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magical thyme

(14,881 posts)

135. if you're too beautiful it can work almost in reverse

Tue Mar 4, 2014, 07:52 PM

Mar 2014

In that men can be afraid to approach you, and women may block you from working.

You don't have to buy it. Studies have repeatedly shown that their is a "plainness penalty" and "beauty premium."

Personally, I experienced it first hand in my home. When I was 16, while other girls were getting asked to the prom, I had my first and only apology from my father. He said he was sorry, that it was his fault my face was so ugly, that nobody would ever want to marry me I was so ugly. He walked away shaking his head and muttering, "I don't know what we're going to do about MT. She's so ugly nobody is ever going to marry her." It was bad enough to be called ugly and made fun of by classmates; if you think it wasn't devastating to be told that by my father, I'm here to say you are quite wrong about that.

https://www.stlouisfed.org/publications/re/articles/?id=362

http://www2.canada.com/calgaryherald/news/reallife/story.html?id=f459060d-8560-455d-84b9-3c9298b9a1ec

http://www.smh.com.au/executive-style/management/good-looks-bring-a-handsome-return--32000-a-year-20130106-2cb65.html

http://www.miami.edu/index.php/features/silver_meets_silicon/

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The #1 privilege is being pretty... [View all] snooper2 Mar 2014 OP

I would say 'attractive', but it is certainly true. alittlelark Mar 2014 #1

I think 'attractive' is much closer to the mark than 'pretty'. Aristus Mar 2014 #5

Cute vs Pretty. (NewsRadio clip) reformist2 Mar 2014 #57

You are right. Demobrat Mar 2014 #2

Is it still privilege if you earn it...? Lost_Count Mar 2014 #157

Not sure how great beauty is earned Demobrat Mar 2014 #164

It is A privilege gollygee Mar 2014 #3

+1 redqueen Mar 2014 #6

I'm talking as a general rule of thumb snooper2 Mar 2014 #16

Mitch McConnell looks like a fucking turtle but he still made it to the Senate yeoman6987 Mar 2014 #20

Men have a somewhat easier time, although looks matter on men, as well. calimary Mar 2014 #87

I think as a general rule of thumb gollygee Mar 2014 #33

Could you answer the question I posed to redqueen in post #19 snooper2 Mar 2014 #38

That isn't just pretty privilege at play gollygee Mar 2014 #41

I would rather be an attractive black man snooper2 Mar 2014 #43

That doesn't change the fact that gollygee Mar 2014 #47

Are you white? treestar Mar 2014 #52

I'm actually red right now snooper2 Mar 2014 #55

I too am white and would rather look like that woman in your photo treestar Mar 2014 #63

No the same brain is not part of the deal BainsBane Mar 2014 #141

I think that might... 3catwoman3 Mar 2014 #70

I doubt it BainsBane Mar 2014 #140

*sigh* ismnotwasm Mar 2014 #40

. MO_Moderate Mar 2014 #25

+1 bravenak Mar 2014 #79

Can I ask you this? notadmblnd Mar 2014 #82

It's just a sad thought that he would need to have a bible and a suit to not get shot. bravenak Mar 2014 #88

Well take the bible out of his hand and put in library books notadmblnd Mar 2014 #95

Yes I do think he would have been able to convince that jury. bravenak Mar 2014 #99

You know, when my husband was alive, I wouldn't travel to the South with him notadmblnd Mar 2014 #104

Are you an interracial couple? bravenak Mar 2014 #112

Yes. For the most part we never had problems notadmblnd Mar 2014 #118

It's a normal part of life. bravenak Mar 2014 #122

I suspect he might very well have been able to gollygee Mar 2014 #106

I never even considered the pimp Angle. bravenak Mar 2014 #113

Message auto-removed Name removed Mar 2014 #158

I feel sure that I could have walked down the street not dressed in a hoodie gollygee Mar 2014 #93

No, I wasn't suggesting it. notadmblnd Mar 2014 #100

I almost never dress up gollygee Mar 2014 #103

God help you if you are an ugly girl Orrex Mar 2014 #4

Yeah pretty can be a double edged sword gollygee Mar 2014 #7

Hmm . . . JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #8

it isn't about you comparing yourself with others. it's about others comparing you with others. magical thyme Mar 2014 #94

Yeah JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #98

People rarely see their own privilege... Demo_Chris Mar 2014 #123

if you're too beautiful it can work almost in reverse magical thyme Mar 2014 #135

Now that makes me feel bad for you JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #163

Hey... redqueen Mar 2014 #166

It's proven to be human nature, in general. 1000words Mar 2014 #9

You're right. Why do we define beauty if not to use that definition to some extent? randome Mar 2014 #23

