Adam Lanza’s Father, in First Public Comments, Says ‘You Can’t Get Any More Evil’

[haele]

186. Is it disavowing a child to recognize when they did something terrible?

He makes it clear he wishes he could have helped Adam, that he could have done something that would change the course of the boy's life. In fact, for years he had been disavowed by his son and his ex, who apparently lied consistently and wanted to control their damaged son without the father's input.
He called his son at the end "evil", because of the evil the damaged young man who had been coddled in his rage had done, and there was nothing he could do to change that fact. The rage had taken over. The son he loved was barely there.
Adam, the son he loved, had gotten to the point in his rage and delusions that he would have just as easily killed his father or any siblings in the house if he had the chance at the end when he killed his mother.

Peter Lanza has to live with the nightmarish scenario of constant "if only I could haves" for the rest of his life ... when there was very little more he could have done that was within his rights and responsibilities as a non-custodial parent under the legal system of this country. His ex-wife in her delusions called the shots, as it were.

The question I see running through this thread seems to be - If I do evil, is it wrong for my loved ones to call my actions - and by implication, me - evil?
Or is it even more pitiable for them to try to justify their personal reality and deny what I did was evil and there was something wrong with me in doing so, because they don't want to admit that someone they love - or they themselves - can do something so purposefully terrible in such a casual manner?

My parents were generally good people who were generous, positive, logical, and loving. If I am a sociopath, or have a psychosis, that has nothing to do with the way they raised me. My question to others would be, as good parents, do they have "the responsibility to stand by me" and try and justify their love for me against my actions no matter what?
Or can they say "We love our daughter, but we recognize she has problems and acted in an evil (or selfishly manipulative) manner and did something terribly wrong?"

Sometimes, the best thing a parent can do is try to pick up the pieces and mitigate the damage to others who may be in the path of an emotionally damaged adult child.

Philosophically, I have more pity for someone who cannot face that anyone has the potential to be responsible for doing evil or is afraid that their adult children's actions are always reflection on their "failure to parent properly".

Haele