Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

KJsMom

(8 posts)
60. Mother of postumously conceived child
Tue Mar 20, 2012, 12:35 PM
Mar 2012

I am the mother of a child conceived after my husband died. We planned for this child; my husband donated his sperm specifically to leave to me so that we could have a child. I did not even think about the social security benefits until after my child was born and someone asked me about them. I am currently appealing a denial in my own state and may or may not actually make it back to court depending on the Supreme Court ruling. When you do a will, you can leave property and other inheritance to grand children that are not even conceived yet, so why should my child be denied the benefits that his father paid in to his entire life and would want his son to have? For me, I feel like my son is being discriminated against because of the way he was conceived. My husband had to give me legal rights to use his sperm in the event of his death (he had brain cancer) and so he obviously consented to this child. I'm always surprised at the level of hostility from some people about this issue. There is only a hand full of children in this country conceived this way and that will always be the case. It's not as if giving them the social security benefits they deserve and their father's provided for them is going to increase the national debt or create a hardship for tax payers. I see denying these children what is rightfully theirs as discriminatory and, frankly, misogynistic. My child was not conceived through use of some anonymous sperm donor. He had a father who wanted him and would want him to have these benefits.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

I would think she is on her own Politicalboi Mar 2012 #1
And that is wrong, on so many levels....... Amaril Mar 2012 #4
Thank you Politicalboi Mar 2012 #9
If the intent of SSI is to assist the remaining parent with the care of children who GreenPartyVoter Mar 2012 #2
What if they were already embryos at the time of his death? Amaril Mar 2012 #12
I think it would set a bad precedent to designate an embryo as equivalent to a person. pnwmom Mar 2012 #19
because an embryo isn't a human being yet.. snooper2 Mar 2012 #56
No way. She made the decision to have the twins after her husband was gone. badtoworse Mar 2012 #3
Not factual, they planned kids together. FogerRox Mar 2012 #6
What difference does that make? badtoworse Mar 2012 #8
There is no proof of that. He stored the sperm when there was still hope pnwmom Mar 2012 #23
such judgement and misinformation KJsMom Mar 2012 #65
I am very sorry for your loss. But, as terrible as that loss has been for you, pnwmom Mar 2012 #72
Put the SS benefits aside, we agree. FogerRox Mar 2012 #104
Actually, per the article....... Amaril Mar 2012 #11
In the case of the deceased making provisions in a will,... badtoworse Mar 2012 #13
That's what she claims. How do you know it's true? pnwmom Mar 2012 #26
I think that once a person dies their frozen parts should be disposed of Marrah_G Mar 2012 #5
What about organ donation? hughee99 Mar 2012 #36
I'm sorry, I meant their reproductive parts Marrah_G Mar 2012 #77
If the rules say no then thats that FogerRox Mar 2012 #7
Maybe this is just me. I've had a child through in vitro woodsprite Mar 2012 #10
It will be perceived as cloudbase Mar 2012 #14
If you ask any of these Repuke's about it... Jello Biafra Mar 2012 #15
So are you accepting the Repubs argument that sperm and/or embryos pnwmom Mar 2012 #21
No I'm not....I think the whole thing is beyond ridiculous...... Jello Biafra Mar 2012 #47
I don't understand then why you said, "Yes, she's entitled." pnwmom Mar 2012 #54
I suffered from a case of sarcasm....my apologies......it happens when I see ridiculousness.... Jello Biafra Mar 2012 #97
I think it's inconsiderate to the child, to be conceived after the father's death. Quantess Mar 2012 #16
I think your comment is incredibly ill informed and judgemental KJsMom Mar 2012 #80
First of all, SSI has NOTHING to do with paternity. mysuzuki2 Mar 2012 #17
There is a significant difference. If a man uses in vitro while he is alive, there is pnwmom Mar 2012 #20
Sorry, but I disagree. DNA is DNA. mysuzuki2 Mar 2012 #28
The right-to-lifers and the anti-contraception people agree with you. pnwmom Mar 2012 #29
Suppose the man had donated his DNA-laden sperm to a sperm bank. pnwmom Mar 2012 #41
I think you ared creating false equivalencies here. mysuzuki2 Mar 2012 #45
How do you know he had any intention to have a baby created after his death? pnwmom Mar 2012 #46
Thank you, mysuzuki2 KJsMom Mar 2012 #79
I'm not gonna pretend I know the law OriginalGeek Mar 2012 #18
+1000 Mother Of Four Mar 2012 #22
Personally, Drahthaardogs Mar 2012 #40
"I am a little tired of paying for people's selfish choices." ScreamingMeemie Mar 2012 #57
Thank you! KJsMom Mar 2012 #69
Who says their needs won't be met? Would the woman have intentionally pnwmom Mar 2012 #43
