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cyberswede

(26,117 posts)

115. I didn't say it bothered the men...

Fri Apr 11, 2014, 03:56 PM

Apr 2014

I said they were surprised.

I don't think the point was to offend the men, which may be why the author doesn't address that issue. I think the point was to contrast the rarity of men receiving this treatment with the frequency of women receiving it.

Women have to deal with crap like that all the time. Some women are offended, some are afraid, and I'm sure some are even bemused - but they're probably not confused, unfortunately.

I think *that's* the point - it's so common for women, that they know exactly what's happening, and it's so rare for men, that they're confused by it.

The "turning the tables" was merely the reversal of the giver & receiver of the comments, not that their reactions or feelings about it should be equivalent.

...and I'm pretty sure the person in the video is a woman, not a girl.

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'Get your arse out, mate': we turn the tables on everyday sexism [View all] boston bean Apr 2014 OP

You know what was interesting treestar Apr 2014 #1

People are individuals IronLionZion Apr 2014 #2

It's no less suspect when it is frequent. Hope you're not arguing bettyellen Apr 2014 #3

Of course not! nt IronLionZion Apr 2014 #4

A few people here have said that- and also that the women complaining bettyellen Apr 2014 #6

thank you for expressing the issue, .... seabeyond Apr 2014 #10

I think when we are discussing societal issues, the "people are individuals" thing is a derail...... bettyellen Apr 2014 #14

i agree. when i am in a mood, and totally sick and tired of it, i will do it back. seabeyond Apr 2014 #16

I get pissed off at how restricted I felt sometimes- don't eat an ice cream cone in midtown, don't bettyellen Apr 2014 #21

fuck. do not even say out loud you are having a cone. you can say, ... you really really want one seabeyond Apr 2014 #23

I am not those people IronLionZion Apr 2014 #85

I appreciate your clarifications, ILZ! bettyellen Apr 2014 #95

When it's frequent gollygee Apr 2014 #5

not to mention so fuggin old. so so so so so fuggin old. after deaces. what? 3? as early as it seabeyond Apr 2014 #11

I realized at one point it was more frequent when I was feeling weak or down and not actually as bettyellen Apr 2014 #13

interesting. you made me think. my question would be. could it have been seabeyond Apr 2014 #17

No, the frequency almost doubled. It struck me hard one day how weak and shitty I looked and that bettyellen Apr 2014 #19

i have felt that.... "made NO sense that I would arouse that much extra attention." seabeyond Apr 2014 #25

well, I obviously was not practicing the best self care. I was raggedy. And that can be a visual bettyellen Apr 2014 #28

I strongly agree, "it was more like trying to cull the weak from the herd." nt raccoon Apr 2014 #70

well, prior to that I believed it had a strong connection to looking "good" in a conventional way. bettyellen Apr 2014 #88

Make my day? Bernardo de La Paz Apr 2014 #7

+10000 sinkingfeeling Apr 2014 #8

this is a favorite. a total favorite. conclusion. how totally exhausting it is. nt seabeyond Apr 2014 #12

This has been done before, everybody reacts how they react snooper2 Apr 2014 #78

that was great NJCher Apr 2014 #9

Cher! I went to Ploch's for pansies! LOL. Hope you are well! bettyellen Apr 2014 #15

I like how most of the guys didn't care or just laughed LittleBlue Apr 2014 #18

so you think harassing women is amusing- good to know. Thanks for showing us your cards. bettyellen Apr 2014 #20

That video is of a woman propositioning men LittleBlue Apr 2014 #22

Oh bullshit, you made it very clear you think the issue is all a big joke. No walking back now. bettyellen Apr 2014 #24

The issue of harassing men in the street? LittleBlue Apr 2014 #26

Just more proof CFLDem Apr 2014 #33

BUT...if it happened all day every day Tsiyu Apr 2014 #48

I actually don't think the problem is that bad CFLDem Apr 2014 #50

We're telling you- not asking you- that it is a problem. Your validation means zip, nada, zilch.... bettyellen Apr 2014 #66

What specifically leads you to believe it's not a consistent problem in the US? LanternWaste Apr 2014 #90

I actually don't think you are a woman Tsiyu Apr 2014 #129

Mrs CFLDem is a woman CFLDem Apr 2014 #130

"It isn't that bad" implies Tsiyu Apr 2014 #132

If your wife avoided sexist comments or harassment, I'm glad for her. cyberswede Apr 2014 #134

