I dare to write about: Men and Women Today

[BellaKos]

326. lumberjack_jeff

Well, I happen to like men.
Please indulge me for a minute.
Years ago, I had a year long friendship with a guy on a Rotary Scholarship from Denmark. We were great buddies and the friendship lasted for years even after he went back home. He -- for some reason or other (I suspect that it was because of the sociological construct in Denmark) -- behaved as if he had never even heard of the concept of gender roles or gender limitations. It was his natural, honest, unadulterated, unabashed, and true self. No lip-service; just plain actions. And from my perspective, it was a luxury, but I was spoiled from then on. Since I had *experienced* what true liberation felt like, I had very high standards that I demanded from relationships with men going forward. To this day, I have never felt the degree of freedom that I experienced with a person who genuinely had no concept of gender roles.

My brother, on the other hand, is an academic who would be the first to add his voice to feminism. He believes in it and will argue the point in great detail, citing all sorts of reasons, facts, studies, articles, and so on. But ... he assumes that because one is female, she needs protection from modern ills. Oh, it's quite subtle, but it aggravates me when he assumes that about me or his daughter. And his actions certainly contradict his rhetoric. I recall one Christmas Eve when his wife spent the day catching up on laundry, while he languished in front of the TV. At the time, both were professors in the same department in the same university so housework should have been shared to be fair. Neither of them saw the irony in the situation.

On the other hand, my oldest friend, who has been a fixture in my family since he was in the first grade, would not support the feminist position. He's very much a traditionalist. Well, in "theory." He treats me as an equal (knowing damn well that I don't need protection), supported his wife's career aspirations, and was actively involved with the household and childcare chores when they were married. His wife, who has now divorced three men, got everything he owned as well as child support. She also has gotten a house, child support, and cash from the two other men as well. It seems as if "marrying well" was her career rather than music as she has claimed. My friend was devastated by his bitter divorce not only financially, but also psychologically. It took him years to recover.

So, yes, I like men and understand that the entire issue of gender equality is complicated and ever-evolving.
Thanx.