No,it's not. If it were our government sufrommich Mar 2014 #10

Precisely. redqueen Mar 2014 #13

Would you rather be born and grow up looking like snooper2 Mar 2014 #19

That's the rub. LiberalAndProud Mar 2014 #53

If that guy shaved the hair on his head to the skin, and did a lot bullwinkle428 Mar 2014 #73

or this? ChazII Mar 2014 #145

if the white guy cleaned up like the woman and wore professional clothing like her JI7 Mar 2014 #150

...and rich [n/t] Maedhros Mar 2014 #89

And this post completely crushes the entire OP KitSileya Mar 2014 #156

Agreed LittleBlue Mar 2014 #11

Agreed Boom Sound 416 Mar 2014 #12

Nope. Wealth can buy and sell pretty. Orsino Mar 2014 #14

+1000. Well stated. nt adirondacker Mar 2014 #28

I've come to the conclusion that those sufrommich Mar 2014 #31

To be fair, most of us never come into direct contact with great wealth. Orsino Mar 2014 #35

It's time to play Nuclear Unicorn Mar 2014 #45

Well, that was disgusting [n/t] Maedhros Mar 2014 #91

+11 treestar Mar 2014 #46

No, it is wealth and I have no idea why anyone argues anything else TheKentuckian Mar 2014 #15

I agree, wealth #1, Attractiveness #2. nt stevenleser Mar 2014 #58

I'm trashing this thread. TeamPooka Mar 2014 #17

Thanks! This is a first for me I think! snooper2 Mar 2014 #21

I apologize to everyone for being so attractive. I just can't help it. FSogol Mar 2014 #18

Definitely #1 MO_Moderate Mar 2014 #22

Hasn't worked for me... 1awake Mar 2014 #24

I spent two years getting in shape and eating much healthier. tridim Mar 2014 #26

+10 Cleita Mar 2014 #27

Teachers Give Better Grades to More Attractive Students: Study Hissyspit Mar 2014 #32

That's not a shock Dorian Gray Mar 2014 #114

There's some element of that, true, but treestar Mar 2014 #51

Except I have no gym membership, no plastic surgery, take no pharmaceuticals and wear no makeup. tridim Mar 2014 #54

There are some people who can't look better no matter how hard treestar Mar 2014 #61

Totally disagree. Think positive! tridim Mar 2014 #64

I think that's almost true Prophet 451 Mar 2014 #29

#1 is wealth, #2 is pretty. Waiting For Everyman Mar 2014 #30

Study Finds Attractive People Earn More At Work Hissyspit Mar 2014 #34

It also helps to be tall Mosby Mar 2014 #42

Number one is white privilege ismnotwasm Mar 2014 #36

Attractive People Are Simply More Successful Hissyspit Mar 2014 #37

Who has more power? justiceischeap Mar 2014 #39

Depends on the goal 1000words Mar 2014 #44

Disagree in that money treestar Mar 2014 #48

"perception of attractiveness enhances the attribution of stereotypical sex characteristics" zazen Mar 2014 #49

Nah, #1 Privilege is and always is RICH. Xyzse Mar 2014 #50

You may indeed be full of shit Aldo Leopold Mar 2014 #56

Well, my wife says I have a nice ass snooper2 Mar 2014 #60

OK, go ahead, rub your "nice ass privilege" in the faces of the rest of us. Nye Bevan Mar 2014 #72

LOLs! Aldo Leopold Mar 2014 #107

...lucky... Aldo Leopold Mar 2014 #111

Harrison Bergeron? FUCK, dude, I thought they shot you! 11 Bravo Mar 2014 #59

You may be right, but one caveat can be pointed out bluestateguy Mar 2014 #62

attractiveness is a privilege, and what we consider attractive is what is a european standard La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2014 #65

+1 gollygee Mar 2014 #66

Thank you ismnotwasm Mar 2014 #67

Bullshit. LiberalAndProud Mar 2014 #68

I was sitting in a coffee shop a few months ago bluestateguy Mar 2014 #69

No gentleman he. MineralMan Mar 2014 #80

Bill Gates and Warren Buffett certainly parlayed their looks into great success. Nye Bevan Mar 2014 #71

and lets not forget the stunningness that is the koch brothers. La Lioness Priyanka Mar 2014 #74

This is what makes them so attractive. Cleita Mar 2014 #78

Not only in America. It's pretty much the same all over the world. Cleita Mar 2014 #75

No mystery how Angela Merkel rose to the Chancellorship of Germany. Nye Bevan Mar 2014 #77

