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CFLDem

(2,083 posts)

94. My only regret

Reply to Tuesday Afternoon (Reply #75)

Fri Apr 11, 2014, 02:02 PM

Apr 2014

is that I wish I could more. But I am only one man!

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'Get your arse out, mate': we turn the tables on everyday sexism [View all] boston bean Apr 2014 OP

You know what was interesting treestar Apr 2014 #1

People are individuals IronLionZion Apr 2014 #2

It's no less suspect when it is frequent. Hope you're not arguing bettyellen Apr 2014 #3

Of course not! nt IronLionZion Apr 2014 #4

A few people here have said that- and also that the women complaining bettyellen Apr 2014 #6

thank you for expressing the issue, .... seabeyond Apr 2014 #10

I think when we are discussing societal issues, the "people are individuals" thing is a derail...... bettyellen Apr 2014 #14

i agree. when i am in a mood, and totally sick and tired of it, i will do it back. seabeyond Apr 2014 #16

I get pissed off at how restricted I felt sometimes- don't eat an ice cream cone in midtown, don't bettyellen Apr 2014 #21

fuck. do not even say out loud you are having a cone. you can say, ... you really really want one seabeyond Apr 2014 #23

I am not those people IronLionZion Apr 2014 #85

I appreciate your clarifications, ILZ! bettyellen Apr 2014 #95

When it's frequent gollygee Apr 2014 #5

not to mention so fuggin old. so so so so so fuggin old. after deaces. what? 3? as early as it seabeyond Apr 2014 #11

I realized at one point it was more frequent when I was feeling weak or down and not actually as bettyellen Apr 2014 #13

interesting. you made me think. my question would be. could it have been seabeyond Apr 2014 #17

No, the frequency almost doubled. It struck me hard one day how weak and shitty I looked and that bettyellen Apr 2014 #19

i have felt that.... "made NO sense that I would arouse that much extra attention." seabeyond Apr 2014 #25

well, I obviously was not practicing the best self care. I was raggedy. And that can be a visual bettyellen Apr 2014 #28

I strongly agree, "it was more like trying to cull the weak from the herd." nt raccoon Apr 2014 #70

well, prior to that I believed it had a strong connection to looking "good" in a conventional way. bettyellen Apr 2014 #88

Make my day? Bernardo de La Paz Apr 2014 #7

+10000 sinkingfeeling Apr 2014 #8

this is a favorite. a total favorite. conclusion. how totally exhausting it is. nt seabeyond Apr 2014 #12

This has been done before, everybody reacts how they react snooper2 Apr 2014 #78

that was great NJCher Apr 2014 #9

Cher! I went to Ploch's for pansies! LOL. Hope you are well! bettyellen Apr 2014 #15

I like how most of the guys didn't care or just laughed LittleBlue Apr 2014 #18

so you think harassing women is amusing- good to know. Thanks for showing us your cards. bettyellen Apr 2014 #20

That video is of a woman propositioning men LittleBlue Apr 2014 #22

Oh bullshit, you made it very clear you think the issue is all a big joke. No walking back now. bettyellen Apr 2014 #24

The issue of harassing men in the street? LittleBlue Apr 2014 #26

Just more proof CFLDem Apr 2014 #33

BUT...if it happened all day every day Tsiyu Apr 2014 #48

I actually don't think the problem is that bad CFLDem Apr 2014 #50

We're telling you- not asking you- that it is a problem. Your validation means zip, nada, zilch.... bettyellen Apr 2014 #66

What specifically leads you to believe it's not a consistent problem in the US? LanternWaste Apr 2014 #90

I actually don't think you are a woman Tsiyu Apr 2014 #129

Mrs CFLDem is a woman CFLDem Apr 2014 #130

"It isn't that bad" implies Tsiyu Apr 2014 #132

If your wife avoided sexist comments or harassment, I'm glad for her. cyberswede Apr 2014 #134

It's clear you didn't read that poster's post. Vashta Nerada Apr 2014 #112

it's completely clear he thinks it's all a big laugh. but too much of a chicken to say so directly bettyellen Apr 2014 #120

