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In reply to the discussion: Men [View all]Gravitycollapse
(8,155 posts)My singular experience is my own and not necessarily a representation of the norm. But the reason why my mother won custody is that my father initially made it very clear he wanted the business and she could keep the children. Because that's all he gave a shit about. Once he realized this was transparently self-serving, he was humiliated and immediately began the process of regaining either partial or sole custody.
I was forced by his idiocy to attend therapy sessions with a court appointed mediator whose job was to determine what kind of relationship we as children had with our father. After a month or so, she reported back to the court not only that the relationship was tenuous at best but also that he was a deeply troubled, selfish individual. After that, he kept his mouth shut.
I remember several years later, one of the last times I ever spoke to him, he told me how he fantasized about killing my mother and stepfather with a gun.
In my case, the court system worked despite being unable to get him to choke up the 50,000 dollars he owed in back child support. My mother will probably never see that money. But the system kept us, the children, out of the hands of a delusional, self-righteous asshole. And I have a hard time believing that, underneath this, there exists a world diametrically opposed to all other realms of society, which crucifies "noble" fathers and worships at the feet of mothers.
Being frank, such a perspective makes no goddamn sense.