General Discussion

betsuni

(28,908 posts)

9. They get so defensive

Mon May 12, 2014, 12:48 AM

May 2014

I wish they'd stop using the word "disagree." Someone posts about privilege, racism, sexism, etc., and the deniers feel attacked and attack back. They don't listen to the many nice posters who take the time to explain. They wonder why it's such a big deal that they disagree. Can't disagree that something exists when it does exist or disagree that someone's life experience is real when it's obvious that many others experience the exact same thing. Use a different word. The deniers can't think of themselves as members of a group, it offends their ego or something. Nope, they're individuals. It's like when that blog Stuff White People Like started and for a long time every new post had hundreds of comments saying: "But I'm white and I don't like that!" I think some people never really got the joke.

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Privilege = shit you don't have to put up with [View all] BainsBane May 2014 OP

It Continues To Amaze Me, Ma'am, That People Have Trouble With This.... The Magistrate May 2014 #1

Post removed Post removed May 2014 #138

It's willful I think MattBaggins May 2014 #240

Defintely BainsBane May 2014 #255

How dare you call me that! Zenlitened May 2014 #2

Actually, that showed up much later. But thanks for being the first... So to speak. ;) freshwest May 2014 #189

You had to know it was coming BainsBane May 2014 #284

! M0rpheus May 2014 #3

Thanks! BainsBane May 2014 #5

You're welcome! M0rpheus May 2014 #139

You are too awesome. bravenak May 2014 #84

Just for that... M0rpheus May 2014 #142

OK that is awesome. nt redqueen May 2014 #146

Wow! Who knew the Cybermen could dance? A vast improvement in the genre, thanks! n/t freshwest May 2014 #190

You should see how the Ood bust a move, then! M0rpheus May 2014 #243

Very, very well put!! alittlelark May 2014 #4

Brava! sheshe2 May 2014 #6

I had a similar experience BainsBane May 2014 #12

I'm still angry betsuni May 2014 #16

kick & recommended. William769 May 2014 #7

I am reminded once again about that Cornel West conversation ... TreasonousBastard May 2014 #8

I expect a lot of times the cops aren't aware they are profiling BainsBane May 2014 #10

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2014 #19

Jesus. BainsBane May 2014 #22

"Black men are by nature criminals." Sadly, I think much of the downplaying of police profiling etc. nomorenomore08 May 2014 #24

This message was self-deleted by its author AverageJoe90 May 2014 #34

I actually didn't read that particular post because it got deleted before I could see it. nomorenomore08 May 2014 #35

Whoops. My mistake. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #37

How do you know what was in that post? BainsBane May 2014 #38

I honestly assumed that NMNM08 had actually taken a quote from the troll. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #41

+1, they're not aware... They are trained to think less of blacks and Hispanics uponit7771 May 2014 #29

They are very much aware aware of what they are doing. giftedgirl77 May 2014 #95

The semi-conscious level is exactly why privilege discussions are spot on. Gormy Cuss May 2014 #126

They get so defensive betsuni May 2014 #9

I really wish you'd find the time to actually learn what's going on around here, TBH. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #36

Whatever, Dad. betsuni May 2014 #69

You are a piece of work BainsBane May 2014 #81

"I've never in my life encountered anyone so unable to see outside of himself." And with that...... AverageJoe90 May 2014 #85

You did it. bravenak May 2014 #90

+10000000000 redqueen May 2014 #147

I could introduce you to someone just as unable to see outside himself if you haven't eaten recently IrishAyes May 2014 #260

Someone is working over-time to silence your voice in this thread. Sissyk May 2014 #186

Some things are more than just "opinion." I absolutely agree. nomorenomore08 May 2014 #40

Yep. wickerwoman May 2014 #11

IMHO, most people don't understand or acknowledge their own privilege... MellowDem May 2014 #13

^^^This^^^ n/t Gormy Cuss May 2014 #127

I think some of the best ways to understand is Whisp May 2014 #217

That's certainly another way... MellowDem May 2014 #227

Sometimes I wonder if the Irish who are historically aware should have an easier time understanding IrishAyes May 2014 #273

I haven't participated in those discussion because it seems obvious. Your excellent post Hoyt May 2014 #14