Not sure it's #1; but it's up there. n/t Smarmie Doofus Mar 2014 #76

Pretty is a funny adjective, really. MineralMan Mar 2014 #81

Attractiveness is often in how you hold yourself, carry yourself, behave. randome Mar 2014 #83

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY. Pretty gets you farther. And more. And better. PERIOD. calimary Mar 2014 #84

thanks. very well said. nt Demo_Chris Mar 2014 #127

I think ZombieHorde Mar 2014 #85

You need to post a photo of yourself. bravenak Mar 2014 #86

+1000 JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #101

Right? bravenak Mar 2014 #117

Cosign on that JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #125

THIS. nt redqueen Mar 2014 #128

I've been told I don't know how many times snooper2 Mar 2014 #120

I think McCain would have picked satan if he though it would help. bravenak Mar 2014 #124

also,most of them are not very attractive , in fact i would say they tend to be very unattractive JI7 Mar 2014 #143

Haven't seen a cute one yet. bravenak Mar 2014 #146

The thing about being a woman in America BainsBane Mar 2014 #90

BB JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #108

I realize that BainsBane Mar 2014 #110

Nonsense Proud Public Servant Mar 2014 #92

not from what I've seen...in fact snooper2 Mar 2014 #97

It's difficult to try and argue one type of privilege is more or less "effective" than another, Maedhros Mar 2014 #96

Along with privilege comes many benefits Whisp Mar 2014 #102

Ha! I'd say sociable and well adjusted. ErikJ Mar 2014 #105

Attractiveness Dorian Gray Mar 2014 #109

no, the number 1 "privilege" is having had a good childhood cali Mar 2014 #115

If I had to pick, I'd largely agree with this. As well as perhaps not having Chathamization Mar 2014 #161

It is definitely a privilege. Jamastiene Mar 2014 #116

Oh great. Now we are going to have Pretty Privilege and/or Attractive Privilege wars. RC Mar 2014 #119

Oh HELL no.People treat you like you are stupid, people who are most impressed by looks enough to bettyellen Mar 2014 #121

I'm 41 now JustAnotherGen Mar 2014 #126

I was too shy till about 30 or so. Then I realized I needed to ask the guy, LOL. bettyellen Mar 2014 #137

That certainly does happen. Lizzie Poppet Mar 2014 #130

I had a work friend like that years ago. tridim Mar 2014 #134

I had a few people tell me straight up that they were shocked that I was intelligent. bettyellen Mar 2014 #136

That's the thing about the attractiveness privilege, in order to use it to its fullest, one has stevenleser Mar 2014 #159

It got me fired for not sleeping with my boss, bettyellen Mar 2014 #169

If that were true, there'd be a hell of alot more black, Asian, Arab, Hispanic models and actors Number23 Mar 2014 #129

Back in the days of the studios ethnic European actors were sprayed Cleita Mar 2014 #131

Exactly. And even more recent ones are just as bad Number23 Mar 2014 #138

Yep, they still have a long way to go.n/t Cleita Mar 2014 #139

Didn't both Affleck and Jolie produce/direct and make the push for each of those films to be made? ProudToBeBlueInRhody Mar 2014 #152

I don't know if that's true or not but even if it was, they still could have found actors of color Number23 Mar 2014 #154

Yeah gollygee Mar 2014 #160

Oh my God, I've been saying that same thing forever Number23 Mar 2014 #170

Yep, exactly, because first society tells us what "pretty" is ... LisaLynne Mar 2014 #132

No, he's making a point of remaining unaware. BainsBane Mar 2014 #144

It's an interesting thought, TBH. AverageJoe90 Mar 2014 #133

I wish I knew. WinkyDink Mar 2014 #142

You wouldn't trade looks for Shankapotomus Mar 2014 #147

I think the #1 privilege is being born into money. Autumn Mar 2014 #148

Now think about what features get defined as "pretty" and why. You're missing the real story there. LeftyMom Mar 2014 #149

"Of course, I may be full of shit, just a thought" - Your words. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #151

I agree with some of the other posters. "Wealth" trumps "pretty". hughee99 Mar 2014 #153

'Attractive' is a biological privilege. Wealth is not tied to genes. alittlelark Mar 2014 #155

I agree it confers a potentially strong privilege, my only disagreement is whether wealth is more stevenleser Mar 2014 #162

For the 99%, you're exactly right. Vashta Nerada Mar 2014 #165

Looks like a lot of ugly people disagree, LMFAO! Corruption Inc Mar 2014 #167

Have to disagree Tsiyu Mar 2014 #168

I was able to be taken seriously.. alittlelark Mar 2014 #172

'Wealth' can be lost easily ... frittered away alittlelark Mar 2014 #171