General Discussion

brett_jv

(1,245 posts)

233. I'm not blaming either side, this is not the 'tone' argument ...

Wed Mar 5, 2014, 02:03 PM

Mar 2014

I'm just deeply troubled by how divided we've become on this site. So much of the world is already against us, we don't need to be at each others throats on top of it.

People (men and women both!) need to grasp that their own 'arguments' are not always iron-clad, written-in-stone 'right', and that everyone's experiences and perceptions need to be considered ... if large groups of individuals are going to stand a chance of getting along.

So, that post was more of a plea for people to try to listen, try to better understand each other, tone down the hostility, and give others the benefit of the doubt until PROVEN they're undeserving. We also need to be capable of just 'agreeing to disagree' ... without residual ill-will being harbored.

If we can't come together and get along on a message board, how are we going to accomplish the important stuff together ... like keeping the Senate and hopefully getting back the damn House somehow?

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I refuse to be baited on gender issues [View all] cali Mar 2014 OP

I agree get the red out Mar 2014 #1

if it gets too quiet, people are too respectful. then the games must then begin. seabeyond Mar 2014 #2

Another calm insightful post. Thanks, Cali! marble falls Mar 2014 #3

thanks. cali Mar 2014 #10

Wyhy is holding doors fer wimen obejecterfying? chrisa Mar 2014 #4

Theyy are being meen to ME PERSONALalLY! It's all about ME!!!!! Squinch Mar 2014 #94

Misandery! chrisa Mar 2014 #99

They must all just be ugly and hate sex!!123!!9! Squinch Mar 2014 #103

Message auto-removed Name removed Mar 2014 #243

Agreed N_E_1 for Tennis Mar 2014 #5

Recommended. H2O Man Mar 2014 #6

thanks, H2O Man. cali Mar 2014 #7

Thanks for this post. redqueen Mar 2014 #8

As always, great post. K&R nt 1awake Mar 2014 #9

But men are victims too BBR Esq Mar 2014 #11

Amazing ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2014 #12

huh? cali Mar 2014 #16

Sorry ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2014 #30

Huh? BBR Esq Mar 2014 #17

No ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2014 #25

I hate to repeat myself, but huh?- again cali Mar 2014 #32

I believe it has gone both ways AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #41

Disagree. Men have posted several insightful and understanding OPs about sexism. cui bono Mar 2014 #134

I understand this ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2014 #84

I think you mean "misandry." [n/t] Maedhros Mar 2014 #22

Yes ... 1StrongBlackMan Mar 2014 #28

KABOOM! Heidi Mar 2014 #79

You poor thing. Heidi Mar 2014 #34

I'm sorry - I misunderstood 1StrongBlackMan's post. Maedhros Mar 2014 #86

See my post above. Maedhros Mar 2014 #87

LOL wryter2000 Mar 2014 #15

Thank you. BBR Esq Mar 2014 #19

I'll second that cali Mar 2014 #21

Thank you too. BBR Esq Mar 2014 #23

Hehe... cui bono Mar 2014 #135

Thank you. BBR Esq Mar 2014 #144

k&r tea and oranges Mar 2014 #13

Welcome to DU wryter2000 Mar 2014 #14

Thanks wryter2000 tea and oranges Mar 2014 #27

And the best of the best men call others out spooky3 Mar 2014 #18

yes they do. It's been heartening to see. cali Mar 2014 #20

+1. lol. a simple human being, lol. which i guess would fall into that category, spooky... nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #24

As common sense is not so common...nt spooky3 Mar 2014 #60

but it is not happening NEARLY as much as has been claimed around here... VanillaRhapsody Mar 2014 #37

Indeed. They are a sight for sore eyes. nt cinnabonbon Mar 2014 #89

I'll call it out when I see it. AtheistCrusader Mar 2014 #26

I think women can both be physically attractive AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #29

what? who would argue with that and how the hell does that make you the odd man cali Mar 2014 #33

I am somewhat snidely referring to the prevailing attitudes on DU AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #35

"prevailing attitude in certain circles" VanillaRhapsody Mar 2014 #38

Exactly AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #39

I don't think my post means what you think it means.... VanillaRhapsody Mar 2014 #40

Mine means what you think it does AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #42

again, when you ignore or are clueless what the "argument" is defining it how you want to seabeyond Mar 2014 #45

lol AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #55

"prevailing attitudes" BainsBane Mar 2014 #127

Within certain circles AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #128

