Maybe articles like this will wake up people. Predators who engage in any sexual activities with kids know what they are doing. They are methodical, just like the article describes.
In families, they usually don't molest every kid; in the scout troops they head or in the churches they run--they molest hand-picked kids. And they leave others alone. Not because they are such lovely people. They do it so ten months or ten years from now, if a victim comes forward they can say, "Well, I never molested those other kids!"
Perps work over everyone around them and get in good graces with the right people. The community often regards them highly. They often work their way into positions of authority, that they can use against their perps, "No one will believe you! I'm an important member of this community!"
So when a child does come forward--no one can believe it. "Bill? He is such a great guy...or a nice priest...or a decent father. NEVER!" The child is dismissed, or even blamed, because no one wants to believe it. And people in the community don't want to believe that they were stupid enough to not know that a monster was in their midst..or working the cubicle next to them...or their neighbor or kids' soccer coach. So, the community goes into denial too.
It's just insidious.
And the games these perps play with their child victims are meticulous. They slowly work their way up to molesting them, and as these things happen they blame the child and tell the child that if they tell--bad things will happen. Their parents will split up; their siblings will be taken away. They make the child believe that they wanted the abuse. "Well, you didn't run away, you wanted this too!" They tell the child that no one will believe them. They threaten them into silence.
My therapist tells me that most women and men who are sexually abused as children--come to see him in their mid-30's and 40's. That's how long it takes for a person to come to grips with what has happened and unfreeze from the horror. Often, it takes years in therapy to unravel the huge amount of damage--that these perps will deny they ever caused. Meanwhile, statutes of limitation run out and evidence is nonexistent--if there was any to begin with.
I've sat in support groups and listened to so many stories. Fathers and stepfathers who were lawyers, doctors, accountants, construction workers, police officers--and they all molested their daughters and escaped accountability. Many victims confronted. Not one got any admission of guilt nor did they get an apology. They were all told that they were crazy, or liars. When I confronted, I just knew I would be the one to get an admission. After all--how could he deny REALITY. Nope. I got the same.
I am almost resigned about these horrible crimes, because I see no hope for justice. People don't believe the kids when they do tell. One kid has the courage to speak out against the horrendous juggernaut of fear that has been thrown on them by the perp--and people wave around stories about the McMartin preschool situation, "Well! Kids DO lie!" Because the mother in the family was probably sexually abused herself, she is unable to really help her child--and the abuse continues. If the child does grow up, escape and get therapy--he or she is faced with the fact that she has no proof and that she will probably not be believed. Most people in my support group were disowned by their families for talking.
My own siblings did the same to me. Never mind their suicide attempts, their eating disorders or their alcohol problems or the fact that my sister married an abusive man who held a gun to her head or the fact that one sibling used to injure himself, so he could do to the hospital and get away from our family. I'm now the problem. The ONE person who dared to speak the truth.
These perps--they've got it made. They know what they're doing. Everyone around them--and not just their innocent victims--are objects to be used, manipulated and charmed, like game pieces that they move around and handle in ways that best suit their particular needs.
It's sick. It's insidious. And this happens to one in four girls and one in seven boys. The monsters seem to have the upper hand in our society.
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