Is this blog post intolerant of the transgendered?

[RainDog]

145. Which is why I also say so many of these fights

are about personalities who have staked a claim about one person or another.

One time, in the past, I went back to look at what someone had said in a thread where that person (who I don't think I've ever had anything to say to here, fwiw) and, from my pov, here's what happened:

(I could provide a series of links if anyone cares to follow up to check my understanding - ask and I will - but I'm about to start on a big project and will have to stop procrastinating here... which I'm sure will make many happy...lol)

anyway, in a protected group, people (I don't know if it was all women or not) were talking about abuse of children by adults - talking about their personal experience with the same as children.

First - let me say that I don't think that's a good thing to do on a public site for anyone who is still processing such things, emotionally. The reason is that they may be vulnerable and don't need to hear things from others who don't understand. Private group therapy sorts of things for such can be great - but I question the value of such things on a public board - for the sake of those who have been harmed.

anyway, someone wondered into that thread, not knowing it was a protected group for women and made a statement about using "I" sentences to frame experience... " I felt" rather than "He made me feel."

This is classic, basic stuff from therapy - owning your emotions, and not meant to say someone who abused another person was in any way not responsible for his/her actions - it's about saying those actions don't define you - the emotions are within your capacity to control b/c you felt them. It's part of empowerment.

The person who made the statement about using "I" words was referring to his own experience in therapy, in fact, and said the cultural environment had impacts on people processing such things and taking on negative emotions about the self.

Personally, I wouldn't have participated on the thread at all... but when this person made the statement - it's not you, but own the emotion, then recognize you can let it go by tracing it to sexism, etc. in society - that person was excoriated for such remarks as somehow attacking those in the thread who had experienced abuse.

Maybe my take on the situation is wrong - I don't really know the person who made the remarks - but the situation, again, reinforced my thought that personal abuse is best dealt with in safe environments - not public ones. But because the person said this to people in the thread - he's a hater.

These situations are complex - and that's why asking for clarification, rather than immediately attacking someone for what he or she says goes a long way toward making this board a better place for Democrats and liberals and lefties, etc. to find common cause.