I could kick myself. A young woman politely stopped me in food store parking lot, needing money

[johnlucas]

69. NEVER give money. If you're gonna give, give the ITEM

Good don't have to be dumb, you know.
See TVTropes for the reference (Good Is Dumb vs. Good Is Not Dumb).

If your money is going to further enhance somebody's crookedness, you haven't done anything useful.

Most people are not gonna be in that type of predicament in this country.
Food banks exist & only if there's not one in your town should you consider someone with a food emergency.

My rule of thumb is to give the item if you decide to give something.
That way you'll be more certain they are sincere in what they're asking for.

I was at a bus station during a layover & had a packaged hamburger bought from the previous station.
A man came up to me asking for a few dollars for something to eat.
Without hesitation, I picked up my unopened & warm hamburger out of my bag & offered it to him.
This was a big deal since this was a long trip & I didn't have much to eat on the trip.
All of a sudden he said "that's OK" & walked away without the burger.
I put my hamburger back.

Dude was out for beer money or drug money.

One time I saw a homeless man in a stairwell at work.
He said he was hungry.
I said I could get some things out of the snack machines & asked him what he wanted to eat.
I had just told him what the selections were.
He said pork rinds, a Snickers bar, & a Sunkist.
I bought the items & brought them back to the man.
He was thankful & ate/drank the items.

He was sincere.

There's nothing wrong with helping people but be smart about how you do it.
Don't enable drug abusers or petty crooks with their hustles.

The honest truth is that if the lady needed gas money, they could have returned a few items to the store & got some of their money back.
If anything, you could have just covered the cost of her food items.
She didn't need money for gas, I bet money on it.

How are you gonna go all the way into town grocery shopping & not realize you don't have enough gas?
If you live in any decent sized city or town, I bet money there's a food bank in a church or designated building somewhere.
If the family's going through times THAT rough, they should be referred there so won't have to spend so much money on food.
One thing America got down is the food situation.
At least we won't let you go hungry in this country.

Kindness doesn't HAVE to be weakness.
Use your judgment wisely before you give to others.
All may not be what it appears to be.

If someone was cold & homeless, I'll buy them a blanket AND THEN give them the card to the homeless shelter.
If someone was hungry, I'll buy them some food AND THEN give them the card to the food bank for future emergencies.
I don't take chances on hitchhikers.
And those guys with the cardboard signs panhandling on the highways, I ignore.
And I NEVER just give direct money anymore.

You may feel good about giving money thinking you're helping others.
But so do the old ladies giving money to those crooked televangelists.
Make your money work EFFECTIVELY so you will see less people on the streets having to beg for it.

Have a heart but be streetsmart.
John Lucas