How Science Just Proved That Life Sucks

[Scootaloo]

12. I have to ask... what rap and hip hop have you heard?

It seems to me that "I hate rap" is much more of a reflexive opinion than it is an informed one. I thought I hated the stuff too, until I listened to it.

Thought the same about disco for that matter. Funk, dubstep, even some amount of modern pop (I love gaga, and like I said, i think beiber has talent he just doesn't use), all these reviled forms of music... are actually pretty damn good once you sit down for a listen.

In fact only two varieties of music are consistenly bad - "New age" stuff, which all sounds liek the aural version of those Lisa Frank bookcovers all the girls in elementary school had back in the day...

And modern country. I've tried on country. I've tried so hard. I discovered I love bluegrass. I love folk, and folk fusion like Robert Mirabal and the Duhks. Even old country is good - nobody hates johnny Cash, and Hank Williams, Sr. is worth a listen.

Modern country universally sounds like Nickelback, stripped of any hint of blues influence, and put in a cowboy hat. It's always the same gormless motherfucker in a button-down, using the same southern accent you only hear in country music (grew up in the south, never hard anything that sounds like that), singing the same pablum about Amurka, his dad, the girl in the shorts, and Amurka a little more. They should prescribe country music to those people with the condition that causes spontaneous orgasms, it'll cure them right up.