General Discussion

NickB79

(20,298 posts)

26. I can relate

Fri Apr 4, 2014, 06:41 AM

Apr 2014

In college I knew a woman who was prone to severe depression, self-cutting, drug use, etc. One night we had friends over, and everyone went to bed or home except the two of us. When I implied it was time for me to get some sleep, she started talking about suicide. This scared the hell out of me, so I told her she could crash in my room. As I was drifting off to sleep I feel her start to grope me. When I asked her to stop she again started talking about her loneliness and how she should kill herself.

I ended up having sex with her even though I didn't want to. I wasn't even able to orgasm, but it was good enough for her.

The next day I barely got through my first class before I had a panic attack and ran to the campus counseling center where I broke down in tears to the first free counselor available.

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Study: 43% of young men say they have been sexually coerced by women [View all] davidn3600 Apr 2014 OP

why? you know what's about to happen. nt dionysus Apr 2014 #1

A thoughtful discussion of a scientific article that shows a pervasive social problem? Perhaps. kelly1mm Apr 2014 #2

would be nice if true. i think everyone knows how these type of threads end up these days. dionysus Apr 2014 #3

The inferno hasn't erupted yet. HubertHeaver Apr 2014 #7

Yeah, why do people post stuff that is going to annoy some DUers? Nye Bevan Apr 2014 #12

+1. Frankly, I'm disgusted by that first post. closeupready Apr 2014 #51

be disgusted all you want. anyone who reads DU knows this leads to a flame war. dionysus Apr 2014 #60

Yes, I'm VERY disgusted at your attempt to silence this discussion. closeupready Apr 2014 #61

calm down there pal, i don't have the ability to "silence" anything on DU. dionysus Apr 2014 #66

I hope not because this study isn't worth a flame war. It's about as reliable as an Internet poll. Comrade Grumpy Apr 2014 #62

all i meant was, post any gender based OP on DU and watch it become a several hundred post flame war dionysus Apr 2014 #65

aw hell, it wasn't even a random sample? hfojvt Apr 2014 #95

Guess this one flamed out. Rex Apr 2014 #89

i know, my guess was wrong. usually there are epic trainwrecks of subthread! dionysus Apr 2014 #108

I was surprised to see this thread with no epic sub-thread. Rex Apr 2014 #110

i see it as a drive by post meant to piss off the HOF people. dionysus Apr 2014 #68

excuse me, but I happen to find that annoying hfojvt Apr 2014 #88

Sure he knows. Iggo Apr 2014 #59

Coerced envelopment? nt Bonobo Apr 2014 #4

I think their sample size is way too small hfojvt Apr 2014 #5

i think there overall sample sizes were not too bad. effects sizes were small La Lioness Priyanka Apr 2014 #10

Odd the usual suspects are ignoring this! nt Logical Apr 2014 #6

you know that it is the middle of the night, right? people may just be sleeping La Lioness Priyanka Apr 2014 #8

The DU never sleeps! :-) Logical Apr 2014 #9

Third shift only handles emergency alerts ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2014 #79

I am far more fascinated by... Ohio Joe Apr 2014 #97

Unfortunately, 72% of the same group could not define the term "coerce". NYC_SKP Apr 2014 #11

Does the article say that? Larry the Cable Dude Apr 2014 #20

Pretty much. cui bono Apr 2014 #75

How is this outside the definition? Major Nikon Apr 2014 #80

That is hardly coercion. cui bono Apr 2014 #82

coerce: to make (someone) do something by using force OR threats Major Nikon Apr 2014 #85

That's not the sort of threat that forces you to do something though. cui bono Apr 2014 #86

You could say the same thing about most who are in an abusive relationship Major Nikon Apr 2014 #90

It's stil la form of coersion Scootaloo Apr 2014 #100

Have you never loved? ZombieHorde Apr 2014 #96

Right back atcha. n/t cui bono Apr 2014 #106

I'm highly skeptical until evidence is presented otherwise. CFLDem Apr 2014 #29

It's right in the article. cui bono Apr 2014 #77

I believe it. McDiggy Apr 2014 #13

Wow Dorian Gray Apr 2014 #21

sorry mercuryblues Apr 2014 #117

A broad view of coercion treestar Apr 2014 #14

I have literally never seen anyone on this site argue dsc Apr 2014 #17

I remember a rather heated exchange I had on DU KitSileya Apr 2014 #24

nice move of the goal posts dsc Apr 2014 #31

nagging and threatening though hfojvt Apr 2014 #94

Right. And the verbal coercion accounts for 31%. cui bono Apr 2014 #81

Post removed Post removed Apr 2014 #34

Lover Boy and I were out with friends when the topic of Nuclear Unicorn Apr 2014 #45

