General Discussion

Algernon Moncrieff

(5,961 posts)

57. A comment from a guy (and, hence, not a poll participant)

Sun May 4, 2014, 10:58 AM

May 2014

Do (present tense) many women do this? No. That answer should be self evident to anyone, as there is not nearly the stigma attached to unwed parenthood that there was 40+ years ago. Pregnancy is no longer an effective lever to get anyone to the altar. If a couple were otherwise committed, and a pregnancy occurred, it might encourage them to marry, but it's simply not an effective entrapment device in 2014.

Did this practice exist at one time? Yes, and I'm aware of at least one occurrence of this in friends of the family. I've also heard older women in the family discuss the practice anecdotally. Was it common? Marriage due to unplanned pregnancy was, of course, common prior to -- let's say 1985 (arbitrary pick on my part). Was entrapment common? My guess is that it took place, but was not an everyday happening.

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Women [View all] boston bean May 2014 OP

I was tempted to hit 'yes' just for giggles... Shandris May 2014 #1

Never mind the fact that men have a responsibility in this as well. boston bean May 2014 #2

Oh, I can see how they'd consider themselves trapped. Shandris May 2014 #5

seems like mercuryblues May 2014 #53

i could have answered "yes". i was DesertFlower May 2014 #3

Right. You didn't trap him. boston bean May 2014 #6

it was 1960 and coming from a catholic DesertFlower May 2014 #8

yep. I completely understand. boston bean May 2014 #10

Well, I guess I can no longer speak for young women anymore. Ha! GOPee May 2014 #244

yes, of course i do, and by that i mean i am sure some raging misogynist thinks so. nt La Lioness Priyanka May 2014 #4

Report Details Sabotage of Birth Control seabeyond May 2014 #7

Thanks for sharing this here. Funny how no one has anything to say about it. redqueen May 2014 #69

a good indication of the misogyny, willfully, when it is an equal gender opportunity, but the finger seabeyond May 2014 #71

I vote yes Go Vols May 2014 #9

Another misogynistic wave on DU question everything May 2014 #11

I was five months pregnant when my ex and I got married, Blue_In_AK May 2014 #12

right. boston bean May 2014 #13

CFLDem ... haha. funny. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #14

Totally unsurprising - a definite pattern. n/t seaglass May 2014 #78

uh hu. lol. nt seabeyond May 2014 #81

No Call Outs. Nothing to see here. Move along, Folks. Keep it moving. n/t Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #82

yup. lol. nt seabeyond May 2014 #85

Why is this an issue? A majority of women don't use pregnancy to trap someone, but SOME women do. sabrina 1 May 2014 #15

my girlfriends Niceguy1 May 2014 #36

my brother did when he knew his wife was gonna walk. seabeyond May 2014 #64

Yup kcr May 2014 #63

How exactly was that trapping him? Gormy Cuss May 2014 #76

+1! -nt CrispyQ May 2014 #97

NO one is "TRAPPED" Demeter May 2014 #103

... Major Nikon May 2014 #162

If anyone is doing the :trapping: there -- Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #177

just another ugly caricature of women, that grown men like to giggle over. seabeyond May 2014 #240

well, honestly - nobody in that picture is what I woud call good-looking ... Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #241

So are you saying that this entire poll is bullshit? 11 Bravo May 2014 #238

Why, now that you mention it, I guess I am Demeter May 2014 #256

Fuck no ismnotwasm May 2014 #16

sheeeit. for years, i wanted the baby, not the husband. nt seabeyond May 2014 #17

I wouldn't say many but some do oneofthe99 May 2014 #18

and some men poke holes in their condoms. flush pills down the toilet or hide them. seabeyond May 2014 #20

It can happen both ways oneofthe99 May 2014 #33

It was stupid ass sexist garbage putting that in the other thread with the mere purpose seabeyond May 2014 #34

