I called the cops on a couple a few houses down threatening to assault and kill each other...

[MADem]

102. I sympathize. I used to live across the street from the "Friday Night Fights."

This asshole would get drunk and start waling on his wife. She'd be howling, he'd be screeching, swearing and hitting. It was all in Korean so I hadn't a clue what they were saying but it got really annoying.

I'd call the cops and hold up the phone so they could hear the commotion--and it was a commotion; the dispatcher would ask if the fight was happening in my home. I'd say "No, these jerks are all the way across the doggone street!" The neighbor to my left and across the road would call as well. The popo car would come, but you could see 'em coming from a ways off, and the perpetrator would duck into the woods and hide; the wife would play the "No speak English" game.

This would happen over and over again. Lather, rinse, repeat. After the first few times they'd bring along the Korean language speaker so the "No Understand" bullshit didn't fly. Eventually it abated--not sure if he just kept the doors closed while he was doing his beating, or what. It could be they told the wife they'd come and arrest him anyway, even if she didn't press charges.

Worst neighbor I have EVER had--I wasn't sorry to move out of that place; that guy just made the neighborhood suck.