How Patriarchy affects men, a self perpetuating cycle of denial and excuses.

[BainsBane]

40. Your argument once again is that feminism is bad

Surprise, surprise. This OP sails over your head because as usual you can't conceive of a world in which women are not at fault. You do not know a single thing about feminism because your refuse to listen to any of us. Where have you heard anyone argue they want to be just like men? What does that mean anyway? And if they have, why the fuck is that a problem to you? Are they not staying in their place? Competing against you for jobs? Showing themselves better educated and more competent than you? Is that what acting like a man is? Or is the tomboy reference about her appearance, that she doesn't dress as you think she should, or keep her hair long and face sufficiently made up? Are these feminists you so resent as masculine lesbians who have the nerve to form partnerships with other women and not give a shit about the male gaze?

Just an FYI about me: I'm a fairly girly women: wear make up, like nice clothes and jewelry, and curl my long hair. Even without those trappings, no one would mistake me for a man. But I take shit from no one. You might consider me being "like a man" because I speak my mind and don't defer to every idiotic thing that comes out of any random guy's mouth. Too bad. My life is my own, as is that of every other women on the planet. How they dress, comport themselves, and whom they love is precisely none of your business. If they want to dress like the butchest lesbians in creation, that is THEIR business entirely.

You can't even engage at the level of this OP, so you work to bring it down to your level of typical rants about how bad feminists are. It's always one thing after another with you. They don't look after men like they are supposed to. They have the nerve to work for women's rights, when if they cared about "equality" they would understand their role was to fight for the rights of men who should be able to sit back and have everything handed to them. Now they are seeking to act like men. What a steaming load of bullshit.

You:

And that's where feminism loses me. Because I don't really feel like it's attacking what needs to be attacked. That strategy will not crush the patriarchy.

1) Redqueen speaks in this thread precisely about what you claim feminists do not do, working to break down patriarchy. You naturally have not read that because you don't actually care what real feminists think. Instead, you base your ideas entirely on anti-feminist stereotypes.

2) It's not your business to decide how women should do feminism. As much as you think women are responsible for following your command, we are not. We are free people entitled to frame issues as WE want. There are many different kinds of feminists who hold different understandings of what feminism and equality means and carry out different strategies. There is no monolithic feminist movement. None of them are compelled to follow your dictates of what you think feminists should do.

Here's a news flash. While I certainly don't speak for all feminists and only for myself, I've seen enough responses to your posts by feminists on this site to have a pretty strong hunch they would not be even slightly interested in "keeping you." By all means, stay "lost." At this point I would be shocked if you showed any signs of being anywhere else.

Believe me, this feminist can think of nothing I would want less than to be like you, and I would not be surprised if dozens of other women on DU felt the same way. Your precious masculinity is safe. You and the OP represent opposite ends of the spectrum of what it means to be a man and a liberal. He wrote a thoughtful, self-reflective post that didn't demonize half the population; he represents the best of what it means to be a liberal, intelligent, and caring man. I have nothing but admiration for him and wish him a long and happy life with his fiance.