"Lets work together to end racism" is more constructive than "whites need to check their privilege".

[Ms. Toad]

42. If it is something that I am doing without being aware of it -

then yes. I have not had anyone use those specific words in speaking with me - but I have been challenged when I was unconsciously doing thing that came from a place of white or cis privilege - and my little journey into having a fragile body was a very effective teaching tool about how much privilege I was completely unaware came with having an able body. Because I am committed to leveling the playing field, when someone living in a less privileged skin makes me aware that I am getting away with things only because of the skin I live in, I try to listen, learn, and change.

That is actually kind of the point. Gathering around the campfire singing Kumbaya with other people of good will doesn't help those people who really want to end racism understand that they may also need to change their own behavior. "Check your privilege" is a reminder to think about it- typically connected with something where privilege played a role so there is an opportunity for some immediate self-examination.

Am I thrilled when I get called on it - no. But I am nearly always grateful that someone was willing to risk offending me.