It's Pretty Simple tea and oranges May 2014 #15

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2014 #17

Who said it was your fault? BainsBane May 2014 #18

You Are A Little More Subtle Than The Recent run, Sir.... The Magistrate May 2014 #20

Yep. Glad to see MIRT zapped him. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #43

I think you may be gone soon. bravenak May 2014 #21

Suicide run BainsBane May 2014 #23

That was a bad one. bravenak May 2014 #25

Not to mention, it is privilege to be able to wade into these discussions, KitSileya May 2014 #26

It gets worse than that BainsBane May 2014 #27

As I said, they should be banned. KitSileya May 2014 #28

Well, for worrying about the website losing posters Damansarajaya May 2014 #136

Quality before quantity, I guess. KitSileya May 2014 #160

Gosh. You sure know a lot for someone who has only been here for a few weeks. Squinch May 2014 #193

I KNEW somebody was gonna think that. Damansarajaya May 2014 #195

Well, color me convinced! Squinch May 2014 #197

The very first day I posted here, Damansarajaya May 2014 #203

Well, it seems like you would know... Squinch May 2014 #208

on ignore . . . Damansarajaya May 2014 #212

Yeah! Squinch May 2014 #213

Why must there be an announcement? bravenak May 2014 #219

I found that one somewhat gratifying. And the feeling of deja vu is always a kick. Squinch May 2014 #221

Ahhhh. bravenak May 2014 #222

... chervilant May 2014 #214

I'm sorry, but do you have any fracking idea how ironic that is? AverageJoe90 May 2014 #31

As you refuse to listen to unprivileged people when they describe their reality, KitSileya May 2014 #49

No, I listen quite well to experiences, actually. I just don't always agree with certain opinions. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #54

This has been explained to you about a hundred times this week alone. bravenak May 2014 #67

Brava! stage left May 2014 #182

Oh wow, suddenly I get what's going on here. Zenlitened May 2014 #223

Exactly. Thank you very very much! bravenak May 2014 #226

Thank YOU. Your comment sparked a real "aha!" moment for me. -n/t Zenlitened May 2014 #229

I was thinking of posting a response along those very lines ... GeorgeGist May 2014 #256

There is no such thing as "personal racism" ... 1StrongBlackMan May 2014 #238

Again, it's a matter of having the attitude that you understand racism better than people of color nomorenomore08 May 2014 #50

And frankly, I have picked up that very same vibe myself from a number of these same few people. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #52

Because you are the one person who always shows up. bravenak May 2014 #68

I see you ignored my advice to stop trolling these threads. Unsurprising, but a shame nonetheless. Number23 May 2014 #75

I'll admit I may be somewhat opinionated.....perhaps to a fault, even. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #82

You are vocal in denying the experiences and history of millions of people. Number23 May 2014 #88

I wouldn't have posted again, but I had to say something. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #96

You haven't corrected anything. You never do. You never will. Number23 May 2014 #98

Quite right madam. bravenak May 2014 #83

No need to pm him/her ... 1StrongBlackMan May 2014 #239

I suppose different individuals may be affected to different degrees. But suggesting that *any* nomorenomore08 May 2014 #283

But he's not assuming ... 1StrongBlackMan May 2014 #288

It rather reminds me of Paul Ryan refusing to have any poor people on his committee to IrishAyes May 2014 #276

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2014 #55

Hear FUCKING Hear Number23 May 2014 #73

Huh, I was sure I was going to get a hide with that one. KitSileya May 2014 #123

Thanks you! JustAnotherGen May 2014 #110

I've been a member of DU since 2002, KitSileya May 2014 #124

Nicely put. Thank you. (nt) Paladin May 2014 #117

And, TBH, it really can be just as easily....and more *plausibly* argued, even..... AverageJoe90 May 2014 #30

No, it creates no such frame BainsBane May 2014 #32

And with all due respect to said poster, I'm afraid they're rather wrong. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #33

I don't believe he mentioned trolls BainsBane May 2014 #39

Yes, I know, but that wasn't quite the point I was making. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #42

Or you could read my edited post BainsBane May 2014 #45

I think I noticed it already......that is, if you're referring to the Biden thing. nt AverageJoe90 May 2014 #77