What value constitutes "some" to you? Gravitycollapse May 2014 #21

Google it , 1000's of articles written about it in magazines ,books oneofthe99 May 2014 #23

You didn't answer my question. What value constitutes "some" to you? Gravitycollapse May 2014 #26

Look up the definition of some oneofthe99 May 2014 #28

Would you say some is more than one? Gravitycollapse May 2014 #29

word games oneofthe99 May 2014 #32

I'm just wondering what constitutes some in your eyes. One or two? a few dozen? Gravitycollapse May 2014 #35

Seems more like evasion on your part LanternWaste May 2014 #189

Remember, Eve ruined it for everyone. Women are good for nothing tricksters that cannot be trusted. Gravitycollapse May 2014 #19

yup... personally, i put the blame on weak willed adam who shifts the blame and cannot own seabeyond May 2014 #22

Eating fruit from the tree of knowledge was the right thing to do. Gravitycollapse May 2014 #24

ha ha. i have never heard it argued that way. i love it. thanks. nt seabeyond May 2014 #25

Don't thank me. Thank Eve. She's the Rebel Girl of the Old Testament. Gravitycollapse May 2014 #27

ya. i kinda like the story of lilith. seabeyond May 2014 #30

Post removed Post removed May 2014 #38

No, that is not what is said. boston bean May 2014 #41

Are you trying say something? Because this was never said by anyone here. Squinch May 2014 #51

Why would you ask me such a stupid question? Gravitycollapse May 2014 #84

yes. i would like to know also. i have asked a handful of poster, that say... all men are rapists seabeyond May 2014 #87

Whatever the intention, the post is now hidden. Gravitycollapse May 2014 #136

What's it to you? babylonsister May 2014 #31

I read right here on DU that basically: The Straight Story May 2014 #37

Thanks for defying the groupthink around here. murielm99 May 2014 #39

It stereotypical sexist bullshit that I am calling out. boston bean May 2014 #40

DOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRSSSSS!!!!! Squinch May 2014 #102

Men, gun lovers, and christians don't get posts hoping for death-by-rape directed at them Scootaloo May 2014 #130

I am guessing that person was trolling and not a regular DU member The Straight Story May 2014 #134

Correct on the second, "depends" on the prior Scootaloo May 2014 #143

poster "finally" banned. Fixed for relevant accuracy. LanternWaste May 2014 #215

I voted NO for my wife. B Calm May 2014 #42

Is it okay just to say yuiyoshida May 2014 #43

Of course. boston bean May 2014 #45

That, my dear would be impossible seeing as yuiyoshida May 2014 #46

oh, sorry... boston bean May 2014 #47

Here..I hope people can see me more clearly now... yuiyoshida May 2014 #48

I didn't know that was you. boston bean May 2014 #49

Yup.. yuiyoshida May 2014 #50

I heard there was a DU rule hfojvt May 2014 #107

Hey, you know with the wonders of modern medicine... n/t Scootaloo May 2014 #131

You mean like a portable unit yuiyoshida May 2014 #142

Well, I'm not married; but I don't know anyone who HAS done that LeftishBrit May 2014 #44

Same here... Violet_Crumble May 2014 #52

In all my years of life, I've never known anyone to do this. But consider this: Squinch May 2014 #54

Does a woman not have any responsibility for sexual activity? davidn3600 May 2014 #59

Again, the choice for men who do not want to have babies boston bean May 2014 #60

But the same thing could be said for a woman... davidn3600 May 2014 #61

when he starts carrying a baby. why you leave out the obvious for your argument is telling. seabeyond May 2014 #65

I quote Monty Python: Nevernose May 2014 #216

I don't see pipi_k May 2014 #70

NO, that is not what I am saying. boston bean May 2014 #72

You are now claiming that what I specifically argued against was "exactly what I was saying." Squinch May 2014 #90

Nope, we guys have no recourse if our partner decides to keep a surprise pregnancy. Scootaloo May 2014 #132

