The 3 Most Damaging Words You Can Tell Your Son

[tandot]

55. I understand. We are going through this with our almost 5-year old son

We are older parents growing up with that stereotype and I am trying very hard to change that.

He comes home from preschool with some really bad stuff ... girls like pink and barbie dolls ... Sarah is odd because she likes to play with cars ... Miles is odd because he plays with dolls. I always ask him who told him that and he usually says the name of one of the other boys there. The teachers do not encourage that. Other parents (YOUNG parents) seem to tell their kids what girls and boys supposed to like and I find that highly offensive. It is a struggle to decide if I want him to be the odd duck and be bullied or just let it go and say nothing.

I always have to make sure that he understands that he can play with whatever, like any color that he wants to, that I, as a girl, LOVED playing with hotwheel cars, etc. I know that sooner or later, it will put him at odds with one of the "be a man" boys, but I hope I am able to help him deal with it.

What really hurt me (as a parent who weighs probably 50 pounds more than I should...and I am working on it) was that he caught me watching the "600 pound life" and said "that is DISGUSTING" ... again, asking why he said that, he mentioned one of the kids in daycare who apparently says that about overweight people. I just HATE that other parents say some really disgusting and awful things in front of their children without even thinking about how it affects them and how the kids just internalize that.

My boy cries. Sometimes he just cries or whines when he wants his will. In those cases, I encourage him to use his words to say what he wants and that only babies cry about things like that because they don't know how to talk yet. If he gets hurt and cries, he gets a big hug and kisses to make it better ... and a reminder that most times, being careful and looking at what he does can prevent many accidents and owies.

And, we also have some family members who say that "be a man" or "boys don't cry" BS. Thank God we don't see them too often.