So Sick Of This Gender Wars Bullshit

[Prophet 451]

20. Hmm

I used the term "gender war" since that seems to have become the accepted term here for the constant barrage of threads concenred with whether X or Y is or isn't sexist/misogynist/misandrist. I do take your point about the connotations of the word though, that's something I hadn't considered.

This isn't specifically about the SI thing. It's more about a seemingly endless stream of threads about... Trying to think of a good way to explain it... You know how conservative Christians are offended by everything? How they're perpetually outraged because they think the world spends as long looking for ways to offend them as they do looking for excuses to be offended? The constant drumbeat of "we're so victimised"? That's how these threads tend to come across. As this self-perpetuating fount of outrage where if you disagree on anything at all, you're instantly labelled sexist/misogynist (see the poster a couple above you). There's also the perception that a lot of responses to these threads come across, rightly or wrongly, as anti-men. Posters feel free to make blanket condemnations of men and if you as a man point out that it isn't true of you, you're condemned for "making it all about you". I'm not going to post examples because now that I need them, I won't be able to find any but I have seen this happen. Of course, as an anonymous poster on a website, you have no reason to believe me, I get that.

These threads don't come off as "discussion". They come off as a place for people to tell each other how outraged they are, post trite "right on!" sayings, engage in simplistic buzzwords about complex problems and condemn anyone who dares to disagree. It comes across like the audience at a witch trial.

Of course, I believe in equality for all. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. And I'm a bisexual Satanist of mixed race, I'd be first on the pyre if the fundiegelicals get their way. But I think a lot of these threads cross the line of becoming more heat and less light, more outrage and condemnation. One I remember started by telling a story about some horrific abuse of a woman and, in the middle of that, suddenly started blaming the whole thing on porn. And instantly, we've gone from sympathising with this poor woman to pushing a pretty radical hobbyhorse and, of course, if you don't agree with that condemnation of porn, you must not sympathise with this woman. There's a point where these threads go from being sharing something for information or sympathy, to just being a bludgeon to beat people who disagree.

Yes, there is still far too much real sexism in the world. Yes, a site like DU should be helping to fight that. But when we have thread after thread about this stuff, somewhere along the line, it stops being about fighting injustice and starts being about finding excuses to feel outraged just for the nice self-righteous feeling it gives you.

Anyway, that was somewhat rambling and I'm not sure it made sense but that's how I'm feeling about it.