists and those enslaved, for example. Righting wrongs in society, making a society more equitable often requires such effort. However, the further point was about the liberating effect of feminism FOR men. This is what I meant about doing further research. There is a lot of literature out there that can explain that concept much better than I can. But I can tell you that I am a woman surrounded by feminists who are men, who "get it" and who are happier for it. These men are married to women deeply committed to feminism in every facet of their lives. They are fathers of daughters and sons and they are friends and coworkers. I look at their lives and I see some very enriched human beings. They don't moan and groan about how awful feminism has made their lives.

You are missing a bet if you don't understand what I am trying to tell you and it is truly your loss.

Be well, Sibelian. I only hope the best for you.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

294 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

to all those men so "offended" by the feminists [View all] DonCoquixote Jan 2014 OP

Tell it. A-Schwarzenegger Jan 2014 #1

Well said. nt el_bryanto Jan 2014 #2

sorry, reflex action when I see Gilligan's Island mentioned - quinnox Jan 2014 #3

Perhaps, you might consider chervilant Jan 2014 #90

Damn, it was just a funny picture quinnox Jan 2014 #164

Yes, in your current riposte chervilant Jan 2014 #196

Kick. Well said. Squinch Jan 2014 #4

This is important: LumosMaxima Jan 2014 #5

DU needs meta NoOneMan Jan 2014 #6

I hear the Hosts forum is a hoot. Iggo Jan 2014 #16

Nah, we have GD. Gormy Cuss Jan 2014 #96

I'm a woman RainDog Jan 2014 #7

funny, because what I'm noticed is the complete opposite BainsBane Jan 2014 #8

In response to what someone has done RainDog Jan 2014 #9

Actually no, I saw you on two occasions talking in a thread where that person wasn't even present BainsBane Jan 2014 #10

bye RainDog Jan 2014 #22

Could you tell me what in my post BainsBane Jan 2014 #25

Some people have reading comprehension issues and, are not familiar with commom literary Tuesday Afternoon Jan 2014 #23

This message was self-deleted by its author RainDog Jan 2014 #53

There are secret forums here where people privately make fun of other posters? El_Johns Jan 2014 #59

pardon? RainDog Jan 2014 #60

I'm probably one of the very few who regularly participates in both HoF and the Men's Group. nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #231

that's good to hear RainDog Jan 2014 #235

I think intaglio probably overreacted there, but doesn't deserve a suspension over that nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #242

Intaglio was bullying a woman on that thread RainDog Jan 2014 #244

I agree Warren was treated unfairly on that thread. People can go too far in their righteous anger nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #246

Okay RainDog Jan 2014 #247

I don't know, honestly. I do know some HoF members have been unfairly characterized nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #248

it was a foaming-at-the-mouth performance RainDog Jan 2014 #249

There's seemingly always the insinuation that they hate men, or hate sex, or related silliness. nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #250

And this has nothing to do RainDog Jan 2014 #252

As I said, both sides do it. And it's wrong either way. nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #253

Sure RainDog Jan 2014 #255

Tempers run too high here for sure. And personal beefs, sadly, tend to take precedence over issues nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #256

true RainDog Jan 2014 #257

Same to you. And I realize most of us probably agree on 90% of the really important stuff. nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #258

I'd like to point out BainsBane Jan 2014 #280

well stated. n/t Scout Jan 2014 #281

I agree with nearly everything you said. Some folks really have it in for certain posters nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #282

Or straight-up trolling. redqueen Jan 2014 #289

Oh yeah, no doubt. I guess it's still "trolling" even if longtime members do it, because the intent nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #292

With all due respect. lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #283

So if I care about someone BainsBane Jan 2014 #284

This isn't about you, personally. lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #286

Yet your assertion is that HOF is a collective BainsBane Jan 2014 #287

No. You're responsible for what you write. Contributors to that thread are responsible for theirs... lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #290

lots of garble BainsBane Jan 2014 #293

HOF and ATA pintobean Jan 2014 #291

FUCKING THANK YOU!!!!!!!! redqueen Jan 2014 #288

There's no fucking "largely" about it. There is one opiate69 Jan 2014 #251

Yes, I acknowledge he was way out of line. I was being too equivocal before because I didn't have nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #254

