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demwing

(16,916 posts)

86. No one wants to join? Think again..

Reply to Aristus (Reply #60)

Mon Feb 24, 2014, 06:59 PM

Feb 2014

Last edited Tue Feb 25, 2014, 09:40 AM - Edit history (1)

The LDS Church is one of the fastest growing Churches in the US.

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Not the Onion: Mormons Declare War on Masturbation [View all] LongTomH Feb 2014 OP

lol, boxing gloves as sleep wear. loli phabay Feb 2014 #1

.... Cha Feb 2014 #123

Bunch of jerks. riqster Feb 2014 #2

You're very clever with words riqster Auntie Bush Feb 2014 #9

A real master debator. nt awoke_in_2003 Feb 2014 #76

Those Mormons shouldn't jerk people around like this. LeftofObama Feb 2014 #26

Agreed. They speak of soldiers, but neglect the seamen. riqster Feb 2014 #29

This whole sordid tale makes me want to cry so I reached beside the bed for a Kleenex, LeftofObama Feb 2014 #33

... Sweet Freedom Feb 2014 #58

That's a bit dipsydoodle Feb 2014 #3

Out of hand, too, perhaps. riqster Feb 2014 #8

Definety... daleanime Feb 2014 #34

Like being waked up by obscene phone callers. The ones who called late at night with: freshwest Feb 2014 #71

Best. Reply. Ever. riqster Feb 2014 #74

A friend had a very persistent one. Where we worked, we had to have our home numbers listed. freshwest Feb 2014 #87

Brilliant. riqster Feb 2014 #88

Count me in as part of the Resistance to this! joeybee12 Feb 2014 #4

active resistance perhaps loli phabay Feb 2014 #6

I won't sleep until the enemy has been 'beaten"... joeybee12 Feb 2014 #7

I see you have the situation in hand, loli phabay Feb 2014 #15

Let's form a group: "Folks Against Prudes." 1000words Feb 2014 #31

You wins the Internets!!!! riqster Feb 2014 #36

if you're crazy enough to fall for their other comedy gold, you might fall for this one NightWatcher Feb 2014 #5

In the argot of the addict, they'll beat it, cold jerky . . . Journeyman Feb 2014 #10

In my experience, ignoring a masturbating roommate is the polite thing to do Tom Ripley Feb 2014 #11

Unless they want you to join in too! wocaonimabi Feb 2014 #20

There is that. Tom Ripley Feb 2014 #23

Well, the PSA DOES say to "Reach out in the spirit of love" pinboy3niner Feb 2014 #32

Should have been "stop in the name of love". riqster Feb 2014 #37

Then again, you may be milking this joke for too much. nt pinboy3niner Feb 2014 #47

Well, spurts fans, that's how the balls bounce, I guess. riqster Feb 2014 #49

I saw your name and can't resist given the subject.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Feb 2014 #73

Perfect! Tom Ripley Feb 2014 #85

That is creepy davidpdx Feb 2014 #125

The polite thing to do is do it in private. Auntie Bush Feb 2014 #79

Huh. Let us know how that works out for y'all. nt Zorra Feb 2014 #12

Usual asnwer to this is dipsydoodle Feb 2014 #13

lol, yup its my Willie. loli phabay Feb 2014 #16

So their view is I see myself as a sex object? The Straight Story Feb 2014 #14

depends if you close your eyes or have the lights on loli phabay Feb 2014 #18

"Put a helmet on that soldier!!!" Iggo Feb 2014 #17

LMAO Solly Mack Feb 2014 #19

The sad irony is: This is the type of shit my generation was fed growing up. LongTomH Feb 2014 #21

Yeah, good luck with that. nt Deep13 Feb 2014 #22

But these views must be respected... Egalitarian Thug Feb 2014 #24

respected, then ignored and laughed at. loli phabay Feb 2014 #43

But they speak for the invisible man in the sky that needs money... Egalitarian Thug Feb 2014 #50

ive always thought that you can respect peoples views no matter how nuts but disagree with it loli phabay Feb 2014 #54

If only they would keep their sick fantasies to themselves. Egalitarian Thug Feb 2014 #55

yup as long as people dont force others i got no problem with their nuttiness. loli phabay Feb 2014 #57

I have no respect for those views. Vashta Nerada Feb 2014 #89

Oh, I suppose a 'libertarian' like you would just LET people masturbate. Warren DeMontague Feb 2014 #116

Cum on ... we can beat this thing! 1000words Feb 2014 #25

Worst. Roommates. Ever. Warren DeMontague Feb 2014 #27

Except that it never once mentions masturbation. Common Sense Party Feb 2014 #28

Sigh!!! Read the article again: LongTomH Feb 2014 #42

That's from the Boy Scout manual, from what I read. Common Sense Party Feb 2014 #44

Read again! It's from the Mormon pamphlet! LongTomH Feb 2014 #51

Gotcha, I missed that. I saw the video posted elsewhere the other week, Common Sense Party Feb 2014 #62

Except it was made in reaction to a BYU-I speech this year and from the March Ensign of THIS year FreeState Feb 2014 #75