It's clear you didn't read that poster's post. Vashta Nerada Apr 2014 #112

it's completely clear he thinks it's all a big laugh. but too much of a chicken to say so directly bettyellen Apr 2014 #120

It was illuminating in exactly the way she intended. cyberswede Apr 2014 #61

If she intended to show that these men weren't offended LittleBlue Apr 2014 #72

The men were taken aback and surprised. cyberswede Apr 2014 #76

Everyone knows how odd it is for men LittleBlue Apr 2014 #93

"It's only stunning because it never happens..." cyberswede Apr 2014 #100

Many males would enjoy that if it were genuine LittleBlue Apr 2014 #108

You keep telling yourself that. cyberswede Apr 2014 #110

I was wondering that about you LittleBlue Apr 2014 #111

I saw men being taken aback by what the woman said to them. cyberswede Apr 2014 #113

I saw men confused and bemused LittleBlue Apr 2014 #114

I didn't say it bothered the men... cyberswede Apr 2014 #115

I do believe he clearly thinks this behavior is okay. And for him it is, since it never happens. bettyellen Apr 2014 #128

They were shocked. Fawke Em Apr 2014 #80

So some guys are jerks CFLDem Apr 2014 #27

too many guys, and we're working on fixing that. thanks for your support! bettyellen Apr 2014 #29

Too many? CFLDem Apr 2014 #30

women talking about experience from 12'ish to well into the 40's and beyond? could THAT be TOO many? seabeyond Apr 2014 #31

Uh huh CFLDem Apr 2014 #32

ha. ? with uh hu. plan to solve. look up derailing 101. off to play dude. seabeyond Apr 2014 #34

So i take it there is no plan? CFLDem Apr 2014 #36

no. do not take it there is no plan. seabeyond Apr 2014 #38

Ok then why all the secrecy and diversions? CFLDem Apr 2014 #39

there is no secrecy. and you are the only one diverting. we women and some men seabeyond Apr 2014 #40

So what is my position? CFLDem Apr 2014 #47

This message was self-deleted by its author Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #59

amount of people who should harass me while out in the streets? ZERO. you have a problem with that? bettyellen Apr 2014 #44

Actually no one should be harassed at anytime. CFLDem Apr 2014 #49

It has been changing, slowly, for the better. Did you not realize this crap was common and accepted bettyellen Apr 2014 #56

Thanks CFLDem Apr 2014 #62

So, I should be harassed and be silent about it to make you happy, LOL? Are you fucking joking? bettyellen Apr 2014 #68

I don't know why this discussion attracts me. CFLDem Apr 2014 #74

LOL, your best comment today. Thanks for the laugh. bettyellen Apr 2014 #81

heh. yeah, I was thinking the same thing bettyellen - Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #92

Well, the more of us who raise our boys NOT to act that way, that will help. cyberswede Apr 2014 #65

^^^ THIS ^^^THANK YOU ^^^ Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #102

It blows my mind that his does not occur to more men. you all can help shut this down too. bettyellen Apr 2014 #109

it's not their call anymore what is important,those fellas have got to get over that notion. seabeyond Apr 2014 #117

and to realize that we never asked for their approval of this discussion- yet they persist in bettyellen Apr 2014 #119

once they actually realize what you are saying, they will actually stumble over the concept seabeyond Apr 2014 #121

well, it does tend to shut them up. because admitting they actually aren't any authority here is bettyellen Apr 2014 #122

point... nt seabeyond Apr 2014 #124

from the mercuryblues Apr 2014 #35

you said it so well. i was gonna highlight the first apragraph. but... you did not seabeyond Apr 2014 #37

yes. yes. yes. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #60

I miss women complimenting my ass FrodosPet Apr 2014 #41

perhaps it's your dismissive attitude about sexism they find a turn off? bettyellen Apr 2014 #46

How would they know that just by looking at him? CFLDem Apr 2014 #52

....if he is looking at them a certain way, or god forbid opens his mouth, LOL. bettyellen Apr 2014 #57

Thank goodness I have my sense of humor! FrodosPet Apr 2014 #131

"sexually interested women" seabeyond Apr 2014 #133

Nice leap there! FrodosPet Apr 2014 #135

no anger, no leap. no clarifying and correcting on your part. how about this, my friend. seabeyond Apr 2014 #136