For some in it's V and M or GD BainsBane Jan 2014 #61

You totally raise some valid points rbixby Jan 2014 #206

No, and apparently asking for evidence BainsBane Jan 2014 #208

Here are examples BainsBane Jan 2014 #68

Yes. RainDog Jan 2014 #69

I haven't come close to attacking you here. BainsBane Jan 2014 #70

Well I personally don't know this person ismnotwasm Jan 2014 #11

note that I emphasized DonCoquixote Jan 2014 #12

You know I think there is a period of time BainsBane Jan 2014 #15

That is a very interesting theory, actually. I was born in 1984 and I can't recall any particular nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #243

Thank you very much ismnotwasm Jan 2014 #17

while trying to discuss core causes of other oppressions BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2014 #28

Hmmm ... 1StrongBlackMan Jan 2014 #146

Without question BainsBane Jan 2014 #213

So true ... 1StrongBlackMan Jan 2014 #214

"A place is not inclusive if it insists on the parameters of discussion being framed in ways that nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #245

Ironically BainsBane Jan 2014 #259

Like I said, you'd think "trash thread" and such didn't exist. But everything has to be about them nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #260

I have often thought that BainsBane Jan 2014 #261

I guess one way to "use" privilege productively is say things I can "get away with" as a white guy nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #263

that doesn't surprise me, sad to say. BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2014 #276

Good for you my friend! I admire you courage. hrmjustin Jan 2014 #19

"Paddy wagon" is a slur against the Irish. n/t tammywammy Jan 2014 #62

BWHAHA! Atman Jan 2014 #78

I'm of Irish descent too and grew up in an Irish American community. Gormy Cuss Jan 2014 #100

I totally agree with you! Atman Jan 2014 #177

I always thought it was called a paddy wagon Boudica the Lyoness Jan 2014 #217

No, it was called that because it was used to haul off paddys. Gormy Cuss Jan 2014 #236

That is good to know. Jamastiene Jan 2014 #278

"...no one is looking for a 'white knight'-- just a place to speak your piece." nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #240

kick Orrex Jan 2014 #21

You kick that post BainsBane Jan 2014 #40

+1 Major Nikon Jan 2014 #52

Well Said! Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #73

+1 L0oniX Jan 2014 #156

Perhaps, you might consider chervilant Jan 2014 #160

perhaps, you might consider RainDog Jan 2014 #166

Excellent, RainDog. nt polly7 Jan 2014 #174

It does a tremendous disservice to Feminism... OilemFirchen Jan 2014 #185

You called it the way I see it too. RC Jan 2014 #189

+1000000000000 LadyHawkAZ Jan 2014 #210

Yeah, this is what we need pintobean Jan 2014 #13

White Rabbit! ismnotwasm Jan 2014 #18

Hey there! NoOneMan Jan 2014 #20

Me? Uh huh. ismnotwasm Jan 2014 #26

Congrats. The third is the charm NoOneMan Jan 2014 #27

Ah, but off of DU ismnotwasm Jan 2014 #29

You watch trainwrecks from the road side ever? NoOneMan Jan 2014 #30

Train wrecks are rare; I've never seen one ismnotwasm Jan 2014 #57

Well said my friend! I can not stand the poor men crowd. hrmjustin Jan 2014 #14

Ally! BlancheSplanchnik Jan 2014 #24

K&R DeSwiss Jan 2014 #31

No real man... awoke_in_2003 Jan 2014 #32

^THIS. LeftyMom Jan 2014 #34

There are assholes... awoke_in_2003 Jan 2014 #37

^THIS NoOneMan Jan 2014 #38

You mean 'Feminism'? AgingAmerican Jan 2014 #43

I meant what I said. nt awoke_in_2003 Jan 2014 #66

So... AgingAmerican Jan 2014 #67

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2014 #71

No real person should be offended by anything... snooper2 Jan 2014 #85

Now that's offensive awoke_in_2003 Jan 2014 #91

I'm offended by people Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #33

Didn't you just play the "woe is me" card on another thread because women won't date you? LeftyMom Jan 2014 #35

