I dare to write about: Men and Women Today

[BellaKos]

167. Seabeyond

Well, I knew this was all about that *other* thread. Actually, I'm pretty strict with language. Unfortunately, when people read what I write quickly, they don't pick up on the nuance of my writing. Not your fault. It's my thing. My husband complains about that, too. But if I had meant specifically the women on that thread, I would have written, "some women here, including the women on this thread."

I said later on that *other* thread, that I felt that I could make a connection between the emotional responses of women who lash out at men as a group or leap to conclusions about some random individual because women here have written about their prior abuse. People who vent anger for no apparent reason are usually suffering some sort of emotional discomfort. It's called: transference displacement. It's very common and certainly understandable -- especially among those who have suffered trauma.

The word, "damage," which seemed to make your blood boil, was a term I picked up from my step-father who has a masters degree in counseling. My fault. I had *assumed* that it was a technical term or at least was shorthand for a whole host of the psychological ills that victims experience. It worked for me. And as I have written. I am damaged. And I'm not ashamed of that.

You wrote:
" i honor their voice, however it is sung whether lashing out or in a whisper, with tears, anger or a smile of pure joy for the freedom of voice."

Well, la-de-effin' da! Now, you take the high road? Presenting yourself as one who is so sensitive to women's voices -- especially those who have suffered -- that you acknowledge and appreciate all that they say? A whisper? With tears?
Anger? Joy? Really?

Then you may be interested to know that your persistent badgering made me resort finally to mentioning my own past as evidence that I do know what the hell I'm talking about. And in writing about that -- the blood -- the injury -- remembering the rest of it -- I began to cry. And by the way, that's also very common among abuse victims, so restraint is always the best policy when dealing with strangers on the internet. Men and women. One never knows when a snarky, belligerent comment -- or when misunderstanding -- will trigger emotions among those of us who did not have a father who treated his daughter with respect.

Well, there you have it. You have tears from a woman whose voice you "honor."

So. You win. I am bad, wrong, stupid, condescending, inaccurate, and insulting -- especially to Miss Seabeyond who got her lil' feelings hurt when she misread what I had wrote.