Anyone who thinks an adult telling about being molested as a child is a liar --

[IdaBriggs]

295. Surprisingly, only 22. There were a lot more positives.

Ignores only kicked in when people either asked (who am I to ignore being asked?), or insisted Dylan was a victim of brain washing/lying, or that since "false memories" had been known to happen, that was probably the case here, or insisted disrespectfully that they required evidence which would be impossible to produce, and him collecting naked pictures of a teenager who looked younger who called him "daddy" for twelve years didn't count, plus that letter wasn't enough - "he said/she said" after all...



You know - the type of people you really don't want to hang with at a dinner party.

I left the "we can't know for sure, but she seems to believe it so I wish her well" folk. I also got rid of a math challenged guy - let the FBI argue their numbers, because life is too short.

The entire topic was a tough one for me; I personally know way too many victims of child sexual assault. We also had an instance in our circle of friends with a guy coming in through the garage door while his best friend's wife was sleeping, and climbing into bed with her. Fortunately she woke up, and was able to talk him down, but "who believed who" was eye opening. The *immediate* response was that she had invited him, with more horror at her betrayal/sympathy for him/a total willingness to overlook him trying to sleep with his friend of over twenty years wife without invitation; fortunately he confessed to my husband so we ended the friendship and supported her. He was never prosecuted. He later showed up at her work and told her she had "ruined his life."



The automatic assumption that women are sluts / men can't help themselves when it comes to women and children offends me at a deep level. The details Dylan shared about her self loathing for not protecting other children and cutting behavior are details I have seen in person with other victims. Her sense that her pain is invisible when his crimes, well publicized, are ignored and he is honored instead of shunned - my heart goes out to her.

I have been on DU for nearly a decade, and I have managed to avoid using the Ignore People feature (with one major exception which fortunately we worked out) despite taking unpopular and sometimes controversial positions (Syria!). I have been honored to have received Recs to the Greatest Page several times. This thread being one of them was a surprise.

One of the participants in the thread refers to it as "rape culture" - the willingness to "look away" when these things happen. The demand for evidence - what kind of evidence is there for "simulating oral sex with a seven year old" by breathing into her lap when she isn't wearing underwear while kneeling in front of her? Or an adult man putting his fingers/thumbs into a child's mouth and demanding she suck? It is the stuff of nightmares. Toss in the accusation of a crazy mother (I would have been homicidal) engaged in a custody battle (because she can't be protective!), and sagely declare the accuser not credible because there might be the possibility of "false memories".

As I said, the stuff of nightmares.

Time for me to let the thread drop. Evil exists when good people ignore it, and this is an old problem. This thread has shown how they justify it, and Ignore is the best I can do at this time.

I wish Dylan healing, and all other survivors the same.