Which circle? BainsBane Mar 2014 #129

The Thought Police� AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #130

You can think what you like BainsBane Mar 2014 #132

I love how you guys tie yourselves into knots AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #133

Then why are you in here causing an argument? cui bono Mar 2014 #136

Because it is my right to opine AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #139

Then don't claim to not take the bait. cui bono Mar 2014 #141

I refuse to be baited on gender issues AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #143

Wow, huge strawman gollygee Mar 2014 #43

Read post #35 AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #44

There is absolutely gollygee Mar 2014 #46

You absolutely missed my point AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #48

Your point is a strawman gollygee Mar 2014 #50

Not at all AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #54

No one said that either gollygee Mar 2014 #56

Yeah, sure AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #58

Adoration gollygee Mar 2014 #62

That's exactly what I mean AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #65

cool story, bro nt geek tragedy Mar 2014 #57

LOL nt SunSeeker Mar 2014 #177

I used to refer to different opinions the same way... LanternWaste Mar 2014 #64

It's wonderful that Dorian Gray Mar 2014 #91

It is more accurate to say AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #92

I haven't read anything that would make me think anyone would say your wife cui bono Mar 2014 #138

I say one thing AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #142

You can say what you want, up to a point, but it looks to me like your only reason cui bono Mar 2014 #152

I keep saying things AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #154

Now you're just being silly. But you know that. cui bono Mar 2014 #158

Thank you for the barrage of insults AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #160

Oh don't you have to get back to your "hot wife" HangOnKids Mar 2014 #163

My wife is at work AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #164

LOL HangOnKids Mar 2014 #165

Whatever AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #166

More LOL HangOnKids Mar 2014 #167

See post AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #168

Ive seen more than enough from you HangOnKids Mar 2014 #169

Well isn't that special? AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #170

Maybe you've heard of his wife. geek tragedy Mar 2014 #223

heh Bobbie Jo Mar 2014 #232

When have anyone, *anyone* on this site not approved of the things you mention? KitSileya Mar 2014 #171

It appears this posters is confused. HangOnKids Mar 2014 #173

My daughter is also very good looking AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #176

You jumped right into the middle AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #181

i might want to argue, that even though a woman says she is done with the game, that does NOT mean seabeyond Mar 2014 #47

The thought police have come to arrest me! AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #61

That was thrown in there out of the blue gollygee Mar 2014 #63

I think the poster is just trying sufrommich Mar 2014 #68

It's got to be performance art, right? Please? Zenlitened Mar 2014 #88

OK AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #145

oh noes... mr bill. said that to boys while they grew up, were clueless. but, seabeyond Mar 2014 #69

I refuse to be baited by you AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #72

cant even follow this conversation? we are now talking bout mr bill, that YOU brought up. nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #74

Support your local thought police! AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #77

Now you're just getting silly gollygee Mar 2014 #75

You are correct AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #78

In general it's a good policy not to "toy" with people... Agschmid Mar 2014 #146

Sometimes they deserve it AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #147

No one here IMHO deserves it. Agschmid Mar 2014 #148

On most issues, yes AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #149

Jury says you can do it all you want... Agschmid Mar 2014 #153

If you don't want me to answer AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #155

Got it. Agschmid Mar 2014 #157

you learned from the mens group well. now, throw up your goofy little pictures to demean and dismiss seabeyond Mar 2014 #66

Yeah, sure AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #67

geeez, i would assume evil would be a little smart. nah, not even. silly, ya. seabeyond Mar 2014 #71

Of course AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #76

Nah ..... polly7 Mar 2014 #93

Was that you that alerted on me, lmao. Hey Polly.... seabeyond Mar 2014 #96

Isn't it a hoot polly7 Mar 2014 #97

again, after first sentence, blah, blah. poster brought up evil out of his mind. address him. nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #98

I addressed your personal insults towards him, which he did NOT deserve. polly7 Mar 2014 #100

no. you really merely used it as a diving board to throw out a bunch of insults to me. which.... seabeyond Mar 2014 #101

Used what? polly7 Mar 2014 #102

" It's those evil MEN again" start at the beginning instead of the middle. seabeyond Mar 2014 #104

