General Discussion

RC

(25,592 posts)

89. Bad ass screaming and hollering fights are not normal.

Sat Mar 8, 2014, 11:05 AM

Mar 2014

It means something is wrong in the relationship. If children are present, hearing their parents fight like that, that is the definition of a dysfunctional family. Too much verbal fighting, even if nothing physical is going on still causes stress, in both of the people doing the fighting and of the kids present.
Stress that can be hard to deal with alone. Especially if you are the kid being stressed. This stress can result varying levels of the exact same PTSD soldiers experience from the stress of surviving in a war zone.
Kids from dysfunctional homes, grow up to establish dysfunctional families of their own. Many of them think that is normal, because that is all they know. Because that is what their parents taught them.

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I called the cops on a couple a few houses down threatening to assault and kill each other... [View all] Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 OP

if they aren't hitting each other Niceguy1 Mar 2014 #1

Bull-fucking-shit. I grew up in a household where the violence was words and it fucked me up. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #2

I agree it sucks but yelling isnt illegal Niceguy1 Mar 2014 #4

Threatening to kill your partner is illegal, in case you didn't realize that. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #5

Did the cops hear him make those threats? Orrex Mar 2014 #83

Ignore him. You did the right thing BainsBane Mar 2014 #12

I was very nervous when they stopped yelling. If they're yelling, I know they aren't dead. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #20

It's what they know BainsBane Mar 2014 #21

I suppose it's a "world view" to think so little of someone else that you act like that. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #25

it IS ptsd, lovey elehhhhna Mar 2014 #26

You know... pipi_k Mar 2014 #35

I only remember one huge fight my parents had. Jenoch Mar 2014 #54

Must have been pipi_k Mar 2014 #87

Sometimes it is easier to recover from physical injuries than emotional ones FrodosPet Mar 2014 #43

If I can hear it from my house, they are disturbing the peace ProudToBeBlueInRhody Mar 2014 #9

If it's loud enough for neighbors to hear, it could be treestar Mar 2014 #96

Post removed Post removed Mar 2014 #3

Cops hate, hate, hate these calls. Jenoch Mar 2014 #6

They hate the fact that I called or the actual domestic violence? Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #7

No, they wqnt you to call. Jenoch Mar 2014 #17

Nothing will bring two people who love/hate each other together faster.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Mar 2014 #18

so very glad you called, gravity. no telling what might have happened had you not. sometimes, niyad Mar 2014 #45

Yes they do JJChambers Mar 2014 #11

Sorry, but DU don't play that FrodosPet Mar 2014 #47

This message was self-deleted by its author Le Taz Hot Mar 2014 #79

I guess I phrased my post wrong FrodosPet Mar 2014 #80

Just re-read my earlier post FrodosPet Mar 2014 #82

Then I'll delete my post. Le Taz Hot Mar 2014 #84

Of course you also said "DU don't play that" whopis01 Mar 2014 #85

Guilty :-( FrodosPet Mar 2014 #86

I wasn't offended whopis01 Mar 2014 #106

A close family member laundry_queen Mar 2014 #60

She sounds wonderful JJChambers Mar 2014 #91

For good reason. Stepping into the middle of a domestic dispute is tricky and can be... spin Mar 2014 #14

Yep... pipi_k Mar 2014 #39

In my Mom's area, they always, always, always amandabeech Mar 2014 #40

It's called "circling the wagons" ProudToBeBlueInRhody Mar 2014 #8

Boyfriend, not spouse.... MADem Mar 2014 #103

One morning I awoke to the heavy rumble of police and rescue engines outside ProudToBeBlueInRhody Mar 2014 #108

That is a crying shame. I hope there were decent relatives who could take the little farts. MADem Mar 2014 #110

In today's world, they stand a better chance of Politicalboi Mar 2014 #10

not true. not for women. women get killed pretty regularly. elehhhhna Mar 2014 #31

Very true. Women are actually more likely to be killed in their own home by someone they know. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #41

So what is the alternative to the police? FrodosPet Mar 2014 #48

Civilian review boards without any connection to the police department. JoeyT Mar 2014 #72

Excellent suggestions! FrodosPet Mar 2014 #78

I support what you did. proudretiredvet Mar 2014 #13

I'd call the cops ismnotwasm Mar 2014 #15

Based on what I see and hear on a weekly basis, they both seem like real pieces of work. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #16

since there are children involved, can you call cps? niyad Mar 2014 #50

Possibly. But our CPS has gained national attention for being useless. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #52

