If It’s OK For Women To Propose, Why Don’t They?

[JVS]

8. This thread would need a lot of popcorn if people felt comfortable speaking openly on the topic.

But I doubt it will come to that.

I'm just going to say a few things.

1. Breaking this convention is like carpooling. It's the kind of thing that people say is a good idea, but really mean that it's a good idea for someone else to do it. Kind of a "It's fine to propose to a man, but if my boyfriend doesn't propose to me that means that he's too chickenshit/ clueless/ not in touch with our relationship/ stringing me along/ not interested (circle whichever conditions apply) and it's not meant to be" line of reasoning.

2. I've seen a few instances (especially around the Nov-Dec holiday season) where women and their families start expecting a proposal and the relationship ends shortly after new years when the proposal has not been made.

3. Weddings are often ostentatious displays that are used to create a narrative and the start of a good wedding is a good (or at least inoffensive) back story. As someone who has sat at the table chatting with the elderly distant relatives of friends and been asked about remembering the beginning of the couple being together there are a lot of times where a polite fiction is far better received than telling them about how their great grand niece practically lived in your dorm the month after she met the groom.