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Gravitycollapse

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63. My argument is not evolutionary psychology. It is not essentialist.

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 12:51 AM

Jun 2014

Beyond recognizing basic structure of self and other.

I am speaking of the consequences of socialization and how it acts like a machine, taking these base pains and anxieties and fosters them in ways not capable of being independently imagined by the subject of the socialization.

It is the aggregate of prejudice which lays the path. It is not inborn. You are not born racist or sexist. You are born with the pain of reconciling the the self with other. As you grow, as your world grows, these seeds of prejudice are driven in different directions by the social world around you.

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Some things for us guys to keep in mind about sexism if we don't want to come off as jerks. [View all] Danger Mouse Jun 2014 OP

Wow. Thank you. Warpy Jun 2014 #1

Great post. Brickbat Jun 2014 #2

K&R! smirkymonkey Jun 2014 #3

Thank You mista411 Jun 2014 #4

These days Leme Jun 2014 #5

K&R nt laundry_queen Jun 2014 #6

11. Avoid "but what about men's problems" responses to discussions of misogyny/sexism geek tragedy Jun 2014 #7

Agreed with (most of) 12, at least. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #12

Racism is just racism, so the term reverse-racism is just silly. Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #15

Excellent post. K&R Louisiana1976 Jun 2014 #8

It's an old term, but that really is 'consciousness raising.' Thanks. freshwest Jun 2014 #9

Not so sure about 4, and definitely not 5, but everything else is good. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #10

You don't think we've all been sexist at times, even if unintentionally? Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #16

I'm sure it's happened to many of us.....possibly even myself. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #17

You may be right...but... Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #21

I would go so far as to say nearly every woman (maybe every woman) has been sexist spooky3 Jun 2014 #31

I think all of us have been sexist at some point, men and women alike. elias7 Jun 2014 #32

The terms "sex object" and "objectification" actually don't refer to thinking of someone as an DesertDiamond Jun 2014 #44

We need to stop viewing this issue as an exclusion of innocents. NO ONE IS INNOCENT... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #49

I would worry about actual actions, not "thought crimes" Demeter Jun 2014 #67

your framing of this issue leaves no hope. yodermon Jun 2014 #95

It leaves no false hope of an easy fix... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #99

Very true. Very true indeed. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #59

Thanks for clarifying elias7 Jun 2014 #68

That's not a stretch at all, actually. Every day we're alive, we are sexist in some way. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #46

I'm afraid we'll just have to agree to (partly) disagree on this one. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #58

"Racism is not normalized in today's society, overall." - It absolutely is. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #61

I have (some very logical & reasonable) doubts about that. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #62

My argument is not evolutionary psychology. It is not essentialist. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #63

"It is not inborn. You are not born racist or sexist." Well, glad we cleared that up, at least....nt AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #64

Oh, They're Valid Points, All Right Leith Jun 2014 #18

Sorry that happened to you. =( nt AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #19

If that should happen to you again, drive to the police station. nt raccoon Jun 2014 #70

I was just going to say that TorchTheWitch Jun 2014 #72

I hear you. Like not being able to get off work because a gang of them say they're gonna get you, freshwest Jun 2014 #82

mind if I pass this along? G_j Jun 2014 #11

KnR sheshe2 Jun 2014 #13

DUzy shenmue Jun 2014 #14

OMG this is awesome! passiveporcupine Jun 2014 #20

Great summation treestar Jun 2014 #22

i tell my husband artemis starwolf Jun 2014 #23

i'm left handed myself....so that much, at least, i can relate to. Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #24

surgical instruments and drugs are designed for men- they didn't test on women unless they had to bettyellen Jun 2014 #27

The lawnmower pull is maddening. I'll be buying your sufrommich Jun 2014 #33

Good points, and welcome to DU! (by the way, I bought a lawnmower with key starter spooky3 Jun 2014 #34

I Have a Funny Story from the Opposite Point of View Leith Jun 2014 #35

I have an opposite-opposite story :) Demit Jun 2014 #77

yep, me too artemis starwolf Jun 2014 #113

Great post. Consider starting a thread about this. As a lefty small woman, I totally concur. nt raccoon Jun 2014 #71

#10 truly sums it up mackerel Jun 2014 #25

Yes, my thought is don't act like you need to tell others how to act. n-t Logical Jun 2014 #26