I didn't start a thread about it. Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #36

Bitter apples and nasty oranges, LeftyMom. Bonobo Jan 2014 #41

I'm really not interested in the opinion of somebody who hates women. LeftyMom Jan 2014 #42

I don't hate women at all and your way over the top comment speaks volumes about YOU not me. nt Bonobo Jan 2014 #46

The jury disagreed. LeftyMom Jan 2014 #47

Yes, they disagreed that you were engaging in hate speech. Bonobo Jan 2014 #50

Post removed Post removed Jan 2014 #51

That is the lowest, sleaziest post I have ever seen. nt Bonobo Jan 2014 #54

I wasn't going to reply to this thread at all but LittleBlue Jan 2014 #63

Seriously. JVS Jan 2014 #64

Agreed mythology Jan 2014 #81

Two ugly posts from that poster in this thread. Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #65

in your alert you said that Leftymom said you killed your sister CreekDog Jan 2014 #93

All jurors had to do was read the post. The jury got it. It was pretty foul. Comrade Grumpy Jan 2014 #95

This message was self-deleted by its author CreekDog Jan 2014 #98

based on what I just read it doesn't appear LeftyMom said he "killed" anyone. CTyankee Jan 2014 #168

He might have gotten angry when he wrote the alert and did not read it right. hrmjustin Jan 2014 #170

but it is being repeated by others. What am I not seeing that they "see"? CTyankee Jan 2014 #172

I don't see it being repeated. I think the jury members read the comment and felt hrmjustin Jan 2014 #175

This message was self-deleted by its author lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #176

read the question. it is just as it is asked. CTyankee Jan 2014 #178

This message was self-deleted by its author lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #183

And I think you should leave this alone. I asked a question based on what was CTyankee Jan 2014 #184

"I think I have my answers, both from you and hrmjustin." opiate69 Jan 2014 #193

No, that isn't what LeftyMom said or meant at all. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #194

well, then, why do they say LM said it? CTyankee Jan 2014 #198

Because the jurors don't know how to read and believed the alerter. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #200

How did they know what the alerter said pintobean Jan 2014 #205

I'm sure you can figure it out. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #215

Yes, the jurors read the post pintobean Jan 2014 #218

I agree that the post was hurtful. I disagree with the alerter's comments. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #219

this moment is why I say the issue is about personalities RainDog Jan 2014 #221

I was so shocked to see it that I misread. Bonobo Jan 2014 #224

I knew exactly that's what had happened. polly7 Jan 2014 #226

+1 - I can't imagine what kind pintobean Jan 2014 #227

A simple, small little mind. nt polly7 Jan 2014 #229

It succeeded in that. Well done. nt Bonobo Jan 2014 #230

I apologize you were subject to such a disgusting post quinnox Jan 2014 #238

This message was self-deleted by its author lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #58

Lol! Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #187

Wow... AgingAmerican Jan 2014 #44

i'm offended by people FatBuddy Jan 2014 #48

why are all the call out threads towards the men? There are men and women on DU liberal_at_heart Jan 2014 #39

I am only offended by them when they are offensive AgingAmerican Jan 2014 #45

K&R nt redqueen Jan 2014 #49

thank you DonCoquixote Jan 2014 #55

Precisely. Solidarity is not chivalry. redqueen Jan 2014 #92

"as people were harassed and left" lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #56

let me make it clear then DonCoquixote Jan 2014 #94

Okay, then help me understand. lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #109

Don, you are an honorable man. And I honor you as many women here do. CTyankee Jan 2014 #223

K&R UtahLib Jan 2014 #72

And that can be completely turned around and be perfectly accurate. polly7 Jan 2014 #74

I think what disturbs me most is the idea that there is a single HOF horde BainsBane Jan 2014 #75

People get hides because a jury believes their post deserves to be hidden. Period. polly7 Jan 2014 #76

Let's be honest, only whining from people you dislike bothers you. seaglass Jan 2014 #106

You have no idea who I like or dislike, why would you think you know that? polly7 Jan 2014 #112

