Oh boy! I just called the cops on my neighbors.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

111. you have my sympathies too.

oh, in a nutshell... only child of a mother who was a textbook Borderline Personality Disorder..the violent, raging for no reason, no boundaries, no privacy, enmeshed, controlling kind. I was mortally terrified of her before I was out of diapers. I've got a partial memory of something.

Dad was in total denial, gone on business, rarely home. Extreme pressure to perform academically. But I have ADD, so that added to the abuse.

Very isolated. Bullying from kindergarten on. Chronic Ulcerative Colitis age 7 -- emergency total collectomy (Ileostomy bag) at age 19--with no warning!! Waking up to that was a hell of a surprise. A lot of horrible medical experiences. Humiliating bowel symptoms, verbal attacks from strangers in public restrooms, too sick to engage in most activities, but never allowed to talk about it........and a lonnnnng history of falling in "love" (desperate emotional dependence and craving for affection) with incredibly damaged people. Full blown psychotic, several severe alcoholics, an actual psychopath, a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a Borderline Personality Disorder.........

fun times, fun times.

just relentless trauma and no way out, no nurturing, no support anywhere, basically.

Finally I've found a terrific therapist, but I've had a few breakdowns over the years-- precipitated by relationship breakups. I'm single now and working on re-parenting and self-care/self-discipline skills.

There are many helpful books; I've been trying to manage the PTSD for ages, and learn basics that I was never taught (everything was done for me).... the one I'm getting a lot out of right now is called "Growing Up Again". I recommend it.

What about you?