'Monuments Men' made me want to punch film critics very hard right in the nose. [View all]

[byronius]

And what color blood came out?

I finally managed to see that film on the last showing of its last day in theaters in this area. I haven't seen a film like that in years; it was a work of art about art, and the significance of art to humanity.

Considering the stream of general crap coming out of Hollywood, I believe it was a social crime for a critic to say 'Meh' to this film. Yes, they live in the industry bubble. Yes, they have to critically analyze films. But this film -- this single film --

I blubbered through a lot of it. It deals with issues close to my heart -- WWII and art -- so it is indeed, clearly, Byron-bait. Freely admitted.

But every element of that film was so effing beautiful -- incredible performances, cinematography, timing, attachment to hard historical fact -- good lord, to crap on a film like that is like sneering at 'It's A Wonderful Life' or the 'Wizard Of Oz'. To sneer at a film like that and thereby depress theater attendance for it (I had friends who avoided it because the reviews were 'meh') is to damage the institution of film, to dumb down the world, to Starbuck the public taste even further.

Social crime. Because that film was a gorgeous work of art. And that film contained one of the most moving scenes I have ever witnessed onstage or onscreen, a Christmas moment between Bill Murray and Bob Balaban that should serve as an example of the perfect filmic technique. It was GODDAMNED BRILLIANT.

So, if I spend a few days in jail for assaulting a film industry politico too buried in their own ass to recognize GODDAMNED GENIUS -- it will be worth it. I'm not going to hunt one down, but if I ever meet one of those dissenting critics, perhaps just in passing, I'm going to be requesting an ice pack for my swollen knuckles from the confines of my tidy little white-walled cell.

George Clooney made this film. And that makes George Clooney awesome. And I'm buying the DVD first day out.