This message was self-deleted by its author LanternWaste May 2014 #198

You have the same rights to an abortion that a woman does Nevernose May 2014 #217

David, re-read my post. You seem to have missed most of what I said. Squinch May 2014 #88

You think a woman doesn't pay.............. Amaril May 2014 #188

Thank you. I can't believe I'm reading this bullshit here. redqueen May 2014 #62

and then the argument is the same for both. one has to totally leave out the fact a woman has the seabeyond May 2014 #66

I know. When we start a conversation here, we should just make a list up front of which Squinch May 2014 #92

YES. YES. YES. Same ones doing the same thing, over and over again. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #227

Next time one of these threads come up, we really should to that. Part of the Bingo series! Squinch May 2014 #246

BINGO! Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #253

THANK YOU, SQUINCH. WISH YOUR POST WAS AN OP. I WOULD K&R IT. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #226

Best explanation of real life, right there. n/t freshwest May 2014 #255

I guess "stereotypical/sexist bullshit" etherealtruth May 2014 #55

That becomes clearer every day. Squinch May 2014 #91

Three marriages... pipi_k May 2014 #56

A comment from a guy (and, hence, not a poll participant) Algernon Moncrieff May 2014 #57

and men equally used pregnancy as a means to get married too. that is the problem seabeyond May 2014 #67

clarification ... pretty sure some men have paticipated in this poll. Pretty sure CFLDem is a man. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #68

it appears four MEN used deceit getting woman preg to force her into marriage, or not leaving them. seabeyond May 2014 #74

that is my take on this situation. Laughably insulting to all involved. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #75

It appears you are correct. How pitiful of them. Squinch May 2014 #93

well. kinda wrong too. lol. off to spend time with teenage son. we just seabeyond May 2014 #94

Lol! Sounds like they have some great lives ahead of them. Enjoy the day! Squinch May 2014 #95

excellent stuff. i am skipping gardening this year and miss it. nt seabeyond May 2014 #96

I've been married more than once, Z_I_Peevey May 2014 #58

This whole premise of "trapping" is offensive to men and women. It absolves men from Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #73

Women: I'm for them. Iggo May 2014 #77

I don't think that men are such a prize that I would burden myself with a kid just to "trap" one. Beacool May 2014 #79

hahahaa...no doubt pipi_k May 2014 #80

I was always the same way. Beacool May 2014 #89

My husband-to-be already had a son from a previous relationship. Starry Messenger May 2014 #83

ya. nt seabeyond May 2014 #86

I suspect my ex's ex-wife deliberately got pregnant and hid the pregnancy until it was too late. moriah May 2014 #98

That someone made that comment BainsBane May 2014 #99

The comment was alerted on and allowed to stand etherealtruth May 2014 #100

Because women magically get pregnant on their own, right? SheilaT May 2014 #101

Alternate poll premise... rrneck May 2014 #104

Your post implies you believe this to be a wide spread problem....? etherealtruth May 2014 #105

There is no such implication. rrneck May 2014 #106

The real question BainsBane May 2014 #108

Don't say that. rrneck May 2014 #111

Actually five people admitted to using pregnancy coercion etherealtruth May 2014 #110

Your post is much more helpful and imformative than the OP. nt rrneck May 2014 #112

at least two of the respondants to yes BainsBane May 2014 #113

I just assumed the posters identifying themselves as men were admitting to etherealtruth May 2014 #115

Read the thread - Ms. Toad May 2014 #122

Doesn't say much for him, I would think etherealtruth May 2014 #124

4 out of 5 are men that I know. I too assume they manipulated a preg on gf/wife seabeyond May 2014 #127

It was my first thought etherealtruth May 2014 #128

I can't fathom that. Scootaloo May 2014 #133

Of course it is etherealtruth May 2014 #137

I wouldn't assume that at all BainsBane May 2014 #140

If by messing around, you mean pulling a prank on the polling numbers then I agree with you. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #166

