Conflating rape with "psychological strategies" is what minimizes it.

If merely pushy behavior were defined as rape, then some things labeled "rape" would strike many people as being not all that bad. I think the solution is to make clear that those things are not rape.

With regard to your statement that "the aggressor generally knows what he's doing," my impression (admittedly based on very little knowledge) is to the contrary. An important reason to have rape education (for example, on college campuses) is that a significant number of people, mostly men, sincerely believe that it can't be rape as long as he didn't hold a knife to her throat or the like. I took that to be the point of MineralMan's OP. Some scenarios that don't involve force may nevertheless constitute rape, and MineralMan set forth some specific examples. I agree with the general proposition. I thought MineralMan's specific examples were worth discussing.