No BainsBane May 2014 #80

"Don't use the word if you don't like it, but stop telling other people what language they are nomorenomore08 May 2014 #92

I've said it several times BainsBane May 2014 #93

Like everything else. I swear that kind of obliviousness must be *practiced*. n/t nomorenomore08 May 2014 #97

Practiced and calculated. KitSileya May 2014 #100

I'm not so sure BainsBane May 2014 #101

Could be a little of both, really. I just wish certain folks would give it a rest. n/t nomorenomore08 May 2014 #102

Here's something else pipi_k May 2014 #121

One question, what is "controversial" about discussing privilege? boston bean May 2014 #122

You've hit on the crux of the matter. Maedhros May 2014 #141

and "flameabait" BainsBane May 2014 #148

Well, it's a topic that makes some people very uncomfortable Maedhros May 2014 #165

I think that is the heart of the dispute BainsBane May 2014 #169

Unfortunately, you and I do not possess "suburban privilege". As such I have ONLY been affected Dragonfli May 2014 #191

Class privilege is just as significant. I don't like how some people downplay it either. nomorenomore08 May 2014 #235

I don't see it as a contest, what I see and have seen since birth, is that those that are Dragonfli May 2014 #249

I absolutely agree that people need to stop placing others beneath them. Period. nomorenomore08 May 2014 #251

Certainly no intent to "dehumanize." I think we were all just irritated with the guy. nomorenomore08 May 2014 #234

I am betting Squinch May 2014 #199

LOL! The funniest thing I've read all day! Because it is true ... kwassa May 2014 #257

SO MUCH THIS XemaSab Jun 2014 #296

Seems he likes to argue and get in the last word . . . brush May 2014 #116

For the umpteenth time, white privilege is not something one merely "believes" in! nomorenomore08 May 2014 #51

With all due respect, "White privilege" isn't the same thing as starvation in India. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #53

Then why is Trayvon Martin dead BainsBane May 2014 #56

Precisely. Splitting hairs over semantics while people are suffering and dying from the effects of nomorenomore08 May 2014 #58

While saying, "This is how all these people describe their experience, but they are wrong" about an Squinch May 2014 #201

"That is how I interpret your argument." Well, I'm sorry to say that you're wrong. Dead wrong. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #62

Did you see how I defined white privilege? BainsBane May 2014 #66

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2014 #72

Trayvon Martin is dead because he was murdered by a racist KansDem May 2014 #130

You admit that racism is a serious problem - which anyone with any sense can clearly see - nomorenomore08 May 2014 #60

Funny how you always show up on privilege threads to argue against the term. bravenak May 2014 #65

I've made that last point many times BainsBane May 2014 #70

I wonder why. bravenak May 2014 #74

I don't get it either, honestly. But obviously there's something that really irks certain posters nomorenomore08 May 2014 #86

Honestly it has been explained to him by us about a hundred times this week. bravenak May 2014 #89

I tend to assume most people on DU are more or less sincere, but I'm really starting to wonder. nomorenomore08 May 2014 #91

I think you are right and most people are sincerely who they say they are. bravenak May 2014 #94

It might be betsuni May 2014 #280

I have no idea, but I guess it's possible. I'm pretty sure I have a touch of that (or something nomorenomore08 May 2014 #282

This right here JustAnotherGen May 2014 #155

I am done with him. bravenak May 2014 #185

bwahahahahah JustAnotherGen May 2014 #187

I think you are right about this. This is a game, and I am suspictious of the motives. Squinch May 2014 #206

I have been noticing a pattern for about a month. bravenak May 2014 #209

Yep. And always taking the same position, and always sucking all the energy out of the thread. Squinch May 2014 #211

Yes, i agree. bravenak May 2014 #218

Message auto-removed Name removed May 2014 #61

Why do you say class is the one exception? nomorenomore08 May 2014 #47

because it's the only one he thinks matters BainsBane May 2014 #48

"because it's about him." How ironic. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #57

How many posters of color do you think there are on this site? BainsBane May 2014 #59

"You don't pay attention much, do you?" I pay plenty of attention, thanks. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #63

"...making an honest attempt to consider everyone's personal experiences and such." nomorenomore08 May 2014 #64

"but it doesn't translate to the screen," I'll admit I do sometimes fall short in that regard. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #79