^^^THIS^^^ TorchTheWitch May 2014 #242

I see I'm late to the game - Ms. Toad May 2014 #121

Just so you know - Ms. Toad May 2014 #120

... by the way etherealtruth May 2014 #126

As does the fact some who claim to be feminist BainsBane May 2014 #141

Wait ... what ....? etherealtruth May 2014 #156

No, no. I don't BainsBane May 2014 #157

Whew .... good etherealtruth May 2014 #159

+1000! polly7 May 2014 #116

It's always fun to watch and see who sits in the eye of the hurricane. nt rrneck May 2014 #117

Bingo! n/t LadyHawkAZ May 2014 #118

Well, it it happened to one poster/post it is 'many'. Just don't apply that definition The Straight Story May 2014 #135

Nasty nasty seabeyond May 2014 #109

Most push polls are. nt rrneck May 2014 #114

Naturally some see the fact she posted a poll about this BainsBane May 2014 #138

How would anyone know worse from better? rrneck May 2014 #144

"out of context" BainsBane May 2014 #146

Yes, yes, yes. rrneck May 2014 #148

Feel free to provide the link BainsBane May 2014 #149

What makes you think I have a link? rrneck May 2014 #151

The way you were going on about context BainsBane May 2014 #153

No. I'm afraid not. rrneck May 2014 #154

Back to my original point BainsBane May 2014 #155

How are we to tell without a link to the quote to evaluate it? rrneck May 2014 #158

My comparison is a very real one BainsBane May 2014 #160

Um, rrneck May 2014 #161

As I said BainsBane May 2014 #167

It's still a false equivalency. rrneck May 2014 #182

That implication is inherent in this poll already. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #145

It's just another push poll. rrneck May 2014 #147

Derp. Please refr to post #152 in this thread. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #163

Not too sure what to make of that. rrneck May 2014 #164

good lord, rrneck. I feel sorry for you. I really do. I never realized how truly pitiful you are. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #165

I'm just following the reasoning presented to me. rrneck May 2014 #168

Sorry, not going to dehumanize woman in favor boston bean May 2014 #169

Of course I have a better way. rrneck May 2014 #179

No, men have no say over whether a woman has an abortion or not. boston bean May 2014 #192

That is THE WHOLE POINT. You are arguing FOR the purpose of THIS thread. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #171

Are women perfect? nt rrneck May 2014 #174

rrneck, after reading what all you have to say in this thread and the priorities you choose to rally Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #175

It's a fairly simple question. rrneck May 2014 #180

dude, you have lost it. I really hope this is your online persona you are trying to save face with Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #181

Can't do it. Okay. nt rrneck May 2014 #183

You are right. I can't do it. I can not sink that low. Leaving you twisting in the wind. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #186

I'll answer for you. rrneck May 2014 #191

This thread was started to discuss the sexist tropes boston bean May 2014 #193

Ah. So we'rediscussing sexist tropes. rrneck May 2014 #197

I really don't think you have done what You think have done here. Good bye, rrneck. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #194

Prove it. ntt rrneck May 2014 #196

oh dear. you did that yourself. I have never seen a circle more completely drawn than what you Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #200

Okay. rrneck May 2014 #201

actually, this conversation meant a lot to me. it is the one where I say good bye to someone whom Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #203

ridiculous BainsBane May 2014 #172

He has twisted his morals into some of the most curled pretzel logic I have ever witnessed. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #176

Leapng leaping... rrneck May 2014 #184

Human Beings as a group have a remarkable capacity to engage in deceit of all kinds tkmorris May 2014 #211

if you think this to be true: Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #212

This was not a reference to the fact that some women BainsBane May 2014 #213

Depends on the population of males you talk to AngryAmish May 2014 #225

Yes, well I was referring to people in this century BainsBane May 2014 #232

It's not a matter of belief. lumberjack_jeff May 2014 #222

Then there is this BainsBane May 2014 #249

Hey I didn't know you could vote in a poll when you're on review? ismnotwasm May 2014 #119

