Dylan Farrow Responds to Woody Allen: 'Distortions and Outright Lies'

[cinnabonbon]

131. I believe that survivors deal with trauma in different ways

Last edited Sun Feb 9, 2014, 06:04 PM - Edit history (1)

and writing it out is very cathartic. Some just want to avoid it altogether. Trigger warnings can help other survivors from dealing with scenarios they don't want to be reminded of, so in a way that is an arrangement that ought to suit both, while doing the least harm. I do not think that saying 'survivors should be silent because it bothers others' will lead to anything constructive in our society. It might encourage others to take advantage of vulnerable people, because they know that others will encourage them to be silent afterwards.

I am not comfortable with the letters either, because they do not follow the social contract that I grew up with. They are rude. If she was lying, it would be dangerous. If he was lying, it would be dangerous. Society tells us all that we shouldn't be comfortable with women talking too loudly about being assaulted - they're probably lying, and they're rocking the boat, they're destroying his bright future etc. But I am working on dealing with my knee-jerk reactions, asking myself whether those ideas are rooted in fact and logic... Or if keeping people from talking about sexual assault is actually just maintaining a hierarchy of power, where the survivors are at the bottom. If so, who benefits from us wanting the alleged victim to stop writing about her past in public?

I don't think this case has much to do with Allen at all. if she had been molested by someone else, I think people would have reacted in the same way. Hell, if the victim had been someone else, I think a lot of us here would have wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt, because it sucks when survivors are treated like liars.

(ETA: Also! Since we both were uncomfortable with the letters, I looked online to see if anyone had broken some of them down so I'd be able to see why they bothered me. I only found someone who broke down Allen's letter, but she manages to catch some of the things that bothered me and point out why they're problematic. You might enjoy reading it, too!

http://freethoughtblogs.com/ashleymiller/2014/02/08/a-thorough-analysis-of-woody-allens-letter-in-the-nytimes/ )