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In reply to the discussion: Rape Culture: One way to say yes, many ways to say no. [View all]msanthrope
(37,549 posts)77. But asking why someone is uncomfortable isn't necessarily enabling rape culture.
And I think that MM made the point that simple inquiry isn't coercive. He's correct.
Heck...I'd want to know why someone is feeling uncomfortable...maybe it's resolveable. Maybe it's not.
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I know that rape and sexual assault are about power, but it also happens because
LuvNewcastle
Apr 2014
#4
Examples 1 & 3 certainly don't sound like rape scenarios. But if the guy's pushy all the time then
nomorenomore08
Apr 2014
#22
I disagree. She said no and instead of respecting that he pressed her on it. If she says no IT'S NO.
redqueen
Apr 2014
#32
"Treat anyone's no as negotiable, and you are enabling rape culture, pure and simple." <- BOOM
redqueen
Apr 2014
#43
But asking why someone is uncomfortable isn't necessarily enabling rape culture.
msanthrope
Apr 2014
#77
It's not necessarily a crime, or provable as one at least, but that doesn't make it okay to keep
nomorenomore08
Apr 2014
#65
So how does one tactfully say they don't want to be in a relationship with no sex?
Hippo_Tron
Apr 2014
#38
Why are you spending so much energy debating where the "line" is anyway?
nomorenomore08
Apr 2014
#66
I think "I do not want to date you" is a shitty way to break up with someone
Hippo_Tron
Apr 2014
#46
So if it's technically not rape by a strict legal definition, then it's a-okay?
nomorenomore08
Apr 2014
#70
And if in doubt, you can always ask. Merely saying "Is this okay?" shouldn't ruin the moment.
nomorenomore08
Apr 2014
#68