One is actually suspended from posting. Ms. Toad May 2014 #123

5 hides out a poster can PM, recommend. Two or more hides in 24 hours seabeyond May 2014 #125

The one I'm talking about has 5 hides Ms. Toad May 2014 #129

Therefore, he can vote in polls and send PMs. Only when One is Flagged For Review is when Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #178

Just got that clarification via ATA. Ms. Toad May 2014 #190

word. official. yes. thanks for the confirmation. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #195

You can't make a guy get married. You can make him pay child support. McCamy Taylor May 2014 #139

exactly BainsBane May 2014 #150

The whole idea is ludicrous. MadrasT May 2014 #152

Is this poll meant for older women? Capt. Obvious May 2014 #170

I knew she wanted a kitten LOL snooper2 May 2014 #173

I got pregnant MissMillie May 2014 #185

Hell no. It went the other way. I got pregnant and my ex badgered me into getting married uppityperson May 2014 #187

I've known a lot of couples that got married after finding out she was pregnant. Rex May 2014 #199

Uh-0h, Rex pintobean May 2014 #202

Actually, He upheld what the poll is about, whether it was his intention or not, I don't know Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #204

If all things are at least possible, then someone (more than likely) out there did such an act. Rex May 2014 #207

This does happen occasionally. Years ago, a detestable, dishonest woman I know told her boyfriend, Zorra May 2014 #205

When I was seventeen, I was told this by a girlfriend. lumberjack_jeff May 2014 #206

The woman I was referring to reminds me a great deal of George W. Bush. Zorra May 2014 #208

but, Zorra ... can you not see that it is HIS own values that have :trapped: him. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #214

"You can set the noose but, they hang their own self." lumberjack_jeff May 2014 #219

or you can throw them the rope, their choice how to use it and honestly after reading some of the Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #221

I'm not the one defending the actions of Zorra's "awful" acquaintance. lumberjack_jeff May 2014 #228

I defended NOTHING about THAT woman. SAID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT HER AT ALL. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #229

Everyone's world view is valid because it is valid to them. lumberjack_jeff May 2014 #233

why do you care what I think after all those names you just called me? Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #235

I'm always curious about how people acquire the views they hold. lumberjack_jeff May 2014 #236

"You can't trap the willing" Like those who stay in an abusive relationship The Straight Story May 2014 #220

wow. You really did just equate domestic violence and spouse abuse with a man Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #223

No, I simply used the same ideals behind what you said The Straight Story May 2014 #230

I didn't say anything about any of that. what you are doing is trying to put words in my mouth Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #231

The abused spouses are already married treestar May 2014 #239

the man fears for his life, with good reason? can you post a more absurd/insulting analogy? nt seabeyond May 2014 #243

What I was saying: The Straight Story May 2014 #250

it fails. one is worried about being fuckin MURDERED. you get that, right? seabeyond May 2014 #252

You know you are comparing apples to giant squids here, right? There is no relationship between Squinch May 2014 #248

Yes, I get that as well; and people can be manipulated by recognizing and playing Zorra May 2014 #245

yes, I really hope this man can come to grips with all this. He deserves to have a chance at Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #247

Yes. It's uncommon but there are always examples of even the most detestable behaviors. Xithras May 2014 #234

Yep. No gender has exclusive monopoly on scumbags. nt Zorra May 2014 #251

Wait a minute.......I am sensing some benevolent stuff here The Straight Story May 2014 #209

Yes, two parallel assumptions are working here. lumberjack_jeff May 2014 #218

THAT is what YOU get out of this thread? Maybe you need to have your eyesight examined. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #224

Not even possible these days treestar May 2014 #210

If you believe some in this thread BainsBane May 2014 #237

My stepson now feels his girlfriend trapped him when she got pregnant. SummerSnow May 2014 #254