Now that IS amusing tkmorris Apr 2014 #113

Oh boy! hobbit709 Apr 2014 #15

Uh huh... 99Forever Apr 2014 #18

Interesting, I guess. AverageJoe90 Apr 2014 #16

Once again safeinOhio Apr 2014 #19

I think it's likely.. sendero Apr 2014 #22

I think it's just more of a recently noticed phenomenon Major Nikon Apr 2014 #42

only a mercuryblues Apr 2014 #116

I was thinking more along the lines of being accused of being impotent Major Nikon Apr 2014 #118

I get what mercuryblues Apr 2014 #121

Several times. And in one way it's tougher on guys as we have to perform... Demo_Chris Apr 2014 #23

Message auto-removed Name removed Apr 2014 #25

I can relate NickB79 Apr 2014 #26

I had a crazy chick who would grope me on the schoolbus CFLDem Apr 2014 #27

18%, though? WinkyDink Apr 2014 #41

Post removed Post removed Apr 2014 #48

. pintobean Apr 2014 #50

I don't understand the weight comment. Marr Apr 2014 #64

Unfortunately I cannot articulate the point CFLDem Apr 2014 #70

Ah, no need. Marr Apr 2014 #71

. AngryAmish Apr 2014 #73

Stop that! Comrade Grumpy Apr 2014 #109

"No" means "no". And don't just get "consent", get *enthusiastic* consent (nt) Nye Bevan Apr 2014 #28

"Physical force"? Yeah, I'm still pondering that claim. WinkyDink Apr 2014 #30

Small guy, big woman CFLDem Apr 2014 #32

The study's creators - Hell Hath No Fury Apr 2014 #39

This message was self-deleted by its author CFLDem Apr 2014 #53

30 year old teacher, 13 year old boy. closeupready Apr 2014 #54

well women do get men to do.. Niceguy1 Apr 2014 #33

Like what? CFLDem Apr 2014 #35

Not in a healthy relationship chrisa Apr 2014 #44

Part of why I'm glad I'm gay. closeupready Apr 2014 #55

A junior high classmate would call me and talk dirty. MindPilot Apr 2014 #36

Were they bragging about it or complaining about it? badtoworse Apr 2014 #37

hmm... ananda Apr 2014 #38

^ Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #74

Ananda, I think you are very much on target. Jackpine Radical Apr 2014 #91

I have no doubt this happens, and it's wrong. Nine Apr 2014 #40

Gender topics touch emotional buttons for many Major Nikon Apr 2014 #43

"Gender topics touch emotional buttons for many" Nuclear Unicorn Apr 2014 #47

... Major Nikon Apr 2014 #49

Post removed Post removed Apr 2014 #46

Wish they had been raped? What if she transmitted sexual diseases to him? closeupready Apr 2014 #56

^^^RAPE CULTURE^^^ CFLDem Apr 2014 #58

First of all, how were these boys, or men, dressed? It appears that they "wanted it", and were just Zorra Apr 2014 #52

Is this a study with a self-selected sample? Like an Internet poll? Comrade Grumpy Apr 2014 #57

you men make it so easy, in the arguin'. we have a host from mens group calling out hof seabeyond Apr 2014 #63

And we smugly tell ourselves rap music about pimping and whoring is offensive. closeupready Apr 2014 #84

Considering the definitions, I'm surprised the answer wasn't 100%. pnwmom Apr 2014 #67

Yeah but these are the same questions that the same type of studies ask women davidn3600 Apr 2014 #103

"forced a kiss on you that you didn't want" isn't the same thing. pnwmom Apr 2014 #111

that struck me as well ...? etherealtruth Apr 2014 #114

I thought that too. Someone else mentioned the skewed questions upthread riderinthestorm Apr 2014 #107

Something like this happened to me when I was 17. Marr Apr 2014 #69

Can we all say "BOGUS" together? Warpy Apr 2014 #72

Wow, what an interesting statement.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2014 #76

Sounds quite a bit like victim blaming Major Nikon Apr 2014 #83

The difference is a cultural one, boys are not supposed to be able to control their libidos Warpy Apr 2014 #93

I still don't understand one thing you are trying to say.... ProudToBeBlueInRhody Apr 2014 #122

Blaming the victim is frowned upon when it's women 1000words Apr 2014 #87

Happened to me in College. dilby Apr 2014 #99

Well, Mrs. Robinson is a different phenomenon Warpy Apr 2014 #104

Sexual coercion, no matter what gender does it, is wrong. Vashta Nerada Apr 2014 #78

verbally coerced? blueamy66 Apr 2014 #92

This Requires Massive Corroboration ProfessorGAC Apr 2014 #98

the only real prob i have with this study is i would like to see a sex comparison La Lioness Priyanka Apr 2014 #101

I agree with your last point, salin Apr 2014 #112

Did the study ask how many knew what the word "coerced" means? Lex Apr 2014 #102

FYI: the LOWEST analogous statistic I can find for women is 52% and the highest is 75%. LeftyMom Apr 2014 #105

Read the Limitations and Future Research section. idendoit Apr 2014 #115

It was comedy fodder on Bill Mahr. Behind the Aegis Apr 2014 #119

This message was self-deleted by its author Midwestern Democrat Apr 2014 #120