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tblue37

(68,436 posts)

87. KnR. nt

Reply to Danger Mouse (Original post)

Mon Jun 2, 2014, 12:22 PM

Jun 2014

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Some things for us guys to keep in mind about sexism if we don't want to come off as jerks. [View all] Danger Mouse Jun 2014 OP

Wow. Thank you. Warpy Jun 2014 #1

Great post. Brickbat Jun 2014 #2

K&R! smirkymonkey Jun 2014 #3

Thank You mista411 Jun 2014 #4

These days Leme Jun 2014 #5

K&R nt laundry_queen Jun 2014 #6

11. Avoid "but what about men's problems" responses to discussions of misogyny/sexism geek tragedy Jun 2014 #7

Agreed with (most of) 12, at least. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #12

Racism is just racism, so the term reverse-racism is just silly. Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #15

Excellent post. K&R Louisiana1976 Jun 2014 #8

It's an old term, but that really is 'consciousness raising.' Thanks. freshwest Jun 2014 #9

Not so sure about 4, and definitely not 5, but everything else is good. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #10

You don't think we've all been sexist at times, even if unintentionally? Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #16

I'm sure it's happened to many of us.....possibly even myself. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #17

You may be right...but... Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #21

I would go so far as to say nearly every woman (maybe every woman) has been sexist spooky3 Jun 2014 #31

I think all of us have been sexist at some point, men and women alike. elias7 Jun 2014 #32

The terms "sex object" and "objectification" actually don't refer to thinking of someone as an DesertDiamond Jun 2014 #44

We need to stop viewing this issue as an exclusion of innocents. NO ONE IS INNOCENT... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #49

I would worry about actual actions, not "thought crimes" Demeter Jun 2014 #67

your framing of this issue leaves no hope. yodermon Jun 2014 #95

It leaves no false hope of an easy fix... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #99

Very true. Very true indeed. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #59

Thanks for clarifying elias7 Jun 2014 #68

That's not a stretch at all, actually. Every day we're alive, we are sexist in some way. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #46

I'm afraid we'll just have to agree to (partly) disagree on this one. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #58

"Racism is not normalized in today's society, overall." - It absolutely is. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #61

I have (some very logical & reasonable) doubts about that. AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #62

My argument is not evolutionary psychology. It is not essentialist. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #63

"It is not inborn. You are not born racist or sexist." Well, glad we cleared that up, at least....nt AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #64

Oh, They're Valid Points, All Right Leith Jun 2014 #18

Sorry that happened to you. =( nt AverageJoe90 Jun 2014 #19

If that should happen to you again, drive to the police station. nt raccoon Jun 2014 #70

I was just going to say that TorchTheWitch Jun 2014 #72

I hear you. Like not being able to get off work because a gang of them say they're gonna get you, freshwest Jun 2014 #82

mind if I pass this along? G_j Jun 2014 #11

KnR sheshe2 Jun 2014 #13

DUzy shenmue Jun 2014 #14

OMG this is awesome! passiveporcupine Jun 2014 #20

Great summation treestar Jun 2014 #22

i tell my husband artemis starwolf Jun 2014 #23

i'm left handed myself....so that much, at least, i can relate to. Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #24

surgical instruments and drugs are designed for men- they didn't test on women unless they had to bettyellen Jun 2014 #27

The lawnmower pull is maddening. I'll be buying your sufrommich Jun 2014 #33

Good points, and welcome to DU! (by the way, I bought a lawnmower with key starter spooky3 Jun 2014 #34

I Have a Funny Story from the Opposite Point of View Leith Jun 2014 #35

I have an opposite-opposite story :) Demit Jun 2014 #77

yep, me too artemis starwolf Jun 2014 #113

Great post. Consider starting a thread about this. As a lefty small woman, I totally concur. nt raccoon Jun 2014 #71

#10 truly sums it up mackerel Jun 2014 #25

Yes, my thought is don't act like you need to tell others how to act. n-t Logical Jun 2014 #26

Bravo! Excellent OP. sufrommich Jun 2014 #28

friend zone Eric J in MN Jun 2014 #29

usually people who use the term 'friend zone'... Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #37

