I don't understand the gender wars but divide and rule usually works

[geek tragedy]

17. Because misogynist garbage is openly tolerated and deemed within community standards

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4531662

Feminists have this theory, and they have had it for a while, that I am a potential rapist due to the fact I was born with a penis. Why not just drop the potential and go ahead and call me a rapist? After all, that is what they want to do. All I can do is just shake my head, because no, I am not a rapist. I am not a potential rapist. The fact that they even think I am and give rather loud voice to that thought should have been enough, but then I was a fool.

I used to be the very definition of a "White Knight". I used to defend all women and all women and their behavior. I had a string of girlfriends that cheated on me. I blamed myself. I thought I wasn't being attentive enough to their needs. Then I managed to hang on long enough to get married to one. Oh, the end all, be all, of being a proper adult male, eh? She cheated on me, maxed all my credit cars, lied to a judge and got a restraining order against me, had me thrown out of my own house, and then asked for alimony, funny thing is she had a better paying job than me by then. I didn't learn my lesson. A couple more girlfriends, and I got cheated on a couple of more times. The last one got a hold of my credit cards and maxed them out. She served a year in jail over that, I finally learned.

There is "defending women" and there is defending women. Now, I support equality, true equality, but be careful what you wish for.

Why should I defend, or tolerate, childish or bratty behavior out of a woman? Why should I defend, or tolerate, any behavior out of a woman that I would never tolerate out of a man? Why should I believe it was rape when she went to his apartment, left happy, and got upset when he didn't call a couple of days later? Why would I pretend to like a woman who displays no feminine qualities? Why would I pretend that I am even remotely attracted to an obese woman? Why should a woman with no major responsibilities working in a comfortable office make the same as a guy, or rarely a woman, engaged in hard, dirty, and dangerous work?

You can try to answer any question in the above paragraph, or all of them as you choose. Ever since I decided to approach the world like it is and not as I wish it was, no feminist or white knight has ever come close to giving a good answer. Remember, I used to be a fellow traveler with feminists, I know all the answers.

I will still get the door for a woman. I will still offer to help a woman that is carrying a heavy load. I will not defend a woman with a mouth like a sailor, or who sleeps around, or a woman who works in an office and consumes 3500 calories a day, those are behavioral issues, and I am not a psychologist. I am not saying she can't do whatever she wants, I am saying I will not leap to the defense of those behaviors or tolerate them out of a woman in a relationship with me.

If a woman expects to me to pay for a roof over her head or a new car, she is sadly mistaken. If she thinks we still have a relationship and we haven't had sex in more than three days, without good reason, she's gone. If she interferes with my work, at all, she's gone. Those are ironclad boundaries, if she does not respect them, she does not respect me. I have had a few try them, they all found out I was serious.

Honestly, I may sound like an ass nowadays, but the quality and quantity of women I attract are so much better than what I had in the past. I miss the notion of marriage. It is closed off to me. Modern society has rendered marriage toxic for men.

While we have posters like this raging woman-hater, and the jurors who decided that yes this is the kind of post they'd like to see at DU, there will continue to be gender wars.

You want to end 'the gender wars?" Start taking misogyny seriously, and stop treating objections to misogyny here as a distraction. Because, if we tolerate it here, that means we tolerate it everywhere.