General Discussion

DebJ

(7,699 posts)

146. Until the facts come out in court, it is waaayyy to early to judge this.

Tue Mar 4, 2014, 09:51 AM

Mar 2014

Once Rachel 'alleged' abuse, the school was required to report that information to protective
services. There might have been abuse, or not.

There were also statements to the effect that Rachel had been seeing a therapist and was
supposed to be taking medications, but was not doing so.

I raised a son with bipolar, and let me tell you, when you are dealing with someone who
can argue non-stop for over 12 hours at the top of their lungs, yep, some names get slung
around, until/unless you learn to accept that when a person's brain is in that mode, arguing
with them is doing nothing but escalating the situation. There is no way anyone can outlast
in energy or effort the biochemical, neurological forces motivating someone with bipolar
who is in a rage. And they always feel in the right and persecuted.

I'm not saying Rachel has bipolar, though. I'm just saying, we don't know the facts.

Just like my description above, most of the DUers commenting on this story are drawing
from THEIR life experiences, NOT from Rachel's, because there isn't a full presentation
of facts. Just a news story written with JUST enough information to get everyone
tantalized enough to comment.

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18 year old sues parents for kicking her out and not paying her tuition [View all] davidn3600 Mar 2014 OP

Why can't she just stick it out until June when she's off to College? bravenak Mar 2014 #1

We are only getting the parents' side of the story here. Mariana Mar 2014 #7

Yeah. bravenak Mar 2014 #11

Thing is, at 18 they don't legally owe her anything... Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #12

She's SOL, unless there's something we don't know about. Mariana Mar 2014 #15

I think she is SOL. I think the lawsuit is based on claiming that she's not "really" emancipated. Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #24

"College fund" jberryhill Mar 2014 #69

OTOH, federal law doesn't allow a college student to get financial aid pnwmom Mar 2014 #75

That's what I was thinking. I didn't get to go to college DebJ Mar 2014 #142

I don't agree. I think families should get along and adults and support be given lovingly Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #176

Is this new? PasadenaTrudy Mar 2014 #181

Not new, has been around since the 90s tammywammy Mar 2014 #190

A few things... davidn3600 Mar 2014 #14

I doubt she has a case with the college fund tammywammy Mar 2014 #17

Depends on the type of college fund. Chan790 Mar 2014 #50

That has never been my understanding about 529 plans. Common Sense Party Mar 2014 #56

529 is owned by the parents joeglow3 Mar 2014 #58

Yes, but there are penalties if the 529 is not used for tuition. liberal_at_heart Mar 2014 #59

Correct. Or they could roll it to another 529 joeglow3 Mar 2014 #62

Absolutely! nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #191

Yup, since there are tax consequences, of course. nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #189

Look up the NJ College Tuition savings plan. The beneficiary has no say in it. nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #193

That depends (about her college tuition plan). The tuition plans are in the possession and Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #23

Not if they put it in a Uniform Gift to Minors account. If they did, it belongs to her, pnwmom Mar 2014 #99

Certainly. However, the preponderance are owned by the person who opened the account Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #173

Actually, the parents CAN control that to some extent WolverineDG Mar 2014 #25

Depends on the type of college fund. Chan790 Mar 2014 #51

Wrong. joeglow3 Mar 2014 #60

It depends on how they gifted it. If it is a Uniform Gift to Minors Account, they'll be stuck. pnwmom Mar 2014 #97

Not true. joeglow3 Mar 2014 #141

Not the case. It continues to be an asset of the parents. nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #195

She doesn't get to college without high school jberryhill Mar 2014 #70

And besides, any private school requires parents to sign enrollment contracts in the spring. pnwmom Mar 2014 #109

The tuition payment is a matter between the school and the parents. DebJ Mar 2014 #144

I don't see how there is any legal case here treestar Mar 2014 #164

actually the original article includes quotes from the girls court documents TeamPooka Mar 2014 #89

It doesn't matter, she is 18, WTF the court is wasting time on this who knows snooper2 Mar 2014 #172

It's that sense of entitlement parents have allowed kids to have... Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #27

Well, they need to cut it out. bravenak Mar 2014 #28

It could well be their fault. Maybe they spoiled her rotten. Who knows, right? Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #34

