General Discussion

Xithras

(16,191 posts)

169. My 19 year old was just talking about it a few days ago.

Wed Jan 15, 2014, 04:25 PM

Jan 2014

My daughter is an attractive and athletic size zero who rock climbs and mountain bikes for fun. She apparently jumped on Tinder last month and made the mistake of posting a photo of herself taken on the beach last summer...shorts and a bikini top. Now, my daughter is a smart girl (she's a biochemistry/premed major at UC), but that apparently wasn't a bright move. She was immediately inundated by so many pervy, vicious, and demented messages that she gave up on trying to clear them out and just deleted the app. When I made a comment about the bikini being a mistake, her friend jumped in and made the comment "No, you can post a photo of yourself wearing a burkha on Tinder, and you'll just end up with an inbox full of messages from guys wanting to screw your eyeballs."

I've never used it myself, but it didn't sound like a pleasant place to find a date.

Besides...it's basically a glorified HotOrNot. Those types of services have never exactly been a bastion of respectful commentary on the opposite sex.

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Man poses as woman on online dating site: barely survives 2 hours [View all] bullwinkle428 Jan 2014 OP

Wow Xipe Totec Jan 2014 #1

Did you read the article? redqueen Jan 2014 #13

I did, but didn't notice an answer to the question muriel_volestrangler Jan 2014 #16

Yes I did read it. Fully. Did I say anything that led you to believe I didn't? Xipe Totec Jan 2014 #40

Yes. The guy was innundated. He could barely keep up. redqueen Jan 2014 #48

He was inundated by repeated messages from the same guys Xipe Totec Jan 2014 #52

If you do that, you'll just spend all your time blocking everyone Recursion Jan 2014 #131

What's your solution? nt Xipe Totec Jan 2014 #164

Don't use free dating sites Recursion Jan 2014 #166

Doesn't matter if you have a function like that. KitSileya Jan 2014 #18

That's true; there are too many creeps. Xipe Totec Jan 2014 #43

yep, only talk to paid members, must have pics and profile, certs and positive feedback loli phabay Jan 2014 #76

Good advice regardless of gender. Xipe Totec Jan 2014 #87

also i would be willing to bet he went into the subforums on the site looking for this stuff loli phabay Jan 2014 #154

Friends who do online dating tell me Warpy Jan 2014 #35

My son did online dating Xipe Totec Jan 2014 #45

Awww... how sweet Recursion Jan 2014 #128

By your own reply above, the problem is selecting the right sites. Xipe Totec Jan 2014 #167

One of our daughters tried an online dating site and was inundated with pictures phylny Jan 2014 #2

why do guys think we want to see pictures of their junk? Skittles Jan 2014 #27

But my junk is pretty impressive. dawg Jan 2014 #51

Damn thats huge Katashi_itto Jan 2014 #55

SCHEDULING DAWG FOR ASS KICKING Skittles Jan 2014 #68

Runs. Hides. dawg Jan 2014 #73

Win. blackspade Jan 2014 #109

Asian girls are always impressed by my junk Nevernose Jan 2014 #113

Damn. That's some impressive junk (nt) Recursion Jan 2014 #133

Your junk Common Sense Party Jan 2014 #140

Since no one dates them, they're always out there trolling stevenleser Jan 2014 #75

Where are those proud Anthony Wiener supporters? Trajan Jan 2014 #96

aw I remember Skittles Jan 2014 #112

I've tried "the tuck", but it hurts when I walk, and it makes me walk funny. cherokeeprogressive Jan 2014 #110

Seriously Dorian Gray Jan 2014 #150

Because we're Big Dummies Warren DeMontague Jan 2014 #175

LOL Skittles Jan 2014 #176

Somewhere out there in the Aether there is a Redd Foxx comedy tape called "Video in a plain brown Warren DeMontague Jan 2014 #177

aw I bet Skittles Jan 2014 #178

Yep. Every woman I know who has tried online dating, without exception, Butterbean Jan 2014 #53

