General Discussion

bloom

(11,638 posts)

55. Women can have the loneliness and isolation

Mon May 26, 2014, 01:19 PM

May 2014

but don't end up trying to get revenge on the world.

I have a daughter who is isolated. Who if someone tries to help will not respond. Who was on meds, but won't take them.

She is also exceedingly intelligent, and all around awesome, in many ways.

When I read about young men who are isolated and end up going on shooting rampages, I am very glad that she is female and not male.
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When I read about someone like Rodgers, I wish there was a way to shut down hate-web-sites, as I see them as responsible as the perpetrator, himself. Lonely, isolated individuals are too prone to finding connections there. I expect that most (all?) of the people who are part of such a 'group' are lonely, isolated individuals.

But then, from some people's POV, DU could be a hate-web-site (in that many of us hate right-idiocy), and we certainly would not want DU to get shut down.

I think anything advocating violence should be shut down.

I would like to see society be an intolerant of hatred towards women as we are intolerant of hatred toward blacks or Jews, or Irish or Italians, etc.

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I had a brother, and now a nephew that remind me very much of Elliot, and it is scary to contemplate [View all] bettyellen May 2014 OP

Mercy shenmue May 2014 #1

Well said KT2000 May 2014 #2

whenever something like the UCSB shootings occurs... mike_c May 2014 #3

I do condemn his sick attitudes, and am relieved that very few feel that way. All the while bettyellen May 2014 #5

amen on the gun control demigoddess May 2014 #18

I shudder to think what would have happened if we had guns around. Johnny did enough damage with bettyellen May 2014 #20

right back at you demigoddess May 2014 #27

I felt that way about my mother too catrose May 2014 #28

Oh catrose, I am so sorry bettyellen May 2014 #43

Brain malfunction Roarybeans May 2014 #46

My third grade teacher told my entire class Johnny was not going to heaven - bettyellen May 2014 #79

Sharing stories like yours helps others to understand BrotherIvan May 2014 #4

I hope so. Those of us in favor of gun control cannot afford to ignore this issue... bettyellen May 2014 #9

There are no easy answers, but families dealing with mental health issues clearly need more support hlthe2b May 2014 #6

thank you, and yes, so much depends on the community. If my brother survived the 70's he'd likely bettyellen May 2014 #10

People are complicated creatures. PeaceNikki May 2014 #7

Yes, we are. You never know what people are quietly struggling with. And this is not something I bettyellen May 2014 #16

It's true. PeaceNikki May 2014 #19

Wow. bettyellen May 2014 #37

I really appreciate this post. Raine1967 May 2014 #8

I am glad to hear he is getting help. I had no empathy even reading his bio at first, and then said bettyellen May 2014 #17

I didn't want to read it either, and I am not done yet. Raine1967 May 2014 #24

It is a tough read, he seems completely selfish and jealous of any little thing anyone else has that bettyellen May 2014 #25

thank you for sharing your story renate May 2014 #11

I appreciate your post Renate, I had the "what a raging asshole" reaction too, even though I should bettyellen May 2014 #13

Thank-you for sharing your story and your honesty Blue_Roses May 2014 #12

All I can say is.....good luck. Hope your nephew gets the help he needs. AverageJoe90 May 2014 #14

I understand. I have worried about this GreenPartyVoter May 2014 #15

I wish I could ease your worries, and wish the best outcome for bettyellen May 2014 #21

Thank you! Maybe it will be OK and he will grow up fine. We just have GreenPartyVoter May 2014 #22

Thank you for sharing this... PasadenaTrudy May 2014 #23

yeah, drama like that will make you grateful there were never guns around, I get it. bettyellen May 2014 #30

I don't know what to say bettyellen Aerows May 2014 #26

I will probably never see my nephew, as my SIL is one huge grudge holding control freak bettyellen May 2014 #29

sister in law kardonb May 2014 #31

did he ever have a head injury? mopinko May 2014 #32

my brother was caught a bit in the umbilical cord at birth- people speculated that might have hurt bettyellen May 2014 #35

funny mopinko May 2014 #40

I know they speculated about emotional trauma possibly being a trigger... bettyellen May 2014 #44

Our culture discourages male friendships, and in that way, closeupready May 2014 #33

It is clearly some kind of emotional/psychologocal disease nikto May 2014 #34

"You make others wiser by sharing this agony." Nicely put. And true. calimary May 2014 #41

"How can we do better?" That is the best question, and a big reason I am grateful for Obamacare. bettyellen May 2014 #64

Obamacare will be even better when... nikto May 2014 #72

Thank you for this, bettyellen- finally a sensible and sensitive post about Elliot Rodgers NBachers May 2014 #36

Thank you for posting this. glinda May 2014 #38

you are welcome glinda. bettyellen May 2014 #70

Incredible OP. Thank you. IrishAyes May 2014 #39

Thank you for saying so, and for being such a good friend to yours. bettyellen May 2014 #68

Thank you for sharing this story. I know it must have been painful, at least somewhat, to revisit nomorenomore08 May 2014 #42

No easy answers. Hopefully by sharing some will understand bettyellen May 2014 #56

I guess I know a little about that, having suffered from long-term chronic depression and perhaps nomorenomore08 May 2014 #69

thank you for sharing your story. barbtries May 2014 #45

you're welcome. after all these years, I was more nervous than sad to tell about it... bettyellen May 2014 #66

I spent five years being "raised" by a sociopath and a woman with Borderline Personality Disorder tavalon May 2014 #47

I knew I wouldn't have kids because of the possibility bettyellen May 2014 #54

I wish I had had that kind of forethought tavalon May 2014 #74

well my family had the women in charge of this stuff, and I saw how it wrecked my mom bettyellen May 2014 #75

Same here, except for the neices and nephew thing tavalon May 2014 #77

I completely relate to your experience. I have a bi-polar sister and a schizophrenic brother. mackerel May 2014 #48

Yes, there seems to be an inability to cope and small things get blown up bettyellen May 2014 #57

Don't mean to stray of-topic, but here's a question: snot May 2014 #49

My brother was pre-Atari, but he spent a lot of time "off by himself" bettyellen May 2014 #53

Of course, snot May 2014 #65

the general avoidance definately seems like an early sign in these cases- bettyellen May 2014 #67

MMOs are social entities. jeff47 May 2014 #78

Men. Almost always, it's men. Laelth May 2014 #50

Women can have the loneliness and isolation bloom May 2014 #55

Our 1st Amendment makes what you propose problematic. Laelth May 2014 #59

At least there is this: bloom May 2014 #60

I am torn on this. Laelth May 2014 #61

For all the other Elliot's out there, I hope they become more like this Elliot... cascadiance May 2014 #51

Thank you!! janlyn May 2014 #52

I am sorry to hear that, and thank you for sharing. bettyellen May 2014 #63

This thread has touched so many people. annabanana May 2014 #58

I have been really touched by every single reply here too. I don't want to be a jerk and reply to bettyellen May 2014 #62

Thank you so much for posting this, bettyellen. There is also a very close member nirvana555 May 2014 #71

I think a lot of people don't realize the many years of constant stress bettyellen May 2014 #73

i am so very sorry for all you have been through. Sissyk May 2014 #76