We agree!!!! joeglow3 Mar 2014 #63

woohoo!! That calls for a celebration! Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #179

I know jberryhill Mar 2014 #71

great quote from the big article... TeamPooka Mar 2014 #90

You missed some key information. pnwmom Mar 2014 #101

Her Mother called her a foul name? blueamy66 Mar 2014 #115

I think it was more than that. They also witnessed an interaction between the father, pnwmom Mar 2014 #116

You make good points get the red out Mar 2014 #139

And sometimes even CPS gets bamboozled by a surface veneer, since they can see pnwmom Mar 2014 #202

pnwmom, the only 'flag' I see is that school's are terrified of DebJ Mar 2014 #148

I agree that we don't know all the facts. That's why I think too many people here pnwmom Mar 2014 #201

Until the facts come out in court, it is waaayyy to early to judge this. DebJ Mar 2014 #146

"some difficult meetings" Nuclear Unicorn Mar 2014 #169

A "rough encounter"? Jake Stern Mar 2014 #200

That quote is from the father. Mariana Mar 2014 #175

It sure appears that way! It's not the first nor the last time this sort of thing happens. nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #178

It's the sense of entitlement these parents have, pnwmom Mar 2014 #98

I'm sure they'll pay the private school, and ought to. Private schools rely on their tuition. nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #177

We don't know the whole story, do we? pnwmom Mar 2014 #74

That's why it was a question. bravenak Mar 2014 #93

I bet her lawyer is arguing that her college account was a "Uniform Gift to Minors" account, pnwmom Mar 2014 #94

I think she has been fortunate in her lifestyle if not her parents. bravenak Mar 2014 #104

When you have a Uniform Gift to Minors account, one of the parents can be a "custodian." pnwmom Mar 2014 #105

I really hope that's the case. bravenak Mar 2014 #213

I'm so glad it worked out for you in the long run, but what a horrible story. pnwmom Mar 2014 #214

wow... you're an amazing person renate Mar 2014 #241

It was worse for her than it could ever be for me. bravenak Mar 2014 #245

Very true. Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #196

True and this is obviously being used treestar Mar 2014 #166

She is of age of majority and can be shown the door by her parents. Nika Mar 2014 #2

She's still in high school though kcr Mar 2014 #13

Maybe the private high school bill as they TBF Mar 2014 #19

The girl isn't out of luck with regard to the tuition. Her parents are. pnwmom Mar 2014 #102

I believe that's what I said??? TBF Mar 2014 #125

You said "maybe" which meant to me that you weren't very sure. pnwmom Mar 2014 #127

Ah, I see - TBF Mar 2014 #133

It might be a little more complicated than that. Hassin Bin Sober Mar 2014 #21

May actually be a contract law case with the school tuition. JimDandy Mar 2014 #37

agree. I think breach of promise is part of contract law. Hassin Bin Sober Mar 2014 #42

Provided there was not expectations in return for that promise joeglow3 Mar 2014 #65

No. The contract is the one the parents signed with the school. pnwmom Mar 2014 #100

Never had that at any of our schools joeglow3 Mar 2014 #143

But the school is allowing Rachel to continue to attend, so there is no 'detriment' for her DebJ Mar 2014 #151

I'm sure it is a contract law case. The parents would have signed a contract last spring pnwmom Mar 2014 #96

if she hasn't even graduated high school yet qazplm Mar 2014 #251

Yeah, but they can't steal any money they already gifted to her pnwmom Mar 2014 #95

the friend's father is an attorney. that explains most of it. $$$ nt msongs Mar 2014 #3

I imagine he wants the girl out of his house too Scootaloo Mar 2014 #4

He's not making money, he's spending money. pnwmom Mar 2014 #124

Asking for legal fees. NCTraveler Mar 2014 #149

Her parents called his kid "a bad influence" and probably a lot of other stuff KurtNYC Mar 2014 #160

This is what happens when spoiled brats get lawyers. Squinch Mar 2014 #5

Squinch, there's another side to this story, which I believe, pnwmom Mar 2014 #103

I can't get to page 2 at that link. blueamy66 Mar 2014 #117

In the Daily Mail article, the father says the girl is alleging emotional and physical abuse. pnwmom Mar 2014 #118