"normal toilet processes"... awoke_in_2003 Feb 2014 #80

Sounds like things are getting out of hand with the Mormons. Rex Feb 2014 #30

Well, then! It's all hands on... KansDem Feb 2014 #35

Don't forget: Earth_First Feb 2014 #38

So I'm going to hell temporary311 Feb 2014 #40

lol, and he seems to approve, so soldier on. loli phabay Feb 2014 #45

While reading suggestion #5... skypilot Feb 2014 #39

Is this part of a recruitment campaign? Seems counter-intuitive. Shrike47 Feb 2014 #41

Someone have a really interesting missionary roommate? Coyotl Feb 2014 #46

And black rubbers for their shoes! riqster Feb 2014 #52

If this post isn't a satire, it should be. nt ladjf Feb 2014 #48

like this? central scrutinizer Feb 2014 #103

Well, guess I'll have to turn myself in Blue Owl Feb 2014 #53

Marry young, have lots of kids. hunter Feb 2014 #56

Gotta hand it to them, they don't go for the soft targets! n/t TygrBright Feb 2014 #59

*** Warren DeMontague Feb 2014 #105

No wonder Mormons are encouraged to have, like, 15 kids, Aristus Feb 2014 #60

No one wants to join? Think again.. demwing Feb 2014 #86

due to high birth rate. defacto7 Feb 2014 #96

Got any data on that? demwing Feb 2014 #98

I admit I spoke loosely... defacto7 Feb 2014 #118

Nope.. but here are some facts though.... defacto7 Feb 2014 #121

My point is not whether the Mormons ranked #1 demwing Feb 2014 #129

In this comment, you did refute the commenter's claim defacto7 Feb 2014 #131

This anti masturbation thing is getting out of hand. bravenak Feb 2014 #61

Are They Trying to Put "The Onion" Out Of Business? colsohlibgal Feb 2014 #63

They misunderstand Token Republican Feb 2014 #64

The Mormon magic underwear doesn't set up a protective force field? tanyev Feb 2014 #65

I can only imagine the "research" TBF Feb 2014 #67

Burn my draft card!!!!!!! Cofitachequi Feb 2014 #66

I'm alright with this. NuclearDem Feb 2014 #68

But what about those that squeeze the banana?? madinmaryland Feb 2014 #112

They're stealing Christine O'Donnell's signature issue! Warren DeMontague Feb 2014 #69

What is the 'great war'? Kingofalldems Feb 2014 #70

Satan versus Jesus for Dominion of Planet Earth as the First Step to a Galactic Empire? freshwest Feb 2014 #72

I guess there are some things that just Jackpine Radical Feb 2014 #77

Tugging Private Ryan... Blue Idaho Feb 2014 #78

Ryan's Privates. WinkyDink Feb 2014 #100

OMG - that is masterful Blue Idaho Feb 2014 #113

:-) WinkyDink Feb 2014 #128

"The Lord segregated the Negro and who is man to change that segregation?" jsr Feb 2014 #81

I sure hope the Santorum gang does not catch on to this , sex only for reasons of procreation and Thinkingabout Feb 2014 #82

These morons are comparing natural human sexuality with nadinbrzezinski Feb 2014 #83

OK, that's it. progressoid Feb 2014 #84

So has the Hall Of Fame. pintobean Feb 2014 #90

They need to stop, they probably masturbate themselves into a coma SummerSnow Feb 2014 #91

If you are going to interrupt me ... JoePhilly Feb 2014 #92

Next Mormon you come accross ask if they are the master of their own domain wocaonimabi Feb 2014 #93

They're nuts. defacto7 Feb 2014 #94

Found this on Pinterest the other day spinbaby Feb 2014 #95

That would do it! Enthusiast Feb 2014 #97

The Christian fear and obsession with sex has repeatedly resulted in barbarisms like this..... LongTomH Feb 2014 #130

Kim B. Clark is clearly A PERV. Because to think like this? Yep. WinkyDink Feb 2014 #99

There's some pretty serious religious sickness going on in this country. n/t RKP5637 Feb 2014 #101

Get married because you're so horny you can't stand it. Manifestor_of_Light Feb 2014 #102

OMG I'm a sinner i tell you, I'm going to hell, I'm a sinner! I wear nothing at night, never RKP5637 Feb 2014 #104

Jacking is a point of pride warrprayer Feb 2014 #106

Can't wait to hear the tabernacle choir sing the manifesto tune for this movement.... MADem Feb 2014 #107

1984 is calling these morons easychoice Feb 2014 #108

Love Cindi Lauper. She's crazy in a good way!! Manifestor_of_Light Feb 2014 #122

What kind of jackoffs would write this? muntrv Feb 2014 #109

We all pull a boner, now and again. 1000words Feb 2014 #110

OMG. pacalo Feb 2014 #111

I guess I'm in big trouble in the eyes of the Mormons. Packerowner740 Feb 2014 #114

Ahahahahahaha! shanti Feb 2014 #115

Mr. Clark certainly has... 3catwoman3 Feb 2014 #117

Some people sure love to stand on the beach Warren DeMontague Feb 2014 #119

I don't see a problem here Omnith Feb 2014 #120

Why don't they just hand out straight jackets for bed time? davidpdx Feb 2014 #124

I single-handedly struggle with my addiction to masturbation! Behind the Aegis Feb 2014 #126

"The pleasure of living and the pleasure of the orgasm are identical. TM99 Feb 2014 #127