General Discussion

frazzled

(18,402 posts)

11. It makes you feel better, but it makes other people feel horrible

Sun Mar 23, 2014, 01:54 PM

Mar 2014

If you're talking about personal acquaintances with whom you have a real dispute, that's fine. Tell them off and the relationship will be ended. (You may be right, you may be wrong; I don't know. But you have the right to live with the consequences of severing relationships with friends and family.)

But if we're talking about people venting rage and anger at people they don't even know, and possibly have misunderstood, on the Internet—that's not fine. If you tell someone they deserve to die (because of a mere opinion!), you may feel better, but the person on the receiving end of that horrible statement feels very haunted for a long time. Believe me, I know: it's happened to me on DU.

Thinking only of how your words make you feel is pretty selfish, imo. As liberals, I feel we have an obligation to behave with moderate civility to others in our society, no matter how much we may disagree with them. And especially in the anonymous Internet context, where you have no idea whatsoever of who that person is, or what their feelings are.

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DU Members, please read: The Lost Art of the Unsent Angry Letter [View all] Scuba Mar 2014 OP

Such a great thread. Thanks so much for posting KittyWampus Mar 2014 #1

Many a time I have cancelled a post. progressoid Mar 2014 #2

Someone said "It's easy to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and don't say it." Scuba Mar 2014 #3

I've done the same, it gets a lot of the frustration out! Agschmid Mar 2014 #9

I haven't cancelled enough posts in recent months... Blue_Tires Mar 2014 #20

Comment sections on the internet are a wasteland of thoughts that should have remained unclicked. NightWatcher Mar 2014 #4

agreed nt steve2470 Mar 2014 #24

I have little self-control when it comes to getting angry and if people piss me off, Vashta Nerada Mar 2014 #5

I typically walk the same line. adirondacker Mar 2014 #7

It makes you feel better, but it makes other people feel horrible frazzled Mar 2014 #11

I don't threaten people with death or tell them they deserve to die because I disagree with them. Vashta Nerada Mar 2014 #12

Being effective is more useful than being a "insensitive jerk," though. MineralMan Mar 2014 #16

so true steve2470 Mar 2014 #25

Funny I haven't seen this "regret" yet... VanillaRhapsody Mar 2014 #6

Yeah, and that liberal quality of forebearance HereSince1628 Mar 2014 #8

I do that a lot here. SheilaT Mar 2014 #10

A fair percentage of my posts don't see the light of day. Kaleva Mar 2014 #13

Recced ConservativeDemocrat Mar 2014 #14

Very good post! MineralMan Mar 2014 #15

I have had the �shoulda said syndrome�upon occasion. donco Mar 2014 #17

Sometimes, when someone on DU really pisses me off... Skinner Mar 2014 #18

ignore saves my sanity nt steve2470 Mar 2014 #22

Kick! Heidi Mar 2014 #19

I think most of us could benefit Le Taz Hot Mar 2014 #21

I find myself getting better at policing my hot headed responses. herding cats Mar 2014 #23

Thank you. GoneOffShore Mar 2014 #26

I put down my frustration and anger in an email and send it to in an email myself for safe keeping. peace13 Mar 2014 #27

I do that all the time, right here on DU. LWolf Mar 2014 #28