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SummerSnow

(12,608 posts) Tue Feb 18, 2014, 10:41 PM Feb 2014

I came to the realization that my sister doesn't like my children. [View all]

I have 3 children. All girls. They are all adults now. I recently came to the realization that she doesn't like my children. Why? No clue. One of my children wad born with a birth defect. Had many surgeries and will have them throughout her life. My sister never visited her in the hospital when she was fighting for her life when she was a baby. Never visited her in the hospital or at home after her numerous surgeries. Never did the aunt thing and bought them my girls a rattle a pair of socks or a toy. However I watched her for over 20 years buy her friends babies gifts, go to baby showers etc.When we became homeless she wouldn't let us move in her huge house temporarily , but told me I need to go to a shelter. While in the shelter my daughter had a seizure and she wouldn't visit her or ask how she was doing when I told her what happened. She evaded the topic. Then I just recently found out that she told family members there was nothing wrong with my daughter , who had 18 surgeries and needs a machine to breathe. So I wrote her a lettter cutting her out my life .Best decision I ever made

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I came to the realization that my sister doesn't like my children. [View all] SummerSnow Feb 2014 OP

This is sad Harmony Blue Feb 2014 #1

thank you for your kind words SummerSnow Feb 2014 #4

We still can have empathy for those Harmony Blue Feb 2014 #6

I had a grandmother like that a bit. Your children will remember you roguevalley Feb 2014 #54

Quite a bit of information left out. How have you confronted her about it over the years Pretzel_Warrior Feb 2014 #2

When I would mention things to her ...for example... SummerSnow Feb 2014 #8

well, you know the situation far better than any of us could Pretzel_Warrior Feb 2014 #11

also I mentioned stuff over the years in the letter and she text me that I'm entitled to my feelings SummerSnow Feb 2014 #10

Sounds like your sister doesn't have ... 1StrongBlackMan Feb 2014 #34

She sounds like a sociopath - no empathy, sympathy, etc. kysrsoze Feb 2014 #55

omg, my sister is very narcisstic and shes anti-social.oh yeah shes an asshole too... SummerSnow Feb 2014 #68

Your sister sounds like my brother Courtesy Flush Feb 2014 #70

It sounds like you guys don't get along Dorian Gray Feb 2014 #3

I always thought we got along. We use to laugh and talk all the time. When I saw what was going SummerSnow Feb 2014 #5

I'm very sorry Dorian Gray Feb 2014 #9

I tried through the years but she manipulated my concerns and made me think I didn't know SummerSnow Feb 2014 #12

That is awful. LittleBlue Feb 2014 #7

I am sorry about that, nadinbrzezinski Feb 2014 #13

Been there, done that YarnAddict Feb 2014 #14

Thank you for sharing . I thought about my decision and I realize that it was best for my SummerSnow Feb 2014 #16

That's exactly the way I felt. YarnAddict Feb 2014 #22

I feel your pain. My long-deceased father taught my older sister that it was OK to be mean to me. raccoon Feb 2014 #73

We may have been the victims, but YarnAddict Feb 2014 #75

Does your sister have children of her own? Tx4obama Feb 2014 #15

no children. But she broke up with her boyfriend cause he was a doting dad to SummerSnow Feb 2014 #21

Well that seems to be a huge part of your answer there. It's not just your kids, it's all kids. Tx4obama Feb 2014 #24

Some people need to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral. haele Feb 2014 #48

I think you nailed it. Complete self-absorption kysrsoze Feb 2014 #56

Love that phrase! And the rest, spot on too. bettyellen Feb 2014 #65

Sounds like narcissism to me. nt raccoon Feb 2014 #74

Out of curiosity, Jenoch Feb 2014 #17

never married, no children SummerSnow Feb 2014 #23

Yours is a sad story, Jenoch Feb 2014 #25

As someone wise once said...you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family... pkdu Feb 2014 #18

+1. Some families are made of blood and some are made of friendship. riderinthestorm Feb 2014 #20

You may have done the right thing for you, Curmudgeoness Feb 2014 #19

Some people, even close relatives, think they are above others. Lint Head Feb 2014 #26

Wow, I am so sorry. There is nothing... TeeYiYi Feb 2014 #27

That shocked me too.I can't imagine ever doing such a thing. Auntie Bush Feb 2014 #40

Did you get along as sisters before you had the children? nt Sarah Ibarruri Feb 2014 #28

yes, we were alright. She seemed to have behaved as if my children never existed. SummerSnow Feb 2014 #36

How strange, Summersnow. Sarah Ibarruri Feb 2014 #39

I won't begin to go into the stunts my sister pulled on me. She's a bagger now. Toxic. You did the freshwest Feb 2014 #29

Oh wow.. how Cha Feb 2014 #30

I am so very sorry SummerSnow. nt sheshe2 Feb 2014 #31

as an old song goes, "better off without you, better off without you, I'm better off without you in Douglas Carpenter Feb 2014 #32

On a related note, my two girls (17 and 22) indie9197 Feb 2014 #33

... handmade34 Feb 2014 #35

I'm sorry about your Mother Handmade. Auntie Bush Feb 2014 #44

I understand perfectly how you feel... virgdem Feb 2014 #37

''Everything in life, is a lesson.'' - K&R DeSwiss Feb 2014 #38

You have every right to cut off a toxic family member. You did right. kairos12 Feb 2014 #41

She Might Be a Psychopath BodieTown Feb 2014 #42

I think you mean sociopath. Xithras Feb 2014 #58

I Use the Words Interchangeably BodieTown Feb 2014 #67

The line is fine, and it doesn't really matter. Xithras Feb 2014 #69

As someone whose only sibling... 3catwoman3 Feb 2014 #43

My situation may be different from yours, but my brother's wife makes it nearly impossible Lex Feb 2014 #45

My sister does this sometimes. bravenak Feb 2014 #46

yes. set yourself free. Whisp Feb 2014 #47

Family relations can be painful at times. Rozlee Feb 2014 #49

My sister wrote me off 30 yrs ago. KentuckyWoman Feb 2014 #50

There are people in your life who love you and your children. proudretiredvet Feb 2014 #51

Good riddance. Deep13 Feb 2014 #52

I've got parents who don't seem very fond of my kids. Common Sense Party Feb 2014 #53

Very sorry about that. I just can't understand it. I don't think anyone can. kysrsoze Feb 2014 #57

Wow. Going through same situation this week Citizen Seattle Feb 2014 #59

You're not co-dependent or enabling. You understand societal norms and try to keep the peace kysrsoze Feb 2014 #60

Family ("blood") doesn't necessarily mean caring for family. raven mad Feb 2014 #61

Psychologist told me long ago..... Glitterati Feb 2014 #62

I've lived by a rule an older TBF Feb 2014 #63

Denial feeds on itself. The more they deny, the more they need to, and the more they need to KurtNYC Feb 2014 #64

Now that you know know, and have stopped making excuses for her bettyellen Feb 2014 #66

I don't call that a sister. 4_TN_TITANS Feb 2014 #71

You can pick your friends, but not your family Rider3 Feb 2014 #72

A better idea for a narcissist is to write the letter but not send it. Warpy Feb 2014 #76

My life is great. She has to deal with her own demons. SummerSnow Feb 2014 #79

I'm sorry for your sister - it's her loss Glorfindel Feb 2014 #77

I can't stand my 2 daughters in law riverwalker Feb 2014 #78