A person may use the term friend zone in a sexist rant Eric J in MN Jun 2014 #51

I think the thing is- the friend zone only exists in the mind of the person not getting what they... bettyellen Jun 2014 #60

Exactly FrodosPet Jun 2014 #65

And he blames her for all of it. Instead of himself for not respecting her autonomy. He has got to bettyellen Jun 2014 #66

^ THIS ^ mac56 Jun 2014 #83

And it has a perfectly acceptable name for it already. NuclearDem Jun 2014 #39

A man would usually use that term about a woman he's attracted to... Eric J in MN Jun 2014 #52

The latter one sounds to me pretty similar to the former one. spooky3 Jun 2014 #53

In both cases Eric J in MN Jun 2014 #56

Indeed. Veilex Jun 2014 #40

What's quantifiable about it? Demit Jun 2014 #78

You're actually quite wrong. "Friend zone" denotes a romantic rejection by a woman... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #50

If a man says that Eric J in MN Jun 2014 #54

Wishing to have sex with someone is not the same as being "friend zoned." Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #57

I'll refere again to wikipedia for this discussion... Veilex Jun 2014 #88

I don't give a shit what a crowd edited encyclopedia... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #94

"You are trying to maintain the status quo." Veilex Jun 2014 #103

Not entitled to sex because he is nicer... Demo_Chris Jun 2014 #91

That is a ridiculous claim. He isn't being punished for being nice... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #93

I was saying what those you use this terminology believe... Demo_Chris Jun 2014 #96

'Friend zone' is a term designated by the person who is being rejected. Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #98

I agree wholeheartedly. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #102

No, wait. Friend zone does NOT mean rejection knightmaar Jun 2014 #111

Do we then embrace intellectual consistency and apply this term to our close friends, too? LanternWaste Jun 2014 #90

And guys don't do that to women as well? LOL! I've done that bullwinkle428 Jun 2014 #92

Using "Friend Zone" still seems kind of icky to me. It implies something other than a friend. whopis01 Jun 2014 #100

Thank you! onecaliberal Jun 2014 #30

This post was better than I thought it would be IronLionZion Jun 2014 #36

Rec 50 and happy to do so. BlancheSplanchnik Jun 2014 #38

I wish someone had taught me about number 6 when I was in high school. NuclearDem Jun 2014 #41

Hmmmm... 3 & 7 seem to be at odds with eachother. Veilex Jun 2014 #42

What I mean in #3 is... Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #43

Fair enough. Veilex Jun 2014 #45

It is a good step to take. Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #101

Indeed! Veilex Jun 2014 #105

Danger Mouse, I send you a big, huge hug!!! DesertDiamond Jun 2014 #47

Excellent... one_voice Jun 2014 #48

k&r nt arely staircase Jun 2014 #55

Well done and thanks cali Jun 2014 #69

All good seveneyes Jun 2014 #73

This MynameisBlarney Jun 2014 #74

+1000 heaven05 Jun 2014 #75

well said! TorchTheWitch Jun 2014 #76

Kick for the truth. riqster Jun 2014 #79

I want to expand on #6. AtheistCrusader Jun 2014 #80

This. I'd rec a post if i could. Danger Mouse Jun 2014 #97

Great post! myrna minx Jun 2014 #81

That was worth the click tavalon Jun 2014 #84

good example of a real man! demigoddess Jun 2014 #85

excellent, excellent OP. Thank you magical thyme Jun 2014 #86

KnR. nt tblue37 Jun 2014 #87

Solid. Straight forward. Kind. Thank you. I hope you're cloned someday. nt ancianita Jun 2014 #89

Lose me on 5 davidn3600 Jun 2014 #104

If each gender has privileges, you should be able to recognize hughee99 Jun 2014 #107

I think men are just as oblivious to their privileges as women are to their own privileges davidn3600 Jun 2014 #108

Maybe you should take a moment and several thousand more to realize your own privilege. Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #112

K&R. Paladin Jun 2014 #106

Excellent! smallcat88 Jun 2014 #109

My thoughts exactly. Thanks n/t intaglio Jun 2014 #110