Because "white privilege" sadly HAS confused a lot of people. That's the problem. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #103

Why? Please no more. Please just stop. Please stop. bravenak May 2014 #104

So don't use the word. BainsBane May 2014 #105

#1. "White privilege" is admittedly not the most literal use of the word "privilege." But give nomorenomore08 May 2014 #106

Like Cliven Bundy Midnight Writer May 2014 #44

Perfect example. BainsBane May 2014 #46

Or a group of liberals of any color or sex Fumesucker May 2014 #71

Nice cartoon. Thanks for posting. Peace out. =) AverageJoe90 May 2014 #87

Funny how that works BainsBane May 2014 #119

Some truth here, to be honest. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #76

Thats a great example of white privilege. bravenak May 2014 #78

Have you heard of the Black Panthers? KansDem May 2014 #133

Exactly. If privilege is just racism as so many here argue . . . Damansarajaya May 2014 #135

Who argued that? BainsBane May 2014 #149

See below Damansarajaya May 2014 #192

Yes i did say that. bravenak May 2014 #194

Fair enough. Damansarajaya May 2014 #200

Goody for you. bravenak May 2014 #204

Wow. Sorry to hear about the abuse Damansarajaya May 2014 #210

That isn't saying the only kind of privilege relates to race BainsBane May 2014 #207

We're just going to have to agree to disagree on this one. Damansarajaya May 2014 #220

I'm glad you read it and gave it some thought BainsBane May 2014 #224

and how many were imprisoned as a result? BainsBane May 2014 #151

+ a bazillion. chervilant May 2014 #215

I believe it is about externalizing racism BainsBane May 2014 #231

That is clearly an aspect of the denial chervilant May 2014 #241

Thanks very much, chervilant BainsBane May 2014 #275

This ^ geardaddy May 2014 #196

This thread has made me want to scratch my face off. bravenak May 2014 #99

It's really just been one member BainsBane May 2014 #120

Oh hellz yeah. riqster May 2014 #107

BB JustAnotherGen May 2014 #108

You're right, of course BainsBane May 2014 #112

Eh? We all make mistakes JustAnotherGen May 2014 #113

A basic lesson BainsBane May 2014 #115

Well said. nt el_bryanto May 2014 #109

K&R n/t myrna minx May 2014 #111

K&R Starry Messenger May 2014 #114

Well Said! Bettie May 2014 #118

I have race & class privilege & see it every time I ride the bus. CrispyQ May 2014 #125

Why do you think that is? BainsBane May 2014 #154

I think it's a kind of respect for my space, a reluctance to infringe upon my space, CrispyQ May 2014 #167

I got suspended from FSU for exercising the same curfew rights as campus men. I also lost a job ancianita May 2014 #128

K&R. nt awoke_in_2003 May 2014 #129

As a fellow middle-class white chick -- well said, BainsBane! Really amazes me how anyone could DesertDiamond May 2014 #131

hear here!!! So well put. BlancheSplanchnik May 2014 #132

Yay, not one post about "female privilege" because ladies nights at bars bettyellen May 2014 #134

That's because the main topic is white privilege. redqueen May 2014 #153

oops, you are right. I already got scolded about not caring about equality because I'm not working bettyellen May 2014 #159

ah the old MRA talking point BainsBane May 2014 #166

we are supposed to have equal opportunity, but not make better use of it! FUCK THAT, LOL. bettyellen May 2014 #168

I love you! JustAnotherGen May 2014 #171

I love you too Gen! bettyellen May 2014 #179

LOL redqueen May 2014 #177

It reminds me of the convulted logic employed to try to convince me to do my brothers laundry.... bettyellen May 2014 #181

Where you go astray.... CANDO May 2014 #137

"Zimmerman is of ethnic origin." lol nt NCTraveler May 2014 #143

No, you don't get it BainsBane May 2014 #152

Can you point me to references JustAnotherGen May 2014 #162

Here was my thread/op on white privilege JustAnotherGen May 2014 #163

I am more privileged that (sic) some in terms of class but less privileged than others. Tuesday Afternoon May 2014 #140