I read the whole thread. polly7 Mar 2014 #105

lol. goddess, you are funny seabeyond Mar 2014 #106

Better to be funny than insulting people personally just for shits and giggles. polly7 Mar 2014 #107

I would be suprised if she meant funny ha, ha BainsBane Mar 2014 #126

Oh I know, it's easy to say shit about people, then claim you were polly7 Mar 2014 #186

"Don't tell me what to do. Ever." no. really. ha ha funny. lol. nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #188

Glad you understood that. polly7 Mar 2014 #191

Some posts aren't worth the energy it takes for the key strokes etherealtruth Mar 2014 #235

What was that about rules and civility? BainsBane Mar 2014 #108

Did you have a point with that? polly7 Mar 2014 #109

So rules and civility don't apply to you? BainsBane Mar 2014 #110

I just said, above ...... if you lie about me, I will call you on it. polly7 Mar 2014 #111

I provided a link. Anyone can read it for themselves BainsBane Mar 2014 #112

You lied. I replied. polly7 Mar 2014 #115

What lie? BainsBane Mar 2014 #124

That I hate the U.S. and Obama for pointing out Russia is a nation of people polly7 Mar 2014 #187

So you have no links BainsBane Mar 2014 #218

Not ONE single thing posted was a lie. polly7 Mar 2014 #219

I am not my "pals" BainsBane Mar 2014 #221

Oh I'm a very happy person! polly7 Mar 2014 #222

Again, when shown to be full of it BainsBane Mar 2014 #224

You know what my life is like? polly7 Mar 2014 #226

Oh, you were lucky. polly7 Mar 2014 #194

i betcha you almost NEVER alert. unless you come across one of mine. i hear ya. nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #197

No, I just said ........ I very, very rarely alert unless it's polly7 Mar 2014 #198

. seabeyond Mar 2014 #205

Cool. Glad you acknowledge that. nt. polly7 Mar 2014 #208

lol, you never ignore her posts, so it's not credible you even say that. R B Garr Mar 2014 #212

I just said ............ I don't bother with most of her posts simply because polly7 Mar 2014 #213

You do nothing but bother with her posts. Count your posts on this thread alone. R B Garr Mar 2014 #215

I respond to nastiness and insults against someone who didn't deserve them. polly7 Mar 2014 #216

Sea - ignore him. marble falls Mar 2014 #200

mostly... lol. sometimes though, it is just too funny. too obvious. and ya. seabeyond Mar 2014 #206

I really don't understand why you do that at every opportunity. Bonobo Mar 2014 #137

Um... I've peeked in there and that group is nothing to defend. cui bono Mar 2014 #140

Could you be more specific? Bonobo Mar 2014 #150

I understand the mechanisms in place. cui bono Mar 2014 #156

Yes, I have seen them, Cui Bono. Bonobo Mar 2014 #159

Okay, thank you Bonobo. n/t cui bono Mar 2014 #162

i do not believe i say something at every opportunity, i think you are wrong. and i only make a seabeyond Mar 2014 #189

No, I don't get it. Bonobo Mar 2014 #192

you and i disagree. nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #207

Have you read the OP? You should read it. That will give you context. n/t R B Garr Mar 2014 #214

You post pictures all the time that some many consider inappropriate in a thread? polly7 Mar 2014 #195

The jury is in sea 5-1 LEAVE Autumn Mar 2014 #225

Remember back when people were smearing HoF all the time? Violet_Crumble Mar 2014 #178

Thank you for adding that. The thing is... Bonobo Mar 2014 #180

Yep, that's the exact same thing that happened to me for being part of HoF... Violet_Crumble Mar 2014 #182

With all due respect Violet, polly7 Mar 2014 #201

I know. I've seen some of that stuff yr talking about... Violet_Crumble Mar 2014 #239

You're right, there are definitely some good people posting there and I've read very polly7 Mar 2014 #242

ah. you got your scold in seabeyond Mar 2014 #193

No, I pointed out the bleeding obvious... Violet_Crumble Mar 2014 #199

I courteously pointed out why I feel it is a men's group tactic. Agree or do not. seabeyond Mar 2014 #203

And I'm courteously pointing out that yr doing the same thing you used to complain about... Violet_Crumble Mar 2014 #240

i disagree. nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #241

There are many different ways to educate ones self. NCTraveler Mar 2014 #217

That's it exactly. The attempt at trolling actually revealed a very sexist underlying attitude. Squinch Mar 2014 #113

