Man insists he didn't molest.

[justiceischeap]

11. I was in the same boat

When I finally got the courage to tell my parents at the age of 18, they told me it wasn't true, that I must have "misunderstood" my molester's intentions. The whole reason I finally got the courage to tell was that my molester was coming to visit us and would be staying in the house with me. I told my parents it was him or me. I ended up staying elsewhere. Then, years later, my molester gets convicted of molesting his step-daughters and as part of his "treatment" he was told he needed to apologize to all his victims. I refused to speak with him and I asked that the following message be passed on to him, "Though his apology may make him feel better about what he did, it will never erase what he did to me and the harm it continues to cause me to this day." When I call my parents my father often wants to tell me how my molester is doing even after I've told him I don't want to know or hear about him. These are the things that we have to go through and we're the one's that have been wronged and violated.

So when I see people use the excuses, "Kids lie," it makes me so angry because, though there are a very small minority of children that lie about this sort of thing, why would they continue to lie about it as an adult? Where is the gain in that action? It took me many years not to be embarrassed about being repeatedly molested--like it was somehow my fault that someone decided to rape me repeatedly and being told by my parents that it didn't happen when I finally told them... well, that has forever changed my relationship with them because I learned in that moment I couldn't trust them with anything. And my abuser did that to me too.

For those that want to argue about Dylan Farrow's accounts, keep my story in mind. Keep CoffeeCat's story in mind and think about the effects your written words have on people who have gone through this or know people who have gone through this. Is your need to win a debate so much more important that thinking about the feelings of people that may be reading your words? Do you have so little humanity that arguing your point is more important than showing some compassion.