Reminder MY GD Friends: No church as EVER performed a marriage. NOT EVER.

[Ms. Toad]

58. Actually, it isn't correct.

There are religious marriages - Quakers, over the years, have traditionally taken marriages under their care which were not recognized at law - same gender marriages most recently (including mine), and in the past interracial marriage, and in the past no Friends marriages were recognized at law for any couple because we don't use an officiant.

The state also recognizes marriages - which brings the state (and all of the rights and privileges associated with legal recognition of marriages) into the picture.

And often the start of a marriage occurs simultaneously in both religious and civil settings because all state statutes include a way for religious officiants to act on behalf of the state in creating legal recognition of the marriage. (And most state statutes also recognize Quaker marriages via special language which eliminates the need for an officiant).

But no - it isn't correct that no church ever "performed" (created) a marriage. As I've noted above, my own marriage was created in my faith community long before it gained legal recognition. While it is true that I do not (still) have all of the legal rights associated with recognition of my marriage, the lack of state recognition does not mean my marriage does not exist.