IF you could do a Word Cloud of your childhood...what would show up LARGE?

[zazen]

81. weird that this OP is so triggering. . .

but I think it's nice that so many of you have positive or at least amusing memories.

I've always said and felt that I'd prefer death than returning to my childhood. I was 23 before I realized how uncommon that was. I assumed everyone felt that way. When you're a child, you have no sense of perspective, that it will ever end.

Doing this exercise is like going to the heart of Complex PTSD. It's like asking, what did your batterer say the most to you? Thankfully, I dissociated during most of it, so I can't do the exercise.

But honestly, it's so weird to see all of these fond memories. I have no conception what that would be like, except that I hope and pray that's how my children experience their childhoods. That's been my life's work. I think they have a healthy sense of humor about their eccentric mom's misguided but loving intensity and attempts to do it all "right." It's such a blessing to have a chance to do it differently, for them.

g'night. . .