Good job articulating that. Thanks. GoneFishin May 2014 #144

Someone alerted on my OP BainsBane May 2014 #145

To the person who sent the alert. NCTraveler May 2014 #150

When people decide the subject itself is illegtimate BainsBane May 2014 #161

Well slap my ass and call me sally! JustAnotherGen May 2014 #156

Maybe this is what happens when they read it? M0rpheus May 2014 #164

Oh - that's not good JustAnotherGen May 2014 #170

I still have that other GIF in reserve! M0rpheus May 2014 #172

Get out! JustAnotherGen May 2014 #174

Up close and personal, it's... um... yeah... M0rpheus May 2014 #244

I want to know where you keep BainsBane May 2014 #228

Idris says... M0rpheus May 2014 #242

It's solely for research purposes BainsBane May 2014 #245

Reallly? M0rpheus May 2014 #246

:) BainsBane May 2014 #247

Emergency! M0rpheus May 2014 #254

~ MO sheshe2 May 2014 #277

Nah... I just have no gosh darned sense. M0rpheus May 2014 #292

God daaaammmmn! JustAnotherGen May 2014 #252

Noooooo! M0rpheus May 2014 #253

She's fickle anyway BainsBane May 2014 #272

Hmmm... Idris loves loyalty! M0rpheus May 2014 #293

Oh - The Gio knows JustAnotherGen May 2014 #287

Idris says... M0rpheus May 2014 #291

Nat Turner never mentioned "white privlege" BainsBane May 2014 #173

Neither did JustAnotherGen May 2014 #175

Sojourner Truth spoke about white male privilege, even if she didn't use the word. BainsBane May 2014 #176

Too late - I started a list JustAnotherGen May 2014 #178

What a tremendously powerful speech. And sadly, in some ways we're fighting same battles nomorenomore08 May 2014 #250

Karen Finney on Disrupt on Sunday had a good segment on Does ‘privilege-checking’ shut down debate? Gothmog May 2014 #157

K&R stage left May 2014 #158

So...what? Privilege check done. Now what? Comrade Grumpy May 2014 #180

Here are but a few examples of White Male privilege from my own experience..... Burma Jones May 2014 #183

Wow. That is intense BainsBane May 2014 #230

Prison if I were lucky........ Burma Jones May 2014 #289

Brava~ BainsBane! sheshe2 May 2014 #184

I prefer to call these things 'Human rights' rather than 'privileges' Dems to Win May 2014 #188

You of course are free to call it what you like BainsBane May 2014 #202

That first pargraph kind is something I have faced. Lady Freedom Returns May 2014 #198

Excellent! Very well said! scarletwoman May 2014 #205

As someone who grew up poor, poverty is also a huge stigma. WCLinolVir May 2014 #216

to sooth the savage beasts heaven05 May 2014 #225

You hit one out of the park with this post! etherealtruth May 2014 #232

Thanks, etherealtruth! nt BainsBane May 2014 #233

it is really quite simple noiretextatique May 2014 #236

K & R !!! WillyT May 2014 #237

Totally agree bhikkhu May 2014 #248

I tried to get straight married in 1979 and was refused. Manifestor_of_Light May 2014 #258

I don't believe in "white men" betsuni May 2014 #259

How could you do this to me?!? bravenak May 2014 #261

. BainsBane May 2014 #262

I know what it says, but WHAT THE HECK DOES IT MEAN?? bravenak May 2014 #264

I'm stuck on people without color. BainsBane May 2014 #265

I'm just stuck. bravenak May 2014 #268

See post #54 betsuni May 2014 #270

You got me. bravenak May 2014 #271

I thought betsuni May 2014 #274

Itz my fault. bravenak May 2014 #278

No, no, my fault betsuni May 2014 #285

Well, betsuni May 2014 #263

Well then, good decision. bravenak May 2014 #266

Raptured BainsBane May 2014 #269

They aren't real because you don't think race matters? BainsBane May 2014 #267

What? betsuni May 2014 #290

This was awesome!! bravenak May 2014 #294

It's odd how many of DU's chronically aggreived white guys live in Asia. LeftyMom May 2014 #279

It was a joke. bravenak May 2014 #281

They think American women are too "uppity" or something? Like the mail-order-bride dudes? n/t nomorenomore08 May 2014 #295

Kick, kick, kick!!! Heidi May 2014 #286