Because your dislike is obvious. seaglass Jan 2014 #157

I haven't even posted in that thread, why would you post it in a reply to me polly7 Jan 2014 #159

Pointless. n/t seaglass Jan 2014 #162

It sure was. nt. polly7 Jan 2014 #163

ere, let me add something though DonCoquixote Jan 2014 #140

Here, investigate. pintobean Jan 2014 #150

Where are these braggarts posting? Capt. Obvious Jan 2014 #158

Who is SB? polly7 Jan 2014 #161

He obviously doesn't know what he's talking about. pintobean Jan 2014 #167

That makes more sense then. polly7 Jan 2014 #171

Thanks Polly zappaman Jan 2014 #169

Thanks zappaman, we're not the only ones, by far ... polly7 Jan 2014 #173

Yes she is! zappaman Jan 2014 #180

I'm always amused when you whine about alerts. pintobean Jan 2014 #79

Holy cow nice find. Egnever Jan 2014 #116

How is that poster not PPR'ed? Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #134

Judgement call by admin. pintobean Jan 2014 #139

Skinner's said that there isn't any alert stalking going on... Violet_Crumble Jan 2014 #80

Violet BainsBane Jan 2014 #111

Or the posts were so odious they still deserved to be hidden regardless of the poster's status. tammywammy Jan 2014 #122

I've seen offensive posts from people flagged BainsBane Jan 2014 #124

I would alert if it was offensive. tammywammy Jan 2014 #127

How do you know it wasn't 5 different alerters pintobean Jan 2014 #128

So there should be some kind of self-imposed "mercy rule"? opiate69 Jan 2014 #130

This message was self-deleted by its author pintobean Jan 2014 #135

Oh, no, you didn't!!! opiate69 Jan 2014 #138

I'd better delete that pintobean Jan 2014 #142

Heh.. unfortunately, probably a wise move... opiate69 Jan 2014 #143

I don't know BainsBane Jan 2014 #149

Multiple hides within a short period is far more likely the result of a particularly bad outburst... JVS Jan 2014 #212

I completely agree. tammywammy Jan 2014 #216

That would mean that at least 21 people are involved in this conspiracy. OilemFirchen Jan 2014 #129

You only need 4 per jury hootinholler Jan 2014 #233

I was accounting for the alerter. OilemFirchen Jan 2014 #239

If they think feminists can be silenced here on DU, they will be sadly disappointed. CTyankee Jan 2014 #83

Do you even know what a Hof Hoard is? You should spend more time doing research LOL snooper2 Jan 2014 #86

For better or worse, one of the hallmarks of HoF is solidarity. lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #87

I saw that thread. Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #234

Hear, hear! nt DLevine Jan 2014 #77

I'm offended by stupid people mythology Jan 2014 #82

and said post was shuit down by jury DonCoquixote Jan 2014 #147

Who was driven off? Capt. Obvious Jan 2014 #84

A boatload of people had 5 or more jury hides NoOneMan Jan 2014 #88

Actually, it was only a handful of DUers. MineralMan Jan 2014 #99

It was 7. One is already back. n/t FSogol Jan 2014 #101

Yup. MineralMan Jan 2014 #102

Those 7 are a diverse group, but they all lack the self control to not fly off the handle and FSogol Jan 2014 #103

Well, I hope it works. MineralMan Jan 2014 #114

Maybe if they would THINK about what they post.. MicaelS Jan 2014 #117

I think that was the goal of the policy. MineralMan Jan 2014 #118

I think it is an excellent policy. MicaelS Jan 2014 #119

Agree. n/t FSogol Jan 2014 #120

I don't think it's going to work if the people who violate the rules see themselves as victims of... JVS Jan 2014 #121

It will if they can't post for 30 days at a time. MicaelS Jan 2014 #123

I would hope not. That would ratchet up the attempts of some to get ScreamingMeemie Jan 2014 #126

Nobody can force a person to repeatedly break the rules. JVS Jan 2014 #131

No, but I have seen some appear to be targeted. I still trust admin when it comes to ScreamingMeemie Jan 2014 #133

