Duck Dynasty star: Gays are going to hell is ‘what the Bible says’

[jmowreader]

15. The passage doesn't say "shellfish"

It says, "anything in the water that hath not fins nor scales, that shall be an abomination unto you." This means that not only are shellfish prohibited, but crustaceans like crawdads, lobsters and crabs, and also catfish.

I used to pass a Pentecostal church every morning on my way to work. One fine day this was on the church sign:

'Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind; it is abomination.' - Lev. 18.22

Oyster Roast - Sunday

The problem with this sign is, the same book of the Bible that tells you not to screw other men also tells you not to eat oysters. And to me, the part about oysters was more important than the part about screwing men. Here's why:

Go through Leviticus 18 and you'll notice one common thread: all the sex acts they don't want you doing are ones that won't make healthy Levite babies. We know fucking your relatives leads to all your less-than-pleasant recessive traits becoming dominant. We know fucking other guys' wives leads to their husbands sending very large men to your house to cut off your dick and then your head. And we know gay sex doesn't lead to pregnancy. But here's the thing: You have six wives. You got all of them pregnant. Women can only maintain one pregnancy at a time. Until one of your wives has her child and is ready to get pregnant again, you can have all the gay sex you want and not affect the production of Levites one whit.

Understanding the oyster prohibition requires knowing about the three forms of shellfish poisoning - neurotoxic, paralytic and amnesic. They come from microorganisms in the water and they can be lethal. I am certain the doctors back then saw lots of this and learned that the people presenting with it had all eaten clams or oysters. They didn't have marine biologists in biblical times to track the red tides. They did know that if they put "this is abomination" in the laws, people would stop eating shellfish and the problem would be solved. That is what they did.

So...no gay sex because you need to reserve your dick for making babies...or no shellfish because they might kill you. Which is more important?