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IrishAyes

(6,151 posts)
34. I lost my son when he was 14; but he was well on his way toward becoming a terrific man.
Fri Mar 7, 2014, 07:24 PM
Mar 2014

Retired in flyover country (that's a nicer term than RedNeckLand, don't you agree?) for financial reasons, I've had my share of problems with some of the local adult teabaggers. But I can say quite honestly that the kids have been great to me w/o fail over 8 years. Whether it's because I make so many of their parents mad, who can say? Anyway, I like them and they know it. Sometimes they'll turn to me with a problem I don't think they feel comfortable talking about just anywhere. That makes me feel good and I always try to encourage them though not in a way to cause more trouble at home.

When it comes to full grown men, I've said to more than one of them that what I honor most is a good family man. I couldn't care less about their $ or education or lack thereof. If they're a good family man, they have my utmost respect. Sometimes it's hard for me to keep my political beliefs out of the mix, but it has been a little easier the more I read about how people got so screwed up the way they tend to be around here. When I can see the frightened kid inside, it tamps down my gut reaction to go upside their heads with a skillet or something. Many of you have probably read the cluster of recent articles about how showing fanatics the facts only makes them dig in harder. Witness anti-vaxers, etc. And teabaggers. I don't let any of their leaders off the hook, though.

"Be cool and be kind of a dick", made me laugh, but I have seen too many men deny pain siligut Mar 2014 #1
Like my husband. He absolutely refused to go to the doctor Cleita Mar 2014 #2
Yes, I know, and what can you do? siligut Mar 2014 #5
It's a reverse sexism. Little boys are taught not to cry or admit to pain, or other Cleita Mar 2014 #7
Heh. I guess I missed THAT memo, like the times I needed a root canal. Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #8
Hm! sibelian Mar 2014 #40
It's really bad. Warren DeMontague Mar 2014 #44
Best stick with the most important 10 words dipsydoodle Mar 2014 #3
Seriously great words to live by RVN VET Mar 2014 #31
"be a man" is my guess. And as I scrolled down to post I saw the answer at the bottom of the OP. cui bono Mar 2014 #4
The most hurtful thing I ever heard was said to me by my mother when she was mad at my father once Fumesucker Mar 2014 #6
Thankfully, I can't remember anyone ever saying that to me. progressoid Mar 2014 #9
YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! I have seen this since I was little! It's the WORST thing for society! EVERYONE DesertDiamond Mar 2014 #10
.... yeah.... sibelian Mar 2014 #41
I hate you? Rex Mar 2014 #11
But "be a man" can also mean "take responsibility" Thats what my mom used to say 7962 Mar 2014 #12
Instead of saying be a man.... AnneD Mar 2014 #21
But that also leads to the idea that women can't take responsibiilty mythology Mar 2014 #43
Only if men and women are somehow opposites. sibelian Mar 2014 #49
how often do you hear anyone say to a little girl.... be a woman. a child is just that. seabeyond Mar 2014 #61
Walk it off Pretzel_Warrior Mar 2014 #13
"Spit on it and take a lap" was what I heard as a HS wrestler and basketball player. 11 Bravo Mar 2014 #16
Rub dirt on it. kairos12 Mar 2014 #23
Run to into the arms of the nearest bro sibelian Mar 2014 #51
+1 lumberjack_jeff Mar 2014 #69
I have three boys and both my husband and I have worked hard to overcome the stereotype of what Bettie Mar 2014 #14
I understand. We are going through this with our almost 5-year old son tandot Mar 2014 #55
We're older parents too Bettie Mar 2014 #59
Sorry for responding so late, Bettie tandot Mar 2014 #73
Sorry about the tummy bugs Bettie Mar 2014 #74
I disagree. My wife and I are teaching two amazing sons to "Be a man". What we aren't teaching ... 11 Bravo Mar 2014 #15
Pretty much what I taught my sons. HappyMe Mar 2014 #17
Interesting point fried eggs Mar 2014 #18
Yeah, I've never said those words to my son Aldo Leopold Mar 2014 #19
IMHO, if you properly define what a "man" is... Wounded Bear Mar 2014 #20
I have a problem with this HappyMe Mar 2014 #26
But I would argue... Wounded Bear Mar 2014 #27
I agree with you in regards HappyMe Mar 2014 #28
Maybe that dark hole needs illumination. n/t lumberjack_jeff Mar 2014 #70
Heh. I got the "...be a man" lecture from an old-school teacher in 8th grade. hunter Mar 2014 #22
I see nothing destructive about telling a kid to be a man tularetom Mar 2014 #24
"I'd never forgive you if...." A HERETIC I AM Mar 2014 #25
Somewhere on youtube there's video taken by Dylan Klebold... Smarmie Doofus Mar 2014 #29
We taught and are teaching Sissyk Mar 2014 #30
Be a man could mean different things to people upaloopa Mar 2014 #32
Most of my friends have been women and they rarely thump their chests. Spitfire of ATJ Mar 2014 #33
I lost my son when he was 14; but he was well on his way toward becoming a terrific man. IrishAyes Mar 2014 #34
"You little shit" Flying Squirrel Mar 2014 #35
This again. sibelian Mar 2014 #36
They don't matter... Lost_Count Mar 2014 #37
Depends on what your definition of a "man" is. flvegan Mar 2014 #38
He *will* be a man eventually. It is a worthy goal. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2014 #39
Consider how many supposedly enlightened men on DU say... Bonobo Mar 2014 #42
good point. My son is 15 now. He is just now getting interested in things that some would call liberal_at_heart Mar 2014 #45
Curiosity tends to work differently in boys and girls. lumberjack_jeff Mar 2014 #68
Parents say malicious evil shit to their kids every day. This doesn't even rate... Demo_Chris Mar 2014 #46
My Mum made a point of telling my sister she wasn't an expected baby. sibelian Mar 2014 #47
What a peach. nt Demo_Chris Mar 2014 #64
It's as obnoxious to me as telling a woman to "act like a lady.". Inkfreak Mar 2014 #48
I don't see how sibelian Mar 2014 #50
Well, "be a man" means other things too fishwax Mar 2014 #52
Hm. sibelian Mar 2014 #53
Yes, there are some contexts in which "stop complaining" is fine fishwax Mar 2014 #54
Yes they are. Inkfreak Mar 2014 #62
I am a flamboyant gay man. sibelian Mar 2014 #71
Nonsense JJChambers Mar 2014 #56
And some use "be a man" to pressure others Inkfreak Mar 2014 #65
Sure it can JJChambers Mar 2014 #67
I assure you - there are much worse 3 words. aikoaiko Mar 2014 #57
"Congratulations, you're married" ? The Straight Story Mar 2014 #58
Fur words but waht comes to mind is whistler162 Mar 2014 #60
There are plenty of bad examples of "Be a man". L0oniX Mar 2014 #63
Yes indeed! (nt) Inkfreak Mar 2014 #66
oh FFS... dionysus Mar 2014 #72
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