Bravo! Excellent OP. sufrommich Jun 2014 #28

friend zone Eric J in MN Jun 2014 #29

usually people who use the term 'friend zone'... Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #37

A person may use the term friend zone in a sexist rant Eric J in MN Jun 2014 #51

I think the thing is- the friend zone only exists in the mind of the person not getting what they... bettyellen Jun 2014 #60

Exactly FrodosPet Jun 2014 #65

And he blames her for all of it. Instead of himself for not respecting her autonomy. He has got to bettyellen Jun 2014 #66

^ THIS ^ mac56 Jun 2014 #83

And it has a perfectly acceptable name for it already. NuclearDem Jun 2014 #39

A man would usually use that term about a woman he's attracted to... Eric J in MN Jun 2014 #52

The latter one sounds to me pretty similar to the former one. spooky3 Jun 2014 #53

In both cases Eric J in MN Jun 2014 #56

Indeed. Veilex Jun 2014 #40

What's quantifiable about it? Demit Jun 2014 #78

You're actually quite wrong. "Friend zone" denotes a romantic rejection by a woman... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #50

If a man says that Eric J in MN Jun 2014 #54

Wishing to have sex with someone is not the same as being "friend zoned." Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #57

I'll refere again to wikipedia for this discussion... Veilex Jun 2014 #88

I don't give a shit what a crowd edited encyclopedia... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #94

"You are trying to maintain the status quo." Veilex Jun 2014 #103

Not entitled to sex because he is nicer... Demo_Chris Jun 2014 #91

That is a ridiculous claim. He isn't being punished for being nice... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #93

I was saying what those you use this terminology believe... Demo_Chris Jun 2014 #96

'Friend zone' is a term designated by the person who is being rejected. Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #98

I agree wholeheartedly. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #102

No, wait. Friend zone does NOT mean rejection knightmaar Jun 2014 #111

Do we then embrace intellectual consistency and apply this term to our close friends, too? LanternWaste Jun 2014 #90

And guys don't do that to women as well? LOL! I've done that bullwinkle428 Jun 2014 #92

Using "Friend Zone" still seems kind of icky to me. It implies something other than a friend. whopis01 Jun 2014 #100

Thank you! onecaliberal Jun 2014 #30

This post was better than I thought it would be IronLionZion Jun 2014 #36

Rec 50 and happy to do so. BlancheSplanchnik Jun 2014 #38

I wish someone had taught me about number 6 when I was in high school. NuclearDem Jun 2014 #41

Hmmmm... 3 & 7 seem to be at odds with eachother. Veilex Jun 2014 #42

What I mean in #3 is... Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #43

Fair enough. Veilex Jun 2014 #45

It is a good step to take. Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #101

Indeed! Veilex Jun 2014 #105

Danger Mouse, I send you a big, huge hug!!! DesertDiamond Jun 2014 #47

Excellent... one_voice Jun 2014 #48

k&r nt arely staircase Jun 2014 #55

Well done and thanks cali Jun 2014 #69

All good seveneyes Jun 2014 #73

This MynameisBlarney Jun 2014 #74

+1000 heaven05 Jun 2014 #75

well said! TorchTheWitch Jun 2014 #76

Kick for the truth. riqster Jun 2014 #79

I want to expand on #6. AtheistCrusader Jun 2014 #80

This. I'd rec a post if i could. Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #97

Great post! myrna minx Jun 2014 #81

That was worth the click tavalon Jun 2014 #84

good example of a real man! demigoddess Jun 2014 #85

excellent, excellent OP. Thank you magical thyme Jun 2014 #86

KnR. nt tblue37 Jun 2014 #87

Solid. Straight forward. Kind. Thank you. I hope you're cloned someday. nt ancianita Jun 2014 #89

Lose me on 5 davidn3600 Jun 2014 #104

If each gender has privileges, you should be able to recognize hughee99 Jun 2014 #107

I think men are just as oblivious to their privileges as women are to their own privileges davidn3600 Jun 2014 #108

Maybe you should take a moment and several thousand more to realize your own privilege. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #112

K&R. Paladin Jun 2014 #106

Excellent! smallcat88 Jun 2014 #109

My thoughts exactly. Thanks n/t intaglio Jun 2014 #110