I am so sorry to hear that. I know that in a lot of cases, including any number that I have niyad Mar 2014 #57

Thank you for caring ismnotwasm Mar 2014 #62

If it helps, Raine1967 Mar 2014 #19

Post removed Post removed Mar 2014 #22

This kind of response is a perfect example of why domestic violence continues. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #23

If my husband and I are hollering our faces off HappyMe Mar 2014 #29

If you or your husband are threatening to assault and/or kill each other, it's my business. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #34

Unanimous Jury Decision. and No, I was not the Alerter, either. Pretty rare to see those results. Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2014 #51

I'm a night worker and I have been awakened by people like you and your husband Skittles Mar 2014 #37

BS-- If ****I**** can hear you, and you are not in my house, than it most certainly has become niyad Mar 2014 #49

I hope you get some perspective JJChambers Mar 2014 #93

If your neighbors can hear you treestar Mar 2014 #98

Flagged for Review. A-Schwarzenegger Mar 2014 #111

WTF is wrong with you? Skittles Mar 2014 #24

WTF is wrong with you? HappyMe Mar 2014 #27

f*** that Skittles Mar 2014 #32

Most of us aren't violent and don't feel the need to stage dramas for our neighbors. liberalmuse Mar 2014 #38

Bad ass screaming and hollering fights are not normal. RC Mar 2014 #89

Apathy. liberalmuse Mar 2014 #28

Honestly, If something happens within my Hearing Range it is My decision to get involved or not. Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2014 #56

My 2nd cousins GP6971 Mar 2014 #30

not petty when he watches "how it's made" over and over and over elehhhhna Mar 2014 #33

How It's Made is an excellent show. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #36

There's really no other way to watch it, I find. Codeine Mar 2014 #55

I've never watched an episode and thought "I didn't want to know how that was made." Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #58

Lol! Sissyk Mar 2014 #44

It seems petty pipi_k Mar 2014 #88

If people start watching individually on iPads and such, will domestic violence go down? FarCenter Mar 2014 #92

What they're fighting about isn't really what they're fighting about Warpy Mar 2014 #104

Good call bpositive Mar 2014 #42

The cops were right, it sucks for everyone including cops, but they had nothing bluestate10 Mar 2014 #46

It was a good idea to call the cops, but I have a question... Violet_Crumble Mar 2014 #53

I was walking home after getting some food so I was actually in front of their house. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #64

You did the right thing calling the cops... Violet_Crumble Mar 2014 #67

Glad you called police. Sounds like they handled it well. Hoyt Mar 2014 #59

So sorry you have to live near Conservatives nikto Mar 2014 #61

haha. Thread Win. Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2014 #68

The "assault" part is what happens... nikto Mar 2014 #107

Better to have called too early than to have called too late. Bonobo Mar 2014 #63

+1 nomorenomore08 Mar 2014 #109

What did you want them to do? Bust down the door without cause? davidn3600 Mar 2014 #65

You did the right thing. The cops did not. AtheistCrusader Mar 2014 #66

If the couple had refused to be "interviewed" nothing could have been done. The bluestate10 Mar 2014 #70

Boy, this post unexpectedly brings up a lot. Had a couple living next door to me in previous house.. villager Mar 2014 #69

^ Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2014 #77

Thanks, Tuesday. Two of those incidents were a long time ago... villager Mar 2014 #100

You should have called the child protective services hot line. In_The_Wind Mar 2014 #71

You did the right thing. JoeyT Mar 2014 #73

What you said pipi_k Mar 2014 #90

I lost it one day because of my neighbors' constant fighting and it worked Tsiyu Mar 2014 #74

If the cops cannot do anything, call the media next time. Guaranteed mfcorey1 Mar 2014 #75

No they won't JJChambers Mar 2014 #94

I have. Not ridiculous. mfcorey1 Mar 2014 #99

You did the right thing. Oral violence is terribly hard on kids; it might have got their attention. Shrike47 Mar 2014 #76

I had a domestic dispute come right to my own home many years ago. NutmegYankee Mar 2014 #81

You did good. Puts the police in a different light... Eleanors38 Mar 2014 #95

Yeah staying under the street light was potentially dangerous but I wanted the police to see me. Gravitycollapse Mar 2014 #101

My heart goes out to the kids living in that house. sufrommich Mar 2014 #97

I sympathize. I used to live across the street from the "Friday Night Fights." MADem Mar 2014 #102

Good for you! etherealtruth Mar 2014 #105