As a gay man, I think this privilege debate is kind of ridiculous.

[Damansarajaya]

116. See below--

He argues specifically against the belief that "You don't know what discrimination is like so just shut up".

After you got done saying that he doesn't say this, you then said exactly what he was arguing against: "your opinion . . . does not substitute for the experience of actually being a person of color," i.e., "you don't know what discrimination is, so just shut up."

Why? A sociologist researching quantifiable research, for instance, would have a much better idea of the causes and effects of racism than an individual person of color growing up under any of a thousand variables of a society with lingering racism.

What I hear the OP saying is that the privilege argument ultimately devolves into "I'm more discriminated against than you . . . no, you're not . . . yes, I am."

It's like the blacks who say that Obama is not black because his blackness comes from a free African and not generations of enslavement. WTH?

My own position is that privilege is present in our society on many levels--race, gender, age, socio-economic status. It is a valuable concept to understand inequality. But I think when it is used as a propaganda tool to change minds, it runs into a predictable obstacle that people identified as "privileged" are going to object to that label and push-back against it. It also creates divisions just as the OP pointed out as groups seek to trump others in who is the most victimized.

So, it's not very effective in changing people's thinking.