When my soon-to-be 24 year old son was about 12... 3catwoman3 Jan 2014 #81

Chortle.... blackspade Jan 2014 #108

Oh dear, LOL. Bless him for asking. n/t Butterbean Jan 2014 #153

Why do guys think that women they don't even know want to see their penis? Beacool Jan 2014 #105

No, the discomfort it causes is part of the turn on for some Recursion Jan 2014 #129

I guess so. Beacool Jan 2014 #142

I'm interested to know if he went to a free or subscription site Blue_Tires Jan 2014 #3

As a man interested in women, I've spent plenty of time at both free bullwinkle428 Jan 2014 #7

But it also has to be said Blue_Tires Jan 2014 #29

Used to do a great dealing JustAnotherGen Jan 2014 #33

Well ... 1StrongBlackMan Jan 2014 #41

I had almost no interactions hfojvt Jan 2014 #103

being in demand is better but still a pain as you have to wade through lots of stuff loli phabay Jan 2014 #155

The comments mention OKCupid...a known black hole of creepy human degradation. Xithras Jan 2014 #25

Figures Blue_Tires Jan 2014 #31

rules to follow are, no pics or profile block, free members block, look for members with certs or loli phabay Jan 2014 #71

Yeah, because the problem described in the article BainsBane Jan 2014 #146

yeah, no point trying to explain to you so have a great day. loli phabay Jan 2014 #152

My daughter tried Tinder when it first came out and I didn't think it was too bad. If I recall seaglass Jan 2014 #159

My 19 year old was just talking about it a few days ago. Xithras Jan 2014 #169

The way it worked when it first started was that you could not contact the person until you seaglass Jan 2014 #170

A friend of ours had men start with the phrase, riqster Jan 2014 #4

wow. that's disgusting Liberal_in_LA Jan 2014 #6

Yeah. Thank the Gods I'm off the market, along with my wife. riqster Jan 2014 #9

Us, too. I wouldn't date these days for a million dollars. nt Nay Jan 2014 #14

I would AgingAmerican Jan 2014 #102

Benjamin Franklin never said that quote. MattBaggins Jan 2014 #79

thats fairly common from both sexes, you tend to get straight out statements on the chat loli phabay Jan 2014 #21

"kneel, bitch" is fairly common opening line? geek tragedy Jan 2014 #58

yes, if typed by a dom or domme seeing if the respondent is sub or not. saves time loli phabay Jan 2014 #59

Ah, so they verbally abuse strangers with hate speech in order to troll geek tragedy Jan 2014 #62

its not trolling, its shortspeak on the dating websites, only newbies spend hours talking about cats loli phabay Jan 2014 #65

there's not much that's going to convince me that non-dysfunctional pathetic weirdos geek tragedy Jan 2014 #66

ymmv, its the same as typing asl, sex, race, cam, pics, trade or whatever loli phabay Jan 2014 #67

what an odd subculture nt geek tragedy Jan 2014 #70

No doubt the poster makes rather creative and imaginative allegations for "kneel b***h" LanternWaste Jan 2014 #89

It's not the subculture BainsBane Jan 2014 #147

You have to read the urban dictionry entry on asl - oh wth I'll just copy some of it over. seaglass Jan 2014 #163

You might have a point... Lunacee_2013 Jan 2014 #124

you do know that all the dating sites have the whole spectrum of people on them, bdsm etc is loli phabay Jan 2014 #151

Plenty of dating sites Lunacee_2013 Jan 2014 #181

no idea about this individual, or the room that the guy was in, but the poster could have been troll loli phabay Jan 2014 #183

Wait, multiple men said the *exact* same thing to her? Lunacee_2013 Jan 2014 #122

wth is 4chan uneasy? leftyohiolib Jan 2014 #5

"4chan" is a giant online bulletin board where everyone posts anonymously bullwinkle428 Jan 2014 #8

It's just 4chan and it can be pretty, um, out there and disgusting. nt justiceischeap Jan 2014 #10

so stay wawy thanks for the heads up leftyohiolib Jan 2014 #11

Its the anus of the internet. temporary311 Jan 2014 #12

4chan can be a VERY scary place Kelvin Mace Jan 2014 #42

I am a nice guy and I guess this is why I had trouble iandhr Jan 2014 #15

It honestly does explain it! etherealtruth Jan 2014 #74

There were scams running years ago on dating sites dipsydoodle Jan 2014 #17

There is an Australian who had the Russian girl email thing... uriel1972 Jan 2014 #19

As an aside, this is why I hate people who do fake ads Blue_Tires Jan 2014 #23

yup me to, its not as if if they post the truth that there wont be someone interested. loli phabay Jan 2014 #63

Indeed. A small social network site I used to frequent got taken over by fakes. arcane1 Jan 2014 #95

yup, i do hosting on a couple of dating websites and i zap a lot of people practicing subterfuge loli phabay Jan 2014 #156

My friend got sucked into one of those AgingAmerican Jan 2014 #104

Guys kind of have to be like that. CFLDem Jan 2014 #20

also why waste time if you want a certain thing. be upfront. saves time loli phabay Jan 2014 #22

Exactly CFLDem Jan 2014 #28

yup, on the hookup sites its even more blunt, usually asl then sexual acts loli phabay Jan 2014 #30

It's more about finding women who consider "slightly insulting" or "weird" redqueen Jan 2014 #32

Dating is a numbers game. CFLDem Jan 2014 #34

You're changing the subject. This guy was disgusted by *aggressive and vulgar* messages. redqueen Jan 2014 #36

It's online dating. CFLDem Jan 2014 #37

Thanks. redqueen Jan 2014 #38

You are most welcome. CFLDem Jan 2014 #39

Yes. Thanks for making it clear. redqueen Jan 2014 #44

I'm confused. CFLDem Jan 2014 #50

You're suggesting that men be creepy, vaguely threatening weirdos on the Internet. nt geek tragedy Jan 2014 #57

I can't imagine that gets results. If it does, then we're even worse off as a species than I thought nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #60

I'm guessing this is dating advice for the 'red pill' crowd geek tragedy Jan 2014 #61

And the sad thing is, someone somewhere might be just damaged enough to take them up on it. nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #64

Not to make you frightened for the future of the human race, but... Shandris Jan 2014 #69

So I guess they start with an aggressive, demeaning message ("Kneel!") to establish dominance nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #84

I wish I knew. I'd lean more towards the twisted form of caring/confidence than the way... Shandris Jan 2014 #88

I noticed. Ino Jan 2014 #83

So many are offended when the word "creep" is mentioned, yet so many accurately exemplify it without LanternWaste Jan 2014 #92

I couldn't agree more. Sheldon Cooper Jan 2014 #93

Aren't you glad BainsBane Jan 2014 #144

Upthread it's asserted that it's perfectly fine to greet women with "Kneel, bitch." redqueen Jan 2014 #157

I don't get why they don't just stick to fetlife and similar rather than polluting other sites. seaglass Jan 2014 #161

Maybe they're confused about the meaning of the word 'date'. nt redqueen Jan 2014 #162

IMO BainsBane Jan 2014 #168

Gee where on earth would dudes get the idea that women are sex objects? redqueen Jan 2014 #174

Why not? Revanchist Jan 2014 #77

To each their own CFLDem Jan 2014 #80

Umm, yeah? tkmorris Jan 2014 #116

People are who they are BainsBane Jan 2014 #148

Considering it a game is a major reason why many people aren't very good at it. LanternWaste Jan 2014 #90

Actually I find taking it too seriously, CFLDem Jan 2014 #100

I find your dating philosophy strange. kwassa Jan 2014 #127

I think you're reading way too much into it. CFLDem Jan 2014 #149

Pretty much shaayecanaan Jan 2014 #56

Counterpoint : I put together a profile for myself on the PoF site, and from the bullwinkle428 Jan 2014 #98

