General Discussion

chervilant

(8,267 posts)

79. I will share a personal anecdote with you:

Sun May 11, 2014, 08:56 AM

May 2014

My boss self-identifies as a racist and a homophobe. The first time I heard something racist come out of his mouth was after I observed that I do not understand why people default to hate and bigotry when stressed or angry. I have made my position clear insofar as I can without losing my job.

While he hasn't stopped spouting his bigotry, he now has a defensive edge to his utterances. I suspect my opposition has -- at the very least -- caused him some discomfort.

In my old age (58), I've learned that many of my generation hold racist and/or homophobic opinions. On occasion, I find myself being anti-racist with a friend whose racism was not apparent before. In short, I am anti-racist and anti-homophobic on a daily basis -- which is about how often I encounter bigotry and hate in this rural enclave.

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Highlight:

Are you an enabler of hate? [View all] William769 May 2014 OP

How I would handle it, I am not sure. sheshe2 May 2014 #1

When I was younger, I was more meek for some reason, After I hit 40, I don't catbyte May 2014 #2

I always speak up. JaneyVee May 2014 #3

Enabler? Or knowing which fights to pick? Demeter May 2014 #4

see reply 5 nt alp227 May 2014 #69

Keeping quiet implies agreement and emboldens the idiots etherealtruth May 2014 #5

+1 Supersedeas May 2014 #80

You know what's funny? I never hear that shit from people I know... MrScorpio May 2014 #6

confronting strangers is sometimes a obligation Supersedeas May 2014 #81

... Scuba May 2014 #7

... William769 May 2014 #12

Speaking up against something pipi_k May 2014 #8

I just spent a week and a half in the hospital for standing up to hate. William769 May 2014 #11

Oh no! I did not know that. So sorry, William. Luminous Animal May 2014 #25

Thanks. William769 May 2014 #29

You know where you stand... pipi_k May 2014 #26

Wow theHandpuppet May 2014 #27

The speaking out and against is obviously much much worse boston bean May 2014 #45

Yeah, I tear pipi_k May 2014 #56

Wow! sheshe2 May 2014 #65

Could it be that a person is "holier than thou" because they're RIGHT? alp227 May 2014 #70

If you intend to lead by example... theHandpuppet May 2014 #77

I honestly think that's being a little too harsh on him. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #88

no surprise there. William769 May 2014 #28

Yeah, I didn't expect pipi_k May 2014 #57

Pristine banalty. Eleanors38 May 2014 #67

Oh, William.. Cha May 2014 #63

It depends on the situation and the person speaking el_bryanto May 2014 #9

That my friend is being part of the problem. William769 May 2014 #10

What is the goal of the conversation with a person who says something offensive? el_bryanto May 2014 #14

What would be your goal? William769 May 2014 #15

May I ask why you pause ? el_bryanto May 2014 #20

Thank you! FrodosPet May 2014 #33

Response is required in community Fairgo May 2014 #35

I have a friend who used to send me crap anti-immigrant "joke" emails. greatauntoftriplets May 2014 #13

Good on you. William769 May 2014 #16

I don't know that she's changed her views... greatauntoftriplets May 2014 #17

Oh bullshit pipi_k May 2014 #30

You just don't get it, do you? Whisp May 2014 #37

With that persons thinking, they might have been against fighting the civil war. boston bean May 2014 #46

You just made my point pipi_k May 2014 #53

Certainly seemed like William suffered. boston bean May 2014 #59

No...you don't get it pipi_k May 2014 #51

That is not true! Whisp May 2014 #58

So you're saying telling others they're wrong is...ineffective? alp227 May 2014 #72

Thank you, Whisp~ Cha May 2014 #64

wow, you really seem quite invested in not speaking out against bigotry. boston bean May 2014 #48

And you seem pipi_k May 2014 #50

Believe me, no need to explain any further. boston bean May 2014 #60

What? Your yelling at people here hasn't changed their minds? theHandpuppet May 2014 #78

Forward them to this blog alp227 May 2014 #71

I'll keep in mind. greatauntoftriplets May 2014 #82

How about not getting your ass kicked? Throd May 2014 #18

Sometimes you have to break some eggs to make a cake. William769 May 2014 #19

Getting your ass kicked by a bigot doesn't help anything. Throd May 2014 #21

Shame them with humor. It's been working for me for over 50 years. McCamy Taylor May 2014 #23

Context counts. The same joke told by a gay guy may not be homophobic. McCamy Taylor May 2014 #22

The last time I heard a racist joke, everybody ignored it and keep on talking about whatever struggle4progress May 2014 #24

There -is- a middle ground. Shandris May 2014 #31

No I don't. Inkfreak May 2014 #32

no H2O Man May 2014 #34

I speak up, sometimes I see the light bulb go on Whisp May 2014 #36

In the real world I always say I'm offended. herding cats May 2014 #38

People who say if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem... Comrade Grumpy May 2014 #39

Very disturbed about some of the comments in this thread. Texasgal May 2014 #40

You and me both. William769 May 2014 #41

I agree. I will not alert or make a stink Texasgal May 2014 #42

On what grounds would you alert them - assuming you felt there were grounds to alert? nt el_bryanto May 2014 #54

Hi William, nice to see you.. Cha May 2014 #43

I know you would. William769 May 2014 #44

Hey.. Cha May 2014 #49

I would never hear a racist or homophobic joke oneofthe99 May 2014 #47

Oh William... sheshe2 May 2014 #52

Well with friends like you & some others here, How could I not be. William769 May 2014 #55

If you really want to make a difference... pipi_k May 2014 #61

do you not believe in polite society? alp227 May 2014 #73

.. Cha May 2014 #66

.. Cha May 2014 #62

Really? flvegan May 2014 #68

aw believe me, I am not an enabler Skittles May 2014 #74

Sorry you got hurt. You're probably braver than most of us. n/t nomorenomore08 May 2014 #75

Glad you are well William. Squinch May 2014 #76

I will share a personal anecdote with you: chervilant May 2014 #79

It's so easy to walk past MannyGoldstein May 2014 #83

Thinking of Michael Jordan's revelation that there was a time Supersedeas May 2014 #84

I'll pick my own battles... 99Forever May 2014 #85

Not a problem. Some people can't pick their own battles. William769 May 2014 #86

No, William 769... 99Forever May 2014 #89

I empathize with your POV, though I disagree slightly. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #87