Americans love to eat. They are fatally attracted to the slow-death of fast food. Hot dogs, corn dogs, triple bacon cheeseburgers, deep-fried, butter-dipped in pork fat and cheesewhiz, mayonnaise, soaked barbecue, mozzarella patty melts. Americans will eat anything. Anything. ANYTHING. Shit, if you were selling sautéed raccoons assholes on a stick, Americans would buy them and eat them! Especially if you were to dip them in butter and put a little salsa on them! This country is big-time pig time. Forget Star-Spangled Banner. You know what the national anthem of this country outta be? The Oscar-Meyer Commercial Jingle! And while we're at it, change the bald eagle to a big bowl of macaroni and cheese. A BIG BOWL. Cause everything in this country is king size, extra large and SUPER JUMBO. Especially the ****ing people!
Have you seen some of the people in this country? Have you taken a good look at some of these big, fat mother****ers walking around? Big fat mother-****ers! Oh, my God. Huge piles of redundant protoplasm lumbering through the malls like a fleet of interstate buses. The people in this country are immense. Massive bellies, monstrous thighs, and big fat ****ing asses!!! Next time you're in the vicinity of one of these creatures, stand there for a minute and observe. And if you stand there for a minute you'll begin to wonder, "How does this woman take a shit?" How does she shit? And more frightening still, how does she wipe her ass? Can she even locate her asshole? She must require assistance. Are paramedics trained in this field?
Standing right next to her, of course, with a plateful of nachos and a mouthful of pie is her clueless ****ing husband, Joe Six-pack. With his monstrous swollen beer belly hanging dangerously out over his belt buckle, this guy hasn't seen his dick since the Nixon Administration. And if you stand there and you watch the two of them as they're stuffing their faces, you begin to wonder, "Do these people ****?" Is this man actually capable of ****ing this woman? It doesn't seem structurally possible that these two people could achieve penetration. Maybe they're in that Cirque Du Soleil or something.
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