In 1987, a radical feminist called all sexual contact "degrading to women" and "rape."

[tblue37]

433. The concept of rape culture is NOT an accusation against *men*, so it is not about

tarring all men with guilt for the crimes committed by 3% of men. Rape culture refers to pervasive cultural attitudes and institutions and to the features of the social environment we all participate in, not to whether men as a group deserve to share in the guilt of those who commit sexual assaults.

The fact that it is considered *normal* for women to asssume that they are at risk for sexual violence in so many situations, and that they must therefore take all sorts of precautions to protect themselves from being raped, even in situations in which a man would not fear being a victim of criminal assault, is a sign of rape culture.

Yes, it would be foolish for people to saunter unprotected at night in a high crime area, because they are likely to be mugged, perhaps even killed if they do.

But should a person really need to feel *the same* expectation of criminal assault if he or she attends a party in a perfectly respectable area, in the company of supposedly law-abiding people of good reputation? Are men taught never to attend such a party alone, never let their drink out of their sight, never let themselves be alone with another party-goer or accept a ride from someone else, because if they do, they are quite likely to be mugged or even killed?

No, because unlike sauntering foolishly along a dark street in a high-crime area, attending a party in a "safe" area among supposedly law-abiding citizens is not supposed to be as dangerous as walking heedlessly through a minefield. Yet women have to be taught to treat what should be safe situations as if they are as dangerous as being alone at night in a high-crime area, because for a woman, being among "respectable" people in a safe area is *assumed* to be potentially *unsafe* in a way that it is NOT presumed to be unsafe for a man.

That is not because most of the men at such a party would rape her, nor does it mean that most of them would consider it okay if someone did rape her (though we know some might do one and some might think the other). It is because as a society we have accepted it as normal that women must be on guard at all times against rape, because unlike other kinds of assaultive crime, which people are unlikely to be victims of unless they go somewhere or do something unquestionably unsafe, and unlike other such crimes, which men are at least as likely as women to fall victim to, if not more so, the threat of rape and other sorts of sexual violence is something that most women are aware of whenever they are alone and not barricaded behind locked doors, or whenever they are in the presence of a man they do not know well enough to trust absolutely.

And as some DU survivors' stories have shown, even knowing and trusting a man is not always a guarantee that the woman will not be raped.

Imagine, men, if you went to a party knowing that if you didn't watch your drink, didn't make sure you were never alone, didn't accept *any* offer of a ride from someone (even an acquaintance), didn't make sure you never got a bit tipsy--that if you didn't take ALL of those precautions, then there was a real chance that someone, maybe even someone you knew, would grab the opportunity to beat you up and take your wallet. Then, if you complained about it afterward, your friends would say that what happened was too bad, but why didn't you take reasonable precautions? Everyone knows that getting beaten and robbed is something that can happen to a man if he goes to a party and then let's himself get separated from his other male friends, doesn't stay sober/watch his drink, gets alone into a car with someone other than the friends he came to the party with, etc.

And then, if he decides to file a police report, imagine the cops treating his being beaten and robbed at a party with his peers as something trivial and besides that, something that he should have expected and taken those "sensible" precautions against.

See? That is why rape and other forms of sexual violence are not like mugging, murder, etc. In terms of being free of the risk of sexual assault, no place is really "safe" for a woman, and a woman who leaves herself "vulnerable" might even be assaulted by someone she knows and believed she could trust. That is not true of other sorts of crime.