I disagree. MicaelS Jan 2014 #132

We will agree to disagree then. ScreamingMeemie Jan 2014 #137

It was eleven. pintobean Jan 2014 #104

it was 11 originally. hrmjustin Jan 2014 #141

Yes, Pintobean corrected my reply already. FSogol Jan 2014 #152

I did not mean to insult you. And it was not a secret. hrmjustin Jan 2014 #153

Haven't I apologized enough? FSogol Jan 2014 #154

Thanks. hrmjustin Jan 2014 #155

Depends on the size of the boat. Gormy Cuss Jan 2014 #107

Ah, well, you're right, of course. MineralMan Jan 2014 #108

I was one NoOneMan Jan 2014 #110

Were you? I didn't know that. MineralMan Jan 2014 #113

Good for you. CFLDem Jan 2014 #89

Or a plate of cookies. WorseBeforeBetter Jan 2014 #202

KnR. nt tblue37 Jan 2014 #97

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2014 #105

Welcome to DU... you'll figure it out soon enough I'm sure. ScreamingMeemie Jan 2014 #115

This is an honest opinion from this poster. hrmjustin Jan 2014 #144

er, minor thing DonCoquixote Jan 2014 #145

better yet, look up the transparency pages of any of the individuals in question. lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #151

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2014 #188

This might be best posted in welcome and help lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #201

Message auto-removed Name removed Jan 2014 #203

The admins put a lot of thought and work into the infrastructure. lumberjack_jeff Jan 2014 #209

People don't tend to dislike someone without reason. pintobean Jan 2014 #211

Patience Grasshopper... SomethingFishy Jan 2014 #148

my favorite are the men who make sexist remarks and then whine about geek tragedy Jan 2014 #125

And the women who defend them! redqueen Jan 2014 #136

'Cause, they're not "real" feminists, amirite? opiate69 Jan 2014 #165

Course not, we're just faithful old dogs in need of some polly7 Jan 2014 #179

Ah.. so many possible inappropriate replies, so little time.. opiate69 Jan 2014 #181

LOL! I know .... nt. polly7 Jan 2014 #182

That reminds me... opiate69 Jan 2014 #197

Wow. And to think about pintobean Jan 2014 #186

You know what they say... PassingFair Jan 2014 #191

Go for it .... polly7 Jan 2014 #192

"If the muzzle fits." is that your cutesy way of calling polly7 a dog? Waiting For Everyman Jan 2014 #204

LOL! polly7 Jan 2014 #228

Everyone at DU is a feminist davidn3600 Jan 2014 #190

There are different kinds of feminists. redqueen Jan 2014 #195

AND, might I add that there are feminist men who feel just as you have so well stated! CTyankee Jan 2014 #207

Wow. sibelian Jan 2014 #232

apart from your ploy of "marginalization," you seem to be under a misapprehension about Feminism. CTyankee Jan 2014 #267

... sibelian Jan 2014 #277

goodness! thanks ever so much for enlightening me about what feminism is... CTyankee Jan 2014 #279

It would be interesting to read more about your utopia. Vinnie From Indy Jan 2014 #222

. . . BainsBane Jan 2014 #220

You see, this is what Im talking about... davidn3600 Jan 2014 #262

I never said ANY of that crap BainsBane Jan 2014 #285

... sibelian Jan 2014 #199

a missed point DonCoquixote Jan 2014 #264

You've served on 174 juries pintobean Jan 2014 #266

gee, getting personal here? DonCoquixote Jan 2014 #272

Those are normal jury results pintobean Jan 2014 #273

Shaming never works Harmony Blue Jan 2014 #225

"Threads like these tend to fall flat," says the 225th poster. Squinch Jan 2014 #237

Number of thread posts Harmony Blue Jan 2014 #268

I liked the part where cinnabonbon Jan 2014 #294

+1 HappyMe Jan 2014 #241

I can always try Harmony Blue Jan 2014 #269

there is criticism DonCoquixote Jan 2014 #265

I will let the moderators and jury system take care of Harmony Blue Jan 2014 #270

white knight DonCoquixote Jan 2014 #271

Ignore it BainsBane Jan 2014 #274

I see you've been busy lately pintobean Jan 2014 #275