I agree that the school should be paid. blueamy66 Mar 2014 #119

The girl is alleging physical and emotional abuse -- according to her father. pnwmom Mar 2014 #120

Like I said, I couldn't past page 1 at the link blueamy66 Mar 2014 #122

The father's statement about physical abuse was in the Daily Mail article. pnwmom Mar 2014 #123

You're right. At 18 she is no longer CPS' problem OR blueamy66 Mar 2014 #132

How do you know her parents weren't abusive? Why were so many people pnwmom Mar 2014 #138

What does that have to do with her court case? blueamy66 Mar 2014 #140

Why do you think that her parents 'ethically' should pay for college? kiva Mar 2014 #168

In general, I don't think that it is a parent's moral obligation. blueamy66 Mar 2014 #180

Or the school was just DebJ Mar 2014 #154

Not the Onion? I'm surprised. nt MrScorpio Mar 2014 #6

Wow, scum bag lawyers. Spoiled brat it sounds like to me. nt Logical Mar 2014 #8

yeah, you'll diss lawyers until they come after Big Bread Sticks, then let's see how fast you change dionysus Mar 2014 #46

Well, the girl has deadbeat parents. They think that an argument with their daughter pnwmom Mar 2014 #106

I thought you wanted to reserve judgment? demwing Mar 2014 #145

That part is pretty cut and dried. The parents aren't disputing the fact that pnwmom Mar 2014 #222

"the girl has deadbeat parents" NCTraveler Mar 2014 #153

They signed a legal contract to pay the tuition and they have the financial means to do so. pnwmom Mar 2014 #223

deadbeat parents? WTF? TorchTheWitch Mar 2014 #221

Way to overreact! The parents don't owe HER a private education. They owe THE SCHOOL the tuition pnwmom Mar 2014 #225

I didn't overlook a damn thing TorchTheWitch Mar 2014 #230

No, the school has said the parents haven't honored the contract. pnwmom Mar 2014 #242

You put into words exactly what I was thinking. Jake Stern Mar 2014 #240

Thank you TorchTheWitch Mar 2014 #244

lawyers can't just make up cases treestar Mar 2014 #167

You know that is a wide wide range. nt Logical Mar 2014 #185

Seems to me like the boyfriend's lawyer father is a big a-hole madaboutharry Mar 2014 #9

Best friend's father, not boyfriend. n/t tammywammy Mar 2014 #10

OK..Then... her best friend's lawyer father is a big a-hole madaboutharry Mar 2014 #16

I think he might be a hero. pnwmom Mar 2014 #107

Having worked in a volatile middle-school for a year, I can say that DebJ Mar 2014 #155

She's probably a real piece of work. Oh, the problems of the rich..................... kestrel91316 Mar 2014 #18

Why are so many here automatically assuming there isn't another side to this story? pnwmom Mar 2014 #108

+100 Jefferson23 Mar 2014 #136

People are entitled to their opinion. Particularly on a discussion board. kestrel91316 Mar 2014 #250

Apparently, she took her sister's belongings and wouldn't give them back... Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #20

Interesting that the administration at her school Mariana Mar 2014 #29

Well, the article explains that the parents ceased paying for her high school the moment she Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #31

And with her own cop! jberryhill Mar 2014 #73

The school has no motivation to alienate the parents. They will get their tuition money pnwmom Mar 2014 #112

Not only that -- they advised the girl not to go home pnwmom Mar 2014 #111

Of course they don't have anything negative to say. Doing that would be quite foolhardy DebJ Mar 2014 #157

We don't know what the CPS said. We know what the father CLAIMED they said. pnwmom Mar 2014 #110

"How long do parents have to pay for someone to party-party-party?" yellowcanine Mar 2014 #184

I agree on the high school, though there are plenty of public schools around, and I think their Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #188

I bet breaking up with the boyfriend is the big thing her parents are demanding gollygee Mar 2014 #22

Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, at 18, that's "too long in the tooth" to demand support. Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #26

I can't image how she'd have any legal standing to require them to pay anything or support her gollygee Mar 2014 #30

No, I don't think 18 is too old for mom and dad to be sweet. But if the girl is not sweet... Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #32

