The myth of the 'nice guy' and Elliot Rodger.

[JonLP24]

13. Everything you say is true

Your headline initially wanted me to say this as comment: The nice guy thing goes both ways, plenty of men will choose women that use them, disrespect them, etc over women for a variety of reasons like more attractive for instance.

Back in March, I met a woman I'd be very interested in dating and she seemed interested too but I'm the type that will never make any of the first moves ever which led me to only being in relationships with women blunt enough to do everything necessary to begin a relationship. That is another story, anyways she didn't wait around for me and had about 4 different relationships since I've known her. First one had a cartoon like arrogance and that relationship ended when he poured beer on her because he had to wait for her.

Next one, I actually never met the guy but he stole a lot of her belongings and never returned to his own apartment with his name on the lease. I really didn't understand the logic of that.

A third guy for some reason just didn't like me so was always an unnecessary asshole towards me but since I've always had her back, treated her like a human, was pretty much one of the only people she trusted told me I could always stay at her place anytime. I recall while I was asleep one morning he was talking non-stop shit to me while she was in the shower but the volume of his voice would rise and lower to the shower turning on and off which I found absolutely hysterical. That ended because she felt he was doing more harm than good.

The 4th was her ex who she broke up with shortly before she met me. He actually seems normal, dad & family loves him, has a full-time job but there are times where he uses incredibly insulting terms (I try to stick to logic, facts, etc in arguments rather than simply calling someone a "bitch" for instance) and he kicked in her door twice - like he has the right to do such a thing. Second time completely ruined her deadbolt lock. She wasn't home both times but he did it because he felt she was home, just didn't want to open the door.

Me, there are many instances where I'm too nice IOW passive but I handle things very uniquely from others. There are times where I can live with being disrespected because I can simply cut the person from my life. In situations where I need to put my foot down, I do. She is exactly the opposite. She is a firecracker w/ an extremely short fuse, I think while at first she would be interested in dating me she drifted away from that when she seen me be "too nice". The men she chooses, none of them are in any danger of being "too nice".

Like with what you say though - I don't hold any grudges or think anything less of. She is actually a great friend in a time and place where those are hard to find and that is something I actually prefer to keep that way. Besides the snapping off before getting a chance to explain myself isn't something I look for in an ideal mate.