Who knows? My SIL purposely got pregnant with no job, no home, and no degree. Snake Alchemist Mar 2012 #63
Any decision that said that sperm deposited before death pnwmom Mar 2012 #24
Will be even more interesting once cloning becomes possible. nt Snake Alchemist Mar 2012 #25
I've had personal experience with this. MoonchildCA Mar 2012 #27
Not true KJsMom Mar 2012 #83
Signature on a birth certificate would be proof. randome Mar 2012 #85
There are 3 signatures required on a CA birth certificate. MoonchildCA Mar 2012 #90
I'm gonna go with Yes. Iggo Mar 2012 #30
Does that mean you think that pnwmom Mar 2012 #31
What? Iggo Mar 2012 #32
There are lots of living, breathing children. badtoworse Mar 2012 #33
Yes there are. And who are these two children you think I'm thinking of? Iggo Mar 2012 #34
The twins who are the subject of the OP. Who else? pnwmom Mar 2012 #39
Isn't it equally valid to ask why these twins are less deserving than other children onenote Mar 2012 #87
All that existed at the time of his death was a vial of sperm. Not the twins. pnwmom Mar 2012 #37
Absolutely. Hatchling Mar 2012 #35
Why? Does the state give payments to all children who are born? pnwmom Mar 2012 #38
A point from Justice Ginsburg: what would happen with adopted children? muriel_volestrangler Mar 2012 #42
I'm amazed that so many people here don't see the slippery legal slope pnwmom Mar 2012 #44
Why isn't it also a slippery slope to give SSI benefits to a child born after the father dies onenote Mar 2012 #76
I have seen that very question used as an anti-abortion argument. pnwmom Mar 2012 #82
I get this is not the context, but the question arises quaker bill Mar 2012 #48
Depends! - Does the right wing perception that the egg or sperm is a person play into the decision? liberal N proud Mar 2012 #49
This is becoming a new rw Cadillac Welfare Queen meme for attacking social security. Warren Stupidity Mar 2012 #50
If we give the same legal status to a vial of sperm as to the child of the man who was born before pnwmom Mar 2012 #58
Even though you can biologically postdate parenthood, Vinca Mar 2012 #51
Great Big NO on This One RobinA Mar 2012 #52
Donate? She could sell it. pnwmom Mar 2012 #59
He may have planned for it....but he didn't participate in it at the time it occurred.... cbdo2007 Mar 2012 #53
Do you mean Social Security? That's SSA. randome Mar 2012 #55
"Planning to" is the operative phrase SoCalDem Mar 2012 #62
In a previous life, I worked for SSA. randome Mar 2012 #64
It would seem that logic would still set you onto a slippery slope. You are granting rights at TheKentuckian Mar 2012 #94
Mother of postumously conceived child KJsMom Mar 2012 #60
Good points. randome Mar 2012 #61
Thank you for posting. ceile Mar 2012 #67
Welcome to DU. William769 Mar 2012 #68
What it would do is undermine the whole system of contraception and abortion case law, pnwmom Mar 2012 #74
Wow KJsMom Mar 2012 #78
The child didn't exist at the time of your husband's death -- only the potential for a child, pnwmom Mar 2012 #84
Yes, you are. At the time of your husband's death, that is what survived him. Ikonoklast Mar 2012 #98
why doesn't giving benefits to a child who is born after the parent dies do the same thing? onenote Mar 2012 #81
But we are talking about current law, not a law that Congress could possibly write in the future. pnwmom Mar 2012 #86
Again, under current law a child that was only a fetus when a parent died onenote Mar 2012 #88
And that has been used as an anti-abortion argument. I think the argument would be much stronger pnwmom Mar 2012 #89
By that reasoning you are supporting an anti-abortion argument if you concede that a child that was onenote Mar 2012 #91
I think there is a good legal argument for having a child who was conceived before the death pnwmom Mar 2012 #92
Yikes! From a standpoint of protecting the right to choose onenote Mar 2012 #95
Then you should certainly be concerned about Capatu's interpretation of the social security law pnwmom Mar 2012 #96
Is there going to be a statute of limitations on this or can you wait 10 or 15 years and then Snake Alchemist Mar 2012 #66
Also, if you conceived via a sperm bank, but then found out the father had died would your child be Snake Alchemist Mar 2012 #70
??! KJsMom Mar 2012 #71
These are issues that would come up. nt Snake Alchemist Mar 2012 #73
What if a man willed his vial of sperm to a friend? Or to a couple of friends? pnwmom Mar 2012 #75
They do not disclose the identity of the donors. n/t cynatnite Mar 2012 #100
I think the government is right to deny benefits. Ganja Ninja Mar 2012 #93
Absolutely, yes! cynatnite Mar 2012 #99
So if you conceived via a a sperm bank you should be able to pursue child support. Snake Alchemist Mar 2012 #101
Sperm banks as a practice do not disclose identities of their donors... cynatnite Mar 2012 #102
Could get expensive for one guy if he had 100's, 1000's, 10,000's, of kids. nt Snake Alchemist Mar 2012 #103
Latest Discussions»General Discussion»Should a baby conceived b...»Reply #60