It was illuminating in exactly the way she intended. cyberswede Apr 2014 #61

If she intended to show that these men weren't offended LittleBlue Apr 2014 #72

The men were taken aback and surprised. cyberswede Apr 2014 #76

Everyone knows how odd it is for men LittleBlue Apr 2014 #93

"It's only stunning because it never happens..." cyberswede Apr 2014 #100

Many males would enjoy that if it were genuine LittleBlue Apr 2014 #108

You keep telling yourself that. cyberswede Apr 2014 #110

I was wondering that about you LittleBlue Apr 2014 #111

I saw men being taken aback by what the woman said to them. cyberswede Apr 2014 #113

I saw men confused and bemused LittleBlue Apr 2014 #114

I didn't say it bothered the men... cyberswede Apr 2014 #115

I do believe he clearly thinks this behavior is okay. And for him it is, since it never happens. bettyellen Apr 2014 #128

They were shocked. Fawke Em Apr 2014 #80

So some guys are jerks CFLDem Apr 2014 #27

too many guys, and we're working on fixing that. thanks for your support! bettyellen Apr 2014 #29

Too many? CFLDem Apr 2014 #30

women talking about experience from 12'ish to well into the 40's and beyond? could THAT be TOO many? seabeyond Apr 2014 #31

Uh huh CFLDem Apr 2014 #32

ha. ? with uh hu. plan to solve. look up derailing 101. off to play dude. seabeyond Apr 2014 #34

So i take it there is no plan? CFLDem Apr 2014 #36

no. do not take it there is no plan. seabeyond Apr 2014 #38

Ok then why all the secrecy and diversions? CFLDem Apr 2014 #39

there is no secrecy. and you are the only one diverting. we women and some men seabeyond Apr 2014 #40

So what is my position? CFLDem Apr 2014 #47

This message was self-deleted by its author Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #59

amount of people who should harass me while out in the streets? ZERO. you have a problem with that? bettyellen Apr 2014 #44

Actually no one should be harassed at anytime. CFLDem Apr 2014 #49

It has been changing, slowly, for the better. Did you not realize this crap was common and accepted bettyellen Apr 2014 #56

Thanks CFLDem Apr 2014 #62

So, I should be harassed and be silent about it to make you happy, LOL? Are you fucking joking? bettyellen Apr 2014 #68

I don't know why this discussion attracts me. CFLDem Apr 2014 #74

LOL, your best comment today. Thanks for the laugh. bettyellen Apr 2014 #81

heh. yeah, I was thinking the same thing bettyellen - Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #92

Well, the more of us who raise our boys NOT to act that way, that will help. cyberswede Apr 2014 #65

^^^ THIS ^^^THANK YOU ^^^ Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #102

It blows my mind that his does not occur to more men. you all can help shut this down too. bettyellen Apr 2014 #109

it's not their call anymore what is important,those fellas have got to get over that notion. seabeyond Apr 2014 #117

and to realize that we never asked for their approval of this discussion- yet they persist in bettyellen Apr 2014 #119

once they actually realize what you are saying, they will actually stumble over the concept seabeyond Apr 2014 #121

well, it does tend to shut them up. because admitting they actually aren't any authority here is bettyellen Apr 2014 #122

point... nt seabeyond Apr 2014 #124

from the mercuryblues Apr 2014 #35

you said it so well. i was gonna highlight the first apragraph. but... you did not seabeyond Apr 2014 #37

yes. yes. yes. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #60

I miss women complimenting my ass FrodosPet Apr 2014 #41

perhaps it's your dismissive attitude about sexism they find a turn off? bettyellen Apr 2014 #46

How would they know that just by looking at him? CFLDem Apr 2014 #52

....if he is looking at them a certain way, or god forbid opens his mouth, LOL. bettyellen Apr 2014 #57

Thank goodness I have my sense of humor! FrodosPet Apr 2014 #131

"sexually interested women" seabeyond Apr 2014 #133

Nice leap there! FrodosPet Apr 2014 #135

no anger, no leap. no clarifying and correcting on your part. how about this, my friend. seabeyond Apr 2014 #136

I mean that some women like sex, like talking about it, joking about it FrodosPet Apr 2014 #137

yes, lots of women like sex and they like talking dirty with men they CHOOSE to talk dirty with. seabeyond Apr 2014 #139

poor baby. perhaps you would prefer the alternative to growing old ... Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #63