+ 1,000,000 Lunacee_2013 Jan 2014 #132

The "PUA movement" is a cancer on today's masculinity Recursion Jan 2014 #135

Is a woman who responds to "cocky asshole" really worth dating? tkmorris Jan 2014 #115

Umm.... I wasn't. Recursion Jan 2014 #134

women live in a different world. mopinko Jan 2014 #24

Sad to say, you are wrong. Women live in the exact same world as men, KitSileya Jan 2014 #171

nobody is stopping them. mopinko Jan 2014 #180

I wanted to counter the notion that women live "in a parallel universe" KitSileya Jan 2014 #182

ok, tell that to jimmy carter. mopinko Jan 2014 #184

I'm sure it is rough but Bonobo Jan 2014 #26

The article also uses the phrase "us womenz" nt Cali_Democrat Jan 2014 #47

I have no doubt ... 1StrongBlackMan Jan 2014 #46

Plus nothing beats a referral from a friend. n/t CFLDem Jan 2014 #49

Yeah, because ... 1StrongBlackMan Jan 2014 #99

Yessir CFLDem Jan 2014 #101

Lately I have been playing this on line game... its been hella fun! However... yuiyoshida Jan 2014 #54

a couple decades ago I was coming out of a convenience store Skittles Jan 2014 #72

wow! yuiyoshida Jan 2014 #82

I wish more rude assholes would get that treatment! nomorenomore08 Jan 2014 #85

I would have been willing... 3catwoman3 Jan 2014 #91

Nope. I learned my lesson. n/t cherokeeprogressive Jan 2014 #119

I WILL KICK PERV CHEROKEEPROGRESIVE ASS Skittles Jan 2014 #121

That's not fair... a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do. n/t cherokeeprogressive Jan 2014 #125

SO DOES A KICK-ASS GAL Skittles Jan 2014 #141

Ick. temporary311 Jan 2014 #94

I have had similar things happen A Little Weird Jan 2014 #114

Someone suggested I be gender neutral yuiyoshida Jan 2014 #118

Yes A Little Weird Jan 2014 #120

My only issue with online dating was a lack of responses alarimer Jan 2014 #78

Heck. Just check out the ads on Craigs List. Lint Head Jan 2014 #86

The whole purpose of those Craigslist forums is for adults to hook up. Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #97

If you actually read the original post you would know what I am implying. Lint Head Jan 2014 #136

Way to ignore what I wrote. Vashta Nerada Jan 2014 #138

Insult much? Lint Head Jan 2014 #139

I have never been on a dating site. Beacool Jan 2014 #106

No wonder a lot of women think men are gross. blackspade Jan 2014 #107

Online dating is a fucking cesspool of disgustingness. MadrasT Jan 2014 #111

I hear ya and have experienced that, I found them so adolescent and disgusting! nt arthritisR_US Jan 2014 #123

:shrug: I met my wife through OK Cupid Recursion Jan 2014 #130

That is exactly why I gave up on dating sites. nt arthritisR_US Jan 2014 #117

This is wh,y I gave up on men. mzteris Jan 2014 #126

Sometimes a rest really is needed, I so understand! arthritisR_US Jan 2014 #137

That's sad. dawg Jan 2014 #172

Bear in mind the poster freely admits to lying online, so the whole thing may be a lie. grahamhgreen Jan 2014 #143

Turn off IM and use site's "email" messaging unc70 Jan 2014 #145

It's not just online MissMillie Jan 2014 #158

PUA defenders like to pretend it's a way to get a relationship. redqueen Jan 2014 #173

In other news, water is still wet Orrex Jan 2014 #160

You mean he wasn't flattered by all the attention? historylovr Jan 2014 #165

Not sure how this works marle35 Jan 2014 #179