I thought it kinda an insulting... Duh. Lol. Let's be obvious in the sexism. Nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #118

We ALL care what you think of us. Sheldon Cooper Mar 2014 #51

beauty is in the eye of the beholder. eom uppityperson Mar 2014 #80

Indeed it is AgingAmerican Mar 2014 #81

We don't agree much, but you are spot on here. n/t FSogol Mar 2014 #31

Good post. justhanginon Mar 2014 #36

Agreed! It's really only a tiny handful engaging in this - the same tired ones over and over nt Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #49

I Think The Baiting RobinA Mar 2014 #52

I haven't seen anyone posting the counterpart of the SI thread cali Mar 2014 #53

Just so we're clear, are you only counting OPs in that tally? Orrex Mar 2014 #70

No, I'm not just counting OPs, but clearly those who post cali Mar 2014 #73

*** is an alpha.....?? lmfao. i am sorry. not being mean. just a brain flash of our "alphas" seabeyond Mar 2014 #82

Well, maybe it's a matter of what qualifies as "gender-baiting" Orrex Mar 2014 #83

Speaking of alphas Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #116

an aplha woman kicking betas ass? who? who? lol. bah hahahah. this thread has become too funny. seabeyond Mar 2014 #120

I'm glad you said Capt. Obvious Mar 2014 #123

huh??? lol. seabeyond Mar 2014 #125

This. -nt Bonx Mar 2014 #95

K&R Packerowner740 Mar 2014 #59

Perfect illustration of the dynamic at work: 1000words Mar 2014 #85

Are you still mourning the loss of a previously banned troll? BainsBane Mar 2014 #90

I assume if I don't 100% agree with you on all women's issues I am the enemy. n-t Logical Mar 2014 #114

kick, w thanks! bettyellen Mar 2014 #117

Yes, it is contemptible, but Curmudgeoness Mar 2014 #119

+1!!! Squinch Mar 2014 #121

+2 Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2014 #131

Hiya Curmudgeoness! myrna minx Mar 2014 #220

I have also been saddened by a few of the posters Curmudgeoness Mar 2014 #236

the real men of DU are absolutely fine Skittles Mar 2014 #122

Just play them off to the dulcet tones of Eduard Khil Scootaloo Mar 2014 #151

K&R DeSwiss Mar 2014 #161

Which means you already are. cliffordu Mar 2014 #172

Its probably a public service, frankly... shaayecanaan Mar 2014 #174

And no doubt some GOP sockpuppets applegrove Mar 2014 #175

Wow, things have gotten pretty friggin' meta around here lately ... brett_jv Mar 2014 #179

You killed the thread, Hitler. Bonobo Mar 2014 #183

Women do NOT "have the power" MadrasT Mar 2014 #185

it is like with prostitution. we will hear argument that there are men that can NEVER get sex, and seabeyond Mar 2014 #204

And we hear about women who also can't get sex and must travel all over the polly7 Mar 2014 #211

polly, your seabeyond stalking is really pretty creepy. Sheldon Cooper Mar 2014 #227

Sheldon Cooper, your claim of seabeyond stalking is beyond creepy. polly7 Mar 2014 #228

Heh. Sheldon Cooper Mar 2014 #229

Yes, it has. nt. polly7 Mar 2014 #230

Ahhh... the 'tone' argument. Sheldon Cooper Mar 2014 #202

I'm not blaming either side, this is not the 'tone' argument ... brett_jv Mar 2014 #233

+100000000000000000000000000 nt. polly7 Mar 2014 #210

"the most productive thing one can do in these instances is to try to educate" redqueen Mar 2014 #234

Baiting or mindless boasting betsuni Mar 2014 #184

You're right. Bonobo Mar 2014 #190

and for me, this is a world pornifying our girls, bringing it to a norm. i hear ya. nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #209

Well said, Cali. Nitram Mar 2014 #196

Doing the right thing should be an easy exercise MrScorpio Mar 2014 #231

MrScorpio.....one of the good guys of DU. Curmudgeoness Mar 2014 #237

HERE Cali Cali Cali... Drew Richards Mar 2014 #238

Message auto-removed Name removed Mar 2014 #244

what legacy, my wingnut friend? I'm glad to inform you- cali Mar 2014 #245

Message auto-removed Name removed Mar 2014 #246