I mean that some women like sex, like talking about it, joking about it FrodosPet Apr 2014 #137

yes, lots of women like sex and they like talking dirty with men they CHOOSE to talk dirty with. seabeyond Apr 2014 #139

poor baby. perhaps you would prefer the alternative to growing old ... Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #63

Ahh brimming with compassion today, I see. CFLDem Apr 2014 #64

I see you are still incapable of following simple instruction. Not surprised. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #69

Would you prefer it for me? FrodosPet Apr 2014 #138

I prefer that you live long enough to grow into a man that I would be proud to know Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #140

The signboard at the pub really underscored the point suffragette Apr 2014 #42

So, you turn the tables on sexism MO_Moderate Apr 2014 #43

Ugh... No. Just no. chrisa Apr 2014 #45

Hallelujah! CFLDem Apr 2014 #55

We have silently ignored this type of man for years. What do you suggest we do about men like this? Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #71

Firmly tell them to cut it out CFLDem Apr 2014 #73

Thanks for posting your picture. and, Thanks for showing how presumptive you are. I am sure Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #75

I'm male. It's hard to tell on the Internet sometimes. chrisa Apr 2014 #83

exactly but, thanks for sharing and Yes, I wrongly assumed you were Female due to the Username. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #87

Np :P chrisa Apr 2014 #96

My only regret CFLDem Apr 2014 #94

and even that is debatable ... Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #103

Thanks Tuesday CFLDem Apr 2014 #105

Bring him into the light and embarrass him chrisa Apr 2014 #77

I don't know, those men looked pretty embarrassed to me. Seems some light was shed on the issue - Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #84

There has to be a better way w/o hurting innocent people, imo. chrisa Apr 2014 #86

are you honestly thinking these men were hurt in some way? Do you not think that afterwards all was Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #89

I don't think they were hurt afterwards, but the behavior itself is bad, even if to make a point. chrisa Apr 2014 #98

In order to eradicate a behavior it must first be exposed for the negative behavior it is. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #99

What to do like men about that? Hop on DU and tell men not doing it they are sexist The Straight Story Apr 2014 #101

Why don't you heed your own advice? Else wise your post no sense. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #123

but... da doors. seabeyond Apr 2014 #125

Lol Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #126

translation- it's not about me, smoking in bars or gun rights so I don't give a shit, LOL. bettyellen Apr 2014 #127

The problem with a lot of these "turn the tables" videos... davidn3600 Apr 2014 #51

and SOME men actually think. that makes it worth it to me seabeyond Apr 2014 #53

Thank you lord CFLDem Apr 2014 #54

Agree partially. And spooky3 Apr 2014 #58

*** " ... instead, they are wondering if this woman is crazy." *** Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #67

I think the dudes that do it are crazy- delusional, creepy assholes. Unfortunately that can be a bettyellen Apr 2014 #79

wow. Sorry that happened to you, bettyellen and it only serves to reinforce the thinking ... Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #91

thanks, TA. I am a pretty hard case, but graphic rape and death threats are tough for anyone to hear bettyellen Apr 2014 #97

Verbal Aggression is nasty. I am honestly surprised that it doesn't lead to retaliation any more Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #104

I am not one to strike anyone, I'd have to be defending someone or myself. bettyellen Apr 2014 #107

I understand. Subconsciously the bullies know this, too. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #118

Maybe because they might hit back? And generally a slap from a man is more physically raccoon Apr 2014 #141

I honestly don't know what the reaction would be. A lot of men in the movies get a drink Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #142

mine was about 11, in line, hand seabeyond Apr 2014 #143

I was embarrassed, too. Of course, he was too because the whole lunch line laughed. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #144

so. what the men can note. young girls. minding their own business. their physical integrity seabeyond Apr 2014 #145

yes ... Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #146

the boy child was naturally (as in nature) curious seabeyond Apr 2014 #147

Not all parents teach their children appropriate manners and behavior, seabeyond. Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #148

Absolutely, two different situations. And mine was middle school so I might have been 12 and seabeyond Apr 2014 #149

Wouldn't it be interesting if we could speak to thse two males and, ask about their memory of the Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2014 #150

i've done something as simple as calling a woman a dick, and the look on guys' faces is indeed TheFrenchRazor Apr 2014 #116

I have a heck of a time understanding them. CC didn't help. nt raccoon Apr 2014 #82

More or less a "Brown Eyes/Blue Eyes" program. Behind the Aegis Apr 2014 #106

I'm not certain what many people were seeing... Shandris Apr 2014 #151