Ahh brimming with compassion today, I see. CFLDem Apr 2014 #64

I see you are still incapable of following simple instruction. Not surprised. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #69

Would you prefer it for me? FrodosPet Apr 2014 #138

I prefer that you live long enough to grow into a man that I would be proud to know Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #140

The signboard at the pub really underscored the point suffragette Apr 2014 #42

So, you turn the tables on sexism MO_Moderate Apr 2014 #43

Ugh... No. Just no. chrisa Apr 2014 #45

Hallelujah! CFLDem Apr 2014 #55

We have silently ignored this type of man for years. What do you suggest we do about men like this? Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #71

Firmly tell them to cut it out CFLDem Apr 2014 #73

Thanks for posting your picture. and, Thanks for showing how presumptive you are. I am sure Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #75

I'm male. It's hard to tell on the Internet sometimes. chrisa Apr 2014 #83

exactly but, thanks for sharing and Yes, I wrongly assumed you were Female due to the Username. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #87

Np :P chrisa Apr 2014 #96

My only regret CFLDem Apr 2014 #94

and even that is debatable ... Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #103

Thanks Tuesday CFLDem Apr 2014 #105

Bring him into the light and embarrass him chrisa Apr 2014 #77

I don't know, those men looked pretty embarrassed to me. Seems some light was shed on the issue - Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #84

There has to be a better way w/o hurting innocent people, imo. chrisa Apr 2014 #86

are you honestly thinking these men were hurt in some way? Do you not think that afterwards all was Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #89

I don't think they were hurt afterwards, but the behavior itself is bad, even if to make a point. chrisa Apr 2014 #98

In order to eradicate a behavior it must first be exposed for the negative behavior it is. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #99

What to do like men about that? Hop on DU and tell men not doing it they are sexist The Straight Story Apr 2014 #101

Why don't you heed your own advice? Else wise your post no sense. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #123

but... da doors. seabeyond Apr 2014 #125

Lol Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #126

translation- it's not about me, smoking in bars or gun rights so I don't give a shit, LOL. bettyellen Apr 2014 #127

The problem with a lot of these "turn the tables" videos... davidn3600 Apr 2014 #51

and SOME men actually think. that makes it worth it to me seabeyond Apr 2014 #53

Thank you lord CFLDem Apr 2014 #54

Agree partially. And spooky3 Apr 2014 #58

*** " ... instead, they are wondering if this woman is crazy." *** Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #67

I think the dudes that do it are crazy- delusional, creepy assholes. Unfortunately that can be a bettyellen Apr 2014 #79

wow. Sorry that happened to you, bettyellen and it only serves to reinforce the thinking ... Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #91

thanks, TA. I am a pretty hard case, but graphic rape and death threats are tough for anyone to hear bettyellen Apr 2014 #97

Verbal Aggression is nasty. I am honestly surprised that it doesn't lead to retaliation any more Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #104

I am not one to strike anyone, I'd have to be defending someone or myself. bettyellen Apr 2014 #107

I understand. Subconsciously the bullies know this, too. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #118

Maybe because they might hit back? And generally a slap from a man is more physically raccoon Apr 2014 #141

I honestly don't know what the reaction would be. A lot of men in the movies get a drink Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #142

mine was about 11, in line, hand seabeyond Apr 2014 #143

I was embarrassed, too. Of course, he was too because the whole lunch line laughed. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #144

so. what the men can note. young girls. minding their own business. their physical integrity seabeyond Apr 2014 #145

yes ... Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #146

the boy child was naturally (as in nature) curious seabeyond Apr 2014 #147

Not all parents teach their children appropriate manners and behavior, seabeyond. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #148

Absolutely, two different situations. And mine was middle school so I might have been 12 and seabeyond Apr 2014 #149

Wouldn't it be interesting if we could speak to thse two males and, ask about their memory of the Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #150

i've done something as simple as calling a woman a dick, and the look on guys' faces is indeed TheFrenchRazor Apr 2014 #116

I have a heck of a time understanding them. CC didn't help. nt raccoon Apr 2014 #82

More or less a "Brown Eyes/Blue Eyes" program. Behind the Aegis Apr 2014 #106

I'm not certain what many people were seeing... Shandris Apr 2014 #151