I want to know how men REALLY think about women and sex

[TM99]

86. I think you are close but missing one crucial component.

Women are exactly the same.

Yes, they really are. I have counseled both sexes for decades - singles, couples, cis & transgendered, gay & straight, etc.

Women are also looking for two men (or two women) at the same time as well.

They want a partner that will meet their emotional needs, and that varies from woman to woman as it does from man to man. They want that someone special. Love. And just like most men, they also don't know how to get there.

They want a man that fits cultural definitions as well such as power and success. They objectify in the exact same ways. If they are beautiful enough, sweet enough, nurturing enough, smart enough, etc., then they will get the 'prize' as well - the perfect man who will love them so well that he will read their minds and instantly know exactly what she means by 'perfect love'.

And women also believe that men are a reward as well. I am beautiful so I can pick any man I want. I am perfect in bed. I am smarter than most men. Neither sex has the monopoly on self-absorption and solipsistic thinking about themselves and the world around them.

Feminism which seeks to truly create equality and addresses women-to-women realities is a great thing. I have a problem with the brand of feminism which I sadly see far too often on these boards which really boils down to men = bad and women = good.

And I believe that your last paragraph falls right into that perversion of belief. The real challenge for BOTH men and women is to open up and to honestly share their thoughts, hopes, strengths, weaknesses, etc. No gender again holds the monopoly on emotional immaturity. Women are no more 'goddesses' who perfectly embody maturity, awareness, the ability to make choices separate from their biology, etc. than men are all capable of rape, violent by their essential nature, and emotionally stunted in their relationships.

Again, both sexes are exactly the same. I see immature men AND women daily. They are young. They are middle aged. They are old. They lie to themselves and deceive others in their unconsciousness. They are screwed up in their relationships. They are unable to find happiness within or without.

Do you want to really know what men think about women and sex? The exact damned thing that women think about men and sex. It is culturally conditioned. It is based on their familial upbringings. It is based on their own constitutions and innate psychic orientations. We fixate on the differences only to ignore the real similarities.

And around and around we go.