"narcissistic freak"? really? frankly I find what you write about kids here, disturbing cali Mar 2014 #35

Are you serious? Parents have been treating kids like royalty for a couple of decades now... Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #36

Yes, it turns them into shitty parents, apparently jberryhill Mar 2014 #83

And some parents have been abusing their children for centuries, with very very bad results. pnwmom Mar 2014 #129

Apples and oranges. I'm discussing the current trend, and you're discussing criminal activity. Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #170

It's kind of amazing how people are making such strong conclusions pnwmom Mar 2014 #128

This girl reminds me of the spoiled kids on that MTV "Sweet 16" show davidn3600 Mar 2014 #38

It's a new fad - spoiling kids rotten till they expect everything for nothing nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #40

Why are you assuming that there isn't another side to this story? pnwmom Mar 2014 #113

The father says the girl is alleging physical and emotional abuse. Are you completely pnwmom Mar 2014 #121

She CAN demand the college money if it was put in a "Uniform Gift to Minors" account, pnwmom Mar 2014 #79

Bingo jberryhill Mar 2014 #80

By being "pulled," you mean . . . pnwmom Mar 2014 #82

That and more jberryhill Mar 2014 #84

I am aware that in some states, judges have ruled that a parent pnwmom Mar 2014 #86

Where have you seen a 529 in a UGTMA account? joeglow3 Mar 2014 #158

That is my take too. The parents are control freaks. That the boyfriend was mentioned is a tell stevenleser Mar 2014 #61

It says a lot that the high school personnel Mariana Mar 2014 #68

Well, if you leave voluntarily such a lawsuit must largely fail. Yo_Mama Mar 2014 #33

The 18 year old is too old for CPS to be involved now, but the father claims pnwmom Mar 2014 #130

I don't see 'strong support'. I see legally advisable actions taken by the DebJ Mar 2014 #161

Good for her. H2O Man Mar 2014 #39

Post removed Post removed Mar 2014 #44

I see the parents' side for sure madville Mar 2014 #41

Parents: "We're not draconian." Hissyspit Mar 2014 #67

Has your son ever gone to authorities and accused you of physical and emotional abuse? pnwmom Mar 2014 #131

Apparently she has a job tabbycat31 Mar 2014 #43

I bet the court tosses it. No standing to sue. idendoit Mar 2014 #45

She certainly has standing to sue on her own behalf. Hassin Bin Sober Mar 2014 #47

She hasn't claimed she was unaware that rules were attached. idendoit Mar 2014 #48

I don't know what she has claimed other than what is in the articles. Hassin Bin Sober Mar 2014 #49

She's not asking for that. She's asking for funds that were apparently put away in her name. pnwmom Mar 2014 #203

If they gifted that money to her over the years and put it in a "Uniform Gift to Minors" pnwmom Mar 2014 #85

A UGTM account becomes the property of the child JimDandy Mar 2014 #187

It would seem that her high school does not ManiacJoe Mar 2014 #52

Maybe her high school did do that. Mariana Mar 2014 #174

OK, now THIS is a frivilous lawsuit bluestateguy Mar 2014 #53

If the parents legally gifted her the money over the years and put it into a college account pnwmom Mar 2014 #78

Actually this is a very interesting case JimDandy Mar 2014 #192

You are complexifying a very simple common sense issue bluestateguy Mar 2014 #215

My daughter weng to school with a girl mackerel Mar 2014 #54

How is it we know about this? brentspeak Mar 2014 #55

It's always really sad when the relationship deteriorates like that because then the whole thing liberal_at_heart Mar 2014 #57

Yes, I agree and this sounds like the parents are control freaks. You dont get to control your stevenleser Mar 2014 #64

About that "college fund" jberryhill Mar 2014 #66

Hey, the mob has spoken. Hassin Bin Sober Mar 2014 #137

The parents claim she was not kicked out,though. DebJ Mar 2014 #162

"Drop your boyfriend or leave. It's your choice." jberryhill Mar 2014 #171

This will be thrown out of court. The parents win. She is not a minor anymore. TeamPooka Mar 2014 #72

Not true, if they already gifted the girl the money in the college fund. pnwmom Mar 2014 #77

If it a properly structured trust perhaps but if it's just an account in the parents names w/ intent TeamPooka Mar 2014 #88

It sounds like it's an account in the girls' name. And you don't have to have a trust for that. pnwmom Mar 2014 #126

Then she can obtain the money without suing. Contact the plan, and voila! :) Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #197

That was my point. Shje does not have access TeamPooka Mar 2014 #207

Exactly! nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #228

It figures. liberalmuse Mar 2014 #76

Yeah they sound like assholes to me laundry_queen Mar 2014 #182

If this "college fund" is in a "uniform gift to minors" account, then it was already given to her pnwmom Mar 2014 #81

I was never kicked out of my parents' Jenoch Mar 2014 #87

How much did college cost back then? And are you aware that student aid rules pnwmom Mar 2014 #114

It was equal to about $15,000 in today's money. Jenoch Mar 2014 #150

Unfortunately federal loan limits haven't kept up with cost of attendance. She can ONLY MissB Mar 2014 #152

I worked year 'round since the age of 15 Jenoch Mar 2014 #232

Which is great. I'm going to guess that you and I probably went to college around the same era. MissB Mar 2014 #237

I went to a community college Jenoch Mar 2014 #239

Oooh.... I would LOVE that deal. MissB Mar 2014 #243

When do we start the "affluenza" telethon to raise the money and end this disease? TeamPooka Mar 2014 #91

Everything about the dad screams "creepy control freak" Recursion Mar 2014 #92

yea... 1awake Mar 2014 #134

Oh, my nolkyz Mar 2014 #135

I look at this in a different way - this move may be strictly MissB Mar 2014 #147

That's something I think is likely, too. Either way, this could help. pnwmom Mar 2014 #205

Yeah, I remember trying to get MissB Mar 2014 #210

I wonder what her future employers will think about all this. nt Blue Diadem Mar 2014 #156

Hopefully, they'll care about what the real facts were. CPS is no longer involved pnwmom Mar 2014 #211

I was Admin/Moderator at a site for women living in step for years JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #159

I totally agree with you. nt laundry_queen Mar 2014 #183

I agree with legal standing should not exboyfil Mar 2014 #208

Good luck with that - i.e. JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #209

I have already funded full tuition in 529s for exboyfil Mar 2014 #212

Although my initial reaction was very negative, I'm going to keep an open mind on this one. aikoaiko Mar 2014 #163

What we really need to see is the complaint treestar Mar 2014 #186

FWIW, I saw a blurb from the dad this morning City Lights Mar 2014 #165

But I'm sure she's cut out of the will at this point. lol cbdo2007 Mar 2014 #194

Absolutely! nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #199

This young lady is concerned about making something of herself by going to college, JimDandy Mar 2014 #216

LOL cbdo2007 Mar 2014 #220

Share the joke. I could use a laugh. n/t JimDandy Mar 2014 #226

They're kind people. It's their asset, not hers. However, she's shutting lots of doors behind her. Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #198

How do you know the parents are kind people? JimDandy Mar 2014 #217

Because they could've sent her to public school and saved their money Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #227

The vast majority of parents don't send their kids to private school because they are "kind". ProudToBeBlueInRhody Mar 2014 #238

Yes, for their kids to do well. nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #246

I don't know enough. I am seeing the Parent's side but I am not against Xyzse Mar 2014 #204

The family she lives with should get child support till shes done with her undergrad. Exultant Democracy Mar 2014 #206

Parents are saying she can have the college fund JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #219

To Be Clear -She (Rachel) is suing her Parents for Child Support JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #218

Very interesting article. I particularly noticed this: Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #231

I caught the tail end JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #235

Doesn't surprise me. Kids nowadays are spoiled until they're so entitled there's no end to it. Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #236

I think SOME kids are JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #248

I agree that not all kids are this way, and I agree that some parents who are parents rather than Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #249

Live feed from reporter Michael Izzo of the Bergen Daily Record FarCenter Mar 2014 #224

:) I figured the judge would say as much. nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #229

Thanks for the info! nt City Lights Mar 2014 #233

Good. blueamy66 Mar 2014 #234

the little shit left some